Babies: 0 - 3 Months

If DH was cheating would you work it out?

Just curious. I know that I wouldn't be able to be happy and forgive him after that. I would always be thinking about that and just wouldn't be happy. So would you try and work things out or just divorce? Before my Dh would even finish telling me he cheated I would be gone. Lol

Re: If DH was cheating would you work it out?

  • I think it's a complicated issue and not that black and white. We have a child together now. I can't say what I would do until I was in the situation.
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  • It's not an absolute dealbreaker for me; however, I wouldn't stay unconditionally, either.
  • imageOCMom2009:
    I think it's a complicated issue and not that black and white. We have a child together now. I can't say what I would do until I was in the situation.
    I know exacly what you mean, with my DD her father was cheating and I found out because the girl he was cheating with got a hold of my number. She called and they were having SEX while calling me!!!! He didn't know but she dialed my number while he was gone I guess and that's how I found out. I heard everything and I imidietly broke it off, DD was so little at the time I tried to work it out but than he said she was pregnant and I just couldn't take it. So I just know I wouldn't be able to do it knowing he cheated.
  • It would depend on the situation but I'd probably be gone. But now that we have a child I would at least try to get past it if it was a one time thing.
  • imageAnna&Matt:
    It would depend on the situation but I'd probably be gone. But now that we have a child I would at least try to get past it if it was a one time thing.
    I know what you mean but I believe that once a cheater always a cheater.
  • No. ?That's kind of the "If you ever really want to hurt me button" for both of us.?
    "Cool as Hell like e-mail, but still timeless like a letter."
  • i would like to think that i would leave, but unfortunatly i know that money is an issue. where would i go? how would i support myself? also i think it would depend on the sitation.
  • imageOCMom2009:
    I think it's a complicated issue and not that black and white. We have a child together now. I can't say what I would do until I was in the situation.

    I completely agree with this.

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  • DH knows that is a deal breaker.  So if he were to cheat it's like he would be asking me for a divorce.  I'd be gone. 
  • It would be a very difficult issue. But, I would not stay with my DH if he ever cheated. I have seen my sister go through this for ten years with the same guy. He has cheated and lied so many times and everytime she says she is going to leave but doesn't. She hasn't been happy for ten years!!! If she would have left him the first year he cheated she could have been happy and moved on with a great man by now.

    My DH was married before we were married. He walked in on his ex-wife having an affair. He didn't even hesitate giving her a second chance. And he is now a very happy man, at least that is what he tells me...hehehe....

    I would never put myself through the trust issues. I would just leave and deal with the hell getting over it for awhile. In the long run, I will be better off.

  • imagebabycrane:

    It would be a very difficult issue. But, I would not stay with my DH if he ever cheated. I have seen my sister go through this for ten years with the same guy. He has cheated and lied so many times and everytime she says she is going to leave but doesn't. She hasn't been happy for ten years!!! If she would have left him the first year he cheated she could have been happy and moved on with a great man by now.

    My DH was married before we were married. He walked in on his ex-wife having an affair. He didn't even hesitate giving her a second chance. And he is now a very happy man, at least that is what he tells me...hehehe....

    I would never put myself through the trust issues. I would just leave and deal with the hell getting over it for awhile. In the long run, I will be better off.

    I love your response :)
  • My Dad has cheated on my Mom for years and I have watched the pain he has put her through and it has been heartbreaking and terrible.

    However, I have a different relationship with my husband. I would HOPE that I could forgive him because we are so connected and right for eachother I wouldn't want to lose that. Although, if he is cheating I'm guessing that would already be gone.

  • there would be no "working things out" - if he cheats he can pack his bags
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  • No way. I think it is a black and white issue. Unless your husband has a sex addiction, he knows how to keep his pants on. 
  • No way! What kind of life would I have always wondering whether or not he was with another woman or not. Once a cheater always a cheater!
  • No Way! If my DH did this it would be bye bye for him.
  • Nope!  He understands that having an affair is the equivalent of asking me for a divorce.  If either one of us has an affair then there must be some fundamental problems in our relationship to allow that to happen.
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  • No.  That's a total deal breaker for us and I'm one of those "hard to forgive people" anyway.
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  • I would try to work through any problem in my marriage, with the exception of physical abuse of me or my children.

    ETA: And "once a cheater always a cheater" is an expression I hate. Every person on this planet is capable of change. 

    And, no, my husband has never cheated...before anyone goes assuming. LOL. 

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