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Parenting
So...what do I do at a park with 3 kids?
Yes, Im stirring the S#it and beating the dead horse too. I didnt finish reading all of the replies and had enough.
Yeah, it sucks to be having a fun day at the park and then end up at urgent care because your child got pushed by another child. Its one thing that it happened the way it did. Total accident. Even if the mom was standing there would that have made a difference? By the time she told her not to push she probably would have pushed Bella anyways. It happens, it sucks, but its going to happen.
Now, if Bella was pushed on purpose like by a kid just plain out being mean that would be different. I would then hold that mother accountable.
So, the mom walked away to attend to another child. What do you expect her to do? Grab the other child and go to the other one right then and there? Have eyes in the back of her head?
As a mother of 3 when we go the park it is impossible for me to be watching all 3 at one time. I usually follow the girls since they stay together and are younger (last summer when they just turned 3) than L. But there are times when the girls split up and I have 3 in 3 different areas of the park. 1 on the swings, 1 on the slide and 1 and climbing on something. We have never had any problems at the park and usually arent there when it is crowded. When it gets too crowded we leave.
But seriously what do you(those who judged the mom for walking away from one child to another) expect? Should I just not take my kids to the park since I cant hover over all 3 at the same time?
Im probably overreacting to the post and too sensitive.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So...what do I do at a park with 3 kids?
I find at our park that the hovering moms actually cause more problems than they solve, butting in to the kids worlds. We have one hoverinsky who comes and is always trying to "control" the slide so everyone goes down in perfect rule follow mode. It freaks the kids out and cause them to either leave the area entirely or whine rather than work things out like they normally do.
I am all for paying attention to your kid and making sure he isn't beating someone up, but I think the playground is where kids learn to be kids with other kids. What are they going to do when they go to school with kids who have been in daycare with 18 kids? Do you think 2 teachers are really watching 18 kids closely? Kids need to learn to navigate the playground on their own.
You're not the only one.
I took the kids to open play at MyGym yesterday. Since the weather has been horrid and they were closed for most of the last 2 weeks, the place was a complete zoo. Probably about 40-50 kids + parents in a small space.
DD took to the place like nobody's business... by which I mean my 14 month old was climing up slides from the bottom and diving head first into the ball pit. I was rescuing her from a place that she got stuck. DS, who I took my eyes off of for 30 seconds, managed to push over a little girl with the huge ball they were rolling and landed on top of her. The mom was fussing like he was a freakin' axe murderer. Chill, lady.
Had he hit her over the head with one of the pieces of equipment, yeah, he would have been taken out of there in disgrace.
In the situation below, she didn't say anything, it wasn't apparent that her DD was badly hurt, and I can't imagine that the other mom left thinking "whew, dodged a bullet on that one."
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
really only one or two people were going overboard with the "I'd SUE!!!"
I think most agree that if it was your own child....and the injury was known right away...you'd apologize your @ss off and offer to help in any way possible. That is the right thing to do.
But yeah, accidents happen....and no amount of helicopter parenting can prevent them sometimes. Soooooo--it isn't something to go after someone.
My brother broke his arm playing football..does he sue the parents of the kid who tackled him?
That said....it sort of annoys me that the OP turned into a "sue or not" debate...because it was a post about a little girl in a cast. I still feel bad for her and hope she is doing ok!
I don't care how many kids you have, if you can't properly watch them all at the same time then don't go alone. What would have happened if one of the kids got kidnapped because the mom was 'attending to another child'?
A little shove is one thing, but enough to end up with a serious injury? That's more than a little bump to move out of the way.
Are you serious? Someone is supposed to stay home because she has multiple kids and only one set of eyes and hands?
That is so far beyond ridiculous that I am stunned.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
There is a HUGE difference in not hovering over each child and not watching them properly. When we go the park I know where my kids are. Im watching each of them. Im not always standing beside them to tell them not to hit, push, cut line, take turns etc. Im with one of the other 2 telling them not to do xyz.
A little "bump" can cause a child to fall and cause a serious injury.
A torus fracture is extremely common in kids and yes, it can happen with a little shove.
Your baby is still young enough that she can be held, kept in the stroller, sling, etc. Come back again when she's older. If you can manage to keep 2 mobile independent kids within arms reach and eyes on both kids at the same time, you can win the Parenting MOTY award.
I said they should stay home if they can't properly watch multiple kids. Really, it's not that hard if your kids listen to you. I bring my ds and my niece and nephew all the time. If they don't play in the same area, or listen to me we leave.
Say what you want, it only takes a second for someone to do something awful.
I am not talking about my dd. I take my ds (almost 3), my nephew (4 1/2) and my niece (almost 2) all the time. I don't have a problem. How big are these parks you people go to?
