Crying and Fussing

RunnerGirl17 · February 2010

Hi everyone,

Here's my vent/request for advice...

I'm finding that so much of my time with my girls is spent trying to keep them from crying. I feel like we only get about10-15 min. stretches of alert behavior when I can read them a story, talk to them, sing them a song, etc. before they get fussy and need to be soothed, bounced, rocked, etc.. Of those 10-15 min. of easygoing-let's-look-around-and-enjoy-the-world behavior, they can only tolerate about 5 min. of being left alone (e.g., on their play mat, under their mobile, etc.). And when I'm alone with them, it inevitably means that one is fussing since I only have one set of hands, which makes me feel like a horrible mom since I can't attend to my baby's needs. I find that there's little time in a day when I can really enjoy them because so much of my time is spent trying to soothe the one that's not being held or attended to, which also makes me feel guilty.

Anybody go through something similar? At what age did you notice a change in your babies' behavior? Advice?

Thanks!

SoldiersGreenBean · February 2010

The only thing I can tell you is from my limited experience with 1 baby. The first 6-8 weeks sucked, a lot. After that, it got immensely better. But the first 6-8 weeks were all about survivial in our house.

Try not to feel guilty - you do get take 5 minutes to use the bathroom or grab a sandwich. It doesn't make you a bad mom.

I discovered, too, that sometimes they just need to fuss. Like sometimes I just need to vent and b!tch and moan and complain - babies do too.

LMK8605 · February 2010

I remember feeling the same way! fussiness peaks at 6 weeks. It will get better as time goes on, but some days they will still be what I describe as "high maitnenance". We just went through a spell of that ourselves.. ugh, it is no fun!

GL! Hang in there.

jbl126 · February 2010

Hang in there momma. I felt the same way. And it seemed everyone around me had happy babies. In the beginning it seems if they are not sleeping, they are crying. But it will get better, I promise. The first two months are very hard and stressful but they will get easier.

Jenniepenny11 · February 2010

our girls are going through something like that right now, especially between 4 and 7pm. Its awful...lol!

jalaiaa · February 2010

I commented on your post below too. Our babies are about the same age. It is so funny because I could have written both of these posts, so I guess our babies are normal. I'm not really doing the Baby Whisperer but I have read a lot of that stuff. One thing she said is that babies this age really only need 1h to 1h 15 minutes of awake time including eating, activity and calming down and that sometimes babies who are up longer are just over tired and that is why they fuss. I can't say that I have been following that, I've mostly been just trying to survive, but maybe it will help you. Just can't wait, as pps mentioned, for it to get better.

3VIBride · February 2010

Yes. I remember this and it does get better- their stretches of alert and happy behavior will lengthen and you will be able to enjoy them more.

That being said- it will never be easy to know that if both your babies are upset you can only soothe one by picking them up. I still struggle with this at 4 months even though it is more rare now that they both are upset at the same time. I don't see it getting better, I'll never be ok with the idea of one of my kids potentially having to CIO because there is only one of me I think it's just one of those twin mommy things. I just soothe one for ahwhile then switch on and off.

Or- you could wear one in a wrap like the moby and hold the other one, that works sometimes too!

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