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Parenting
does your MIL do this? If so,does it tick you off?
I rely on my mother in law as our main babysitter and she is a wonderful person. However, I am very annoyed and offended by her at times. When she comes to babysit, she always has to clean the highchair or the stove or something that she feels "isnt clean enough", Im sure. (Those two things are the somewhat neglected chores). She doesnt make a big fuss and I do appreciate her efforts...but it offends me and ticks me off a little.
What to you think---does your MIL do this? How do you feel about it?
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Re: does your MIL do this? If so,does it tick you off?
so she's babysitting for you kid, which means she's probably using the high chair and the stove? And you said that those are two chores you neglect anyway? And you're upset that she cleans up after herself when she's used these things so that you don't have to clean them yourself?
That would so NOT tick me off. I'd either clean them better myself so she doesnt' have to clean them (although she still would if she used them, so I dont' get it really) or just deal with the fact that she's being helpful.
If she were going into your room and cleaning your closet or your bathroom, yeah, i'd get it. But this seems silly. Sorry.
Count your blessings! We have no family members who either babysit or clean for us. Everything related to taking care of our kids and house is a two-person operation here - me and my husband (unless we outsource it and pay people to help us). Granted, my MIL will stay with the boys once every six months or so while we go out for a few hours one night but she never cleans anything.
My parents do nothing for us.
I am always amazed when people complain about their parents or in-laws giving their kids too much or helping them around the house.
You are blessed to have the help, but I can understand how you might think she's making judgments about your housekeeping skills. She's not! She's just trying to help you out. My childcare provider does the same thing and I finally asked her if she thinks my house is dirty and she said no, but figured she'd help out where she sees a need.
It was my own pride that got in the way of my appreciation for her.
Smile and say thank you.
you're getting grandma care (and imo that can be some of the best care out there) and a cleaner stove and highchair? yeah, you got it ok.
i'm thinking your sensitive to it because you feel bad about being neglectful of the highchair and stove. i'd feel guilty too. so, i'd either scrub them before she came to sit or just accept the help.
Mine doesn't clean something she feels is messy, she just makes comments about the fact she feels its messy. For instance, she felt I hadn't vacuumed enough apparently one day (even though I vacuum everyday) and said my kid was going to get a hairball with all the hair on the floor. I had two cats, they wrestled, they left hair.
In answer to your question, cleaning it would probably annoy me as well. Though I guess it depends on your relationship. My MIL would be doing it b/c she felt I didn't do a good enough job (even though i'm way neater then she is by the way) and it would piss me off. My mother will do it (and has) b/c she wants to help me. That i'm okay with.
This.
And I will say that my MIL and mom do the same thing. And it makes me feel bad/guilty/stressed/inadequate even though they aren't trying to be mean or to judge me - I still FEEL judged. But I just say thank you and move on.
My MIL does stuff like this, and it actually doesn't bother me. She does it because she can't just do nothing when she's watching Jackson. I mean, seriously, she'd probably get dishes out of the dishwasher and wash them if she didn't have something else to do.
I think it's kind of lame, b/c it's clean IMO, but at the same time, if it's at my house, I can see how she might want something to do - it's not like she has her "stuff" there to do. She plays with Jackson, but when she used to watch him at our house, he was younger and napped a lot.
OMG on the underwear poster. Much of what MIL does annoys me, but the cleaning stuff would not. She doesn't do this, she just makes more messes. My mom does do this, only in the first few weeks of having a baby when she knows I'm not up and about. I appreciate that she does this. She'll take everything off the counters and give them a good cleaning or see some shelves that haven't been dusted in a long time.
Actually, I could see myself doing these things to my daughter or DIL in the future. I guess it's good to know it's not appreciated by some people and it might be seen as invasive.
My mother in law made our beds last week. She also folds our clothes and hand washes any dirty dishes in the sink. I've become a *** and left post-it notes up above the sink that says "please don't hand wash my dishes". She did it b/c I had DH tell her to quit loading and unloading my DW. b/c when she unloads it she puts stuff in the wrong spots and it's very obvious where I keep bottles and tupperware. When she has folded clothes she puts blankets in like 10 difffernet spots and so on. Plus, I just don't want her touching my undies and stuff.
I've gotten to where if I have freshly clean laundary that I haven't gotten to fold or hang, I put the big pile in my closet so that she won't see it.
Everything she does pisses me off. I don't want her here alone with my kids but DH was at the restaurant all day last tuesday for Mardi Gras and didn't want them there with him while he was planning stuff. She got a dress out of a bag hanging int he back of blaire's closet and it was a 4T and had gingerbread houses on it mind you and tore the tags off and put it on her. So, since then, I've labeled all the shoes as "wear" or "do not wear" and have put post its on the few bags I have in the closet for next season.
I also put a pretty hateful post it on a bottle of Armstrong floor cleaner that was in an Old Windex bottle. I had marked all over it indicating that it was floor cleaner, yet when I walked in one day, she was spraying it on the glass that I have sitting on top of my wood coffee table.
This is why I don't respond to too many MIL posts. B/c mine end up a mile long.
I'll share the story later of how she hit Blaire last week. I've not mentioned it to her yet, b/c I haven't seen her, but God help her when I do see her.
oh, and another time, she walked past the laundary room where I had my two yorkes behind a baby gate. She rudely stated "those dogs stink". Two days after I'd gotten them bathed and groomed. I was pretty rude and shot back that um, No, they don't.
A few minutes later I went to throw something and in the trash and realized that my husband probably hadn't let them out and one pooped in the floor. So, he picked it up and put it in the trash. I let her know that was she was smelling was the poop her son failed to dispose of properly. She then left.
I've also gotten to where if she's here when I get home, I go through the task of loading my kids in the car so she'll think we have errands to run. Otherwise, she'd sit in my house the rest of the afternon, never taking the hint that I want her gone.
I've seriously got to quit now.
ha, my mil never babysits our choice but the one or two times we did go out for a quick dinner and had her over she left a mess. its a shame bc i feel bad for DH but shes a BIG TIME smoker and altho, she doesnt smoke in thehouse she will go out and smoke and she just doesnt get it that smoke is one of ds' BIG asthma triggers, ugh.
anyways, my mom watches B on fridays and every one she comes in and 'straightens" up the playroom and bc she routinely does it i just let her, hell she does it better then me, haha!!!!!
My mil does do this and it used to bother me but doesn't anymore. I could care less if she wants to clean my house, secretly sometimes I hope she does. She used to do laundry but we've chatted about that & she doesn't do that anymore. It's something her mother used to do for her and so she does it for us. It's kind of nice.
Michelle