Congrats, then, you're officially better than the rest of us.
If one of my kids got out of control, we'd immediately leave--and we've done it in the past.
Still, it's physically impossible to be with all of them at the same time, within arms reach and eyes on them 100% of the time. The parks we go to aren't huge, but there are several play structures. I know where they are at all times, but I do have to turn my head or eyes occasionally.
I'm w/ grja on watching your kids. You don't have to be in an arm's reach of them, but you should be able to SEE them and see what they are doing.
It's not difficult to tell kids, hey if we're at the park, we stay in the same area or we go home.
I may not have two kids yet, but I nannied/babysat my way through high school and college - I have plenty of experience with taking multiple kids to public places. In fact, one family had 4 very active young boys that I took to the neighborhood pool, regularly. Funnily enough, I found it rather easy to keep an eye on all of them (at a rather large public pool w/ multiple pools) without being a helicopter "parent" and still was cognizant of what they were all doing. You don't have to be on top of your kids to be aware of what they are doing, which I think is the point.
If you can't be aware, yes, you should stay home.
I take my three all the time to the park, I can not always reach and touch all three of them but I try to be where I can see them all, Is there a time that I have to bend over to check on one, push one on a swing or tie my shoe that they could push a smaller child down. Yes it is the park, accidents happen. I always go over the rules when we arrive at the park. If you can not see mommy mommy can not see you. We designate a safe place. If you lose mommy go here, we also go over the no pushing, no pulling, no hitting, no kicking. am I the perfect mom, far from it.
Good for you for being able to watch a almost 2, a three year old and a 4.5 year old without ever taking your eyes off of all three
Yeah, but even when we're aware, it only takes half a second for them to shove. FWIW, my kids just aren't like that, so I'm not being defensive because I have kids that like to shove people. They're actually very well-behaved kids and I haven't had issues of them hitting or shoving before at the park--being so close in age, they both know how to share and deal with other kids well. Still, they're kids--I can't say my child would never shove a child--because they might.
It wouldn't take but half a second for them to get mad and shove a child out of their way, you know? It could easily happen while I was watching.
I take my kids to the park a lot and I do feel like I always know where they are. I guess I can't say that every single solitary second my eyes are simultaneously glued to them though. That would just not be possible. But yes I do know if they are on a slide versus the swing. I am usually just watching versus hovering though. So in theory Owen could knock down a kid while I was looking to see what Natalie's doing.
edited to add that I do know where they are
Exactly, and you could apologize and punish them as necessary.
Sure people miss things in a split second - everyone does, but to act like it's okay is just silly to me. It's not what we strive for, and if I had such a hard time b/c my kids were all over, they'd be staying in the same area.
I just don't agree w/ the idea that well, it happens, so it's okay that I don't keep an eye on my kid at all times. Like it's a sunk cost, just b/c you have multiple kids.
My cousin broke her arm in two places falling off a playstructure about 1 foot high when she was 4- she was not pushed she fell. So yes, a small push, or even an accidental shove as kids run by cancause injury. It happens.
Sorry, I simply DO NOT believe that you can always have your eyes on 3 moving kids. It cannot be done. Do you never bend down to blow a nose, tie a shoe, tend to the baby?? Accidents happen from nowhere, and no one can totally prevent them without wrapping there kid in bubble wrap. I watch my kids, but no I do not have eyes on both 100% of the time, and even if I did they could still get hurt.
And seriously, the kidnapping comment was just stupid.
ITA. This is what annoys me, just because you have more than 1, its not an excuse to let one of them do something to another child.
There was a story here a few years ago. A little boy, 2 or 3 was playing at the park with his parents 'watching' him. The kid fell off, hit his head, and ended up dying. Horrible, freak, tragic accident? Absolutley. But it only takes a second for something horrible to happen. And if you can't honestly make sure you children are playing safe and responsible then don't go alone. What if YOUR child had fallen off and broke an arm, leg, something worse. ANd if your kid does do something, at least say sorry.
And besides, even if you look away or do something, you don't know where your kid was before that and when you look back to where your kid WAS before you looked away, and you see a kid on the ground crying, you don't think "might have been my kid who caused that?" That's what I mean by being aware. Knowing the general area and what your kid was doing before you took your eyes off them. Or knowing who they were playing with? I just don't see how any of this is impossible.
Of course you were mad! I'd still be mad. I'm kind of mad for you! Your poor little girl is stuck in a cast.
And of course this shouldn't be a lawsuit (but I can see why that would be something you'd think in the heat of the moment). Accidents happen no matter how closely you are watching your kids. And kids push even when you're right next to them. And it can happen to someone with 9 kids and to someone with 1 kid.
Why was that stupid? Have you never seen the news when these things happen? it only takes a second. Uncommon? yes, but it still can happen. I'd rather be overprotective than have my kid be a statistic.
I recommend putting at least one, maybe two, up for adoption. LOL.
OK, so I knew exactly where both kids were. DD was at my feet and I saw DS pushing that big ball thing. A howl from DD caused me to look down and retrieve her from the climbing cube. In that second, DS apparently ran into the little girl and landed on top of her.
So I was being negligent and shouldn't leave my house?
If that's the way you think, you need to chill the hell out. And put a big flourescent sticker on your kid's forehead so that I know to keep my unruly spawn away from you.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Stuff like that happens - I'm just saying, wouldn't you be somewhat apologetic? I don't care if kids are being kids, I'm still not going to completely ignore the fact that Jackson may have knocked someone over. He's done that before - and I say, "hey be more careful, buddy, we have to watch where we're going. Can you apologize to Xkid?" Then I say "sorry about that!" really nicely, even if I'm coming over from across the room or having been talking to another mom.
How is that difficult? How is that wrong? How is that being a helicopter parent?
I'm not saying you shouldn't leave your house for that, because that happens. I'm saying if straight up you say "I can never keep an eye on all my kids and be aware of what they are all doing," then yes, you should stay home b/c no one should be okay with that.
I don't understand your point. So the child died in a horrible accident- I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But you yourself admitted that it only takes a second for something to happen. It could have happened with the parent standing right there.
Even when children are playing safely and responsibly accidents can still happen. Are we never to allow them the freedom of playing and exploring for the fear of a bunch of hypothetical what-ifs? What if my child had fallen and broken a bone? Sure, it would be unfortunate, but that's life. And it wouldn't be the end of the world either. Every single thing we do in life has risks- everytime we set foot out of the house we run the risk of falling down the front porch steps, of getting in a car accident, of being struck by lightening, of getting trampled by a herd of escaped zoo elephants...
And yes, of course an apology is always nice. I don't disagree at all.
The main point Im trying to get across. Even when watching your child they can still do something when you are right there that can hurt another child. How many times do we read posts on here that start off like "I was standing right there.."
When we go, I always know where my kids are. Im watcing all 3. Im just not right beside them all. When there are a lot of other kids there I do tend to tell them to stay with me and we do everything together.
For what its worth my kids only push each other. They are pretty good at the park in waiting their turn and playing nice.
If you don't apologize as a parent you are setting a very bad example for your child. And if my child did not apologize then we would leave and not come back until they realized that behavior was unacceptable. Why is this so hard for people to understand?
Well then if that's the case, I think we're all talking in circles here.
I'm saying you should at the least be aware of what your kids are up to, and yes, accidents happen. If you're aware, and it happens, FINE. You apologize, take action, whatever. But to act like it's just a fact that you can't "watch" all your kids at once is bizarre to me. You don't have to be in an arm's reach to "watch" them or be aware of what they are up to.
Of course I would apologize, and remove DS if it was warranted.
But the implication is anyone who said that it's harder to watch more than one kid must be sitting on the sidelines chatting on the phone and having a cocktail. That's clearly not the case, and this whole post is getting stupid.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Wow. I can't imagine living with constant fear of my child being kidnapped in public. I can honestly say that has NEVER been a concern that I've had.
Yes, kidnappings happen. But the likelihood of one of my kids getting abducted by a stranger at a park is so slim that I'm willing to take my chances and let them play without me watching their every single move.
To me, watching your child is knowing what they're doing, where they are, who they're playing with at all times, and if they're behaving. If your child does somthing you should be aware. The proper thing to do is apologize and have your kid apologize. But I still don't understand how its difficult to know what more than 1 child is doing at any given time.
I will stress again that yes it was horrible and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And i'm not saying this is the case in this situation, but some people 'watch' their kids and ignore the fact they're climbing, jumping, doing something they shouldn't be doing. My 2 year old would not be climbing up ANYTHING open where he could possibly fall and/or get hurt. There are desginated areas for different age groups.
Just like how my SIL lets her DD eat an ice pop, standing on a glass table, dancing. I almost have a heart attack every time i'm there. Her motto is "no blood, no worry". Call me overprotective, all it takes is one slip for that kid to crash through a glass coffee table.
seriously...you guys are totally talking yourselves in circles
My beef with this is not about "watching" your child it is actually standing right by your child within hearing distance. I cant be right beside all 3 of them at all times when we go to the park to run and play. Im physically watching them but no im not close enough to touch and talk to them. Make sense? In the OP it seemed like that is what moms are to do. Be there at all times to be the helicopter mom.