usually a lurker with 2 problems/questions (long)

carlynbri · February 2010

As noted in subject, I'm usually just a lurker, but I'm at the end of my rope and need to see if anyone else has been in my shoes..

Problem #1: My LO takes FOREVER to go down for naps. She shows signs of being tired after about 1.5 hrs of being awake. She won't lay down on her own, lay in her bouncer or swing, and needs to be walked. However, when I walk her she fusses and squirms the entire time until she eventually gets tired enough and falls asleep. This whole process usually takes 45 minutes, afterwhich, I am EXHAUSTED! Then she only sleeps for about 30-40 min. (All that work for nothing!) I usually have no problem putting her down for the night - she'll go to sleep around 8:30pm and wake up around 3am and then sleep again until 7am. It's the daytime napping that's driving me crazy. I feel like I can't take her anywhere because she won't put herself to sleep when she's tired and causes such a fuss. Can you recommend (I never know how to spell that word!) your baby sleep book? I've not purchased any baby books but I'm ready to get some professional help on this one!

Problem #2: is actually part of prob. 1. My DD has gotten extremely clingy (new within the past 2 weeks and getting worse). She has started to freak out when anyone else but me or DH holds her. My parents and in-laws have been over frequently recently and she seems to almost have a panic attack if they hold her (or sometimes even get close to her). I want to go out with DH this Saturday but I'm afraid she'll freak out when my mom babysits her. I had my parents over yesterday and had them basically watch her while I stayed in the other room so she could get used to them. It wasn't toooo bad, but when she got tired (problem #1!!) she worked herself up to the point that she was holding her breath between screams. It scared me to death! I am terrified to go out and leave her. I haven't been to the gym in weeks because of this.

I don't know what to do...anybody been here? Please tell me this is just a phase!! My mom says I'm spoiling her by walking her for 45 min. to sleep. Is it time to start a sleep training? I feel like the sleep problem is the root of all the issues.

mrsschwags · February 2010

We have a bouncer that vibrates. We put that in her room and turn on the vibrations. We also turn on soft music on a cd player. We sit behind the bouncer as to not be a distraction and we lightly bounce her bouncer until she falls asleep. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes sometimes 20, but she eventually falls asleep. Just in the last few weeks she has started to take three naps. Usually two are shorter (around 1/2 hour) and one is longer (between 1 1/2 hours and 3 hours). Also, we notice if she is getting really fussy we'll give her a pacificer and that will help her fall asleep for naps too. She still sleeps really good at night in her crib.

With problem #2 I believe this is just a phase. DD cries everytime my mom is holding her. She has also started in the last week to cry everytime my MIL holds her. I think that babies go through a "clingy" phase of just needing their parents. It's what they are comfortable with and what they are used to. They dont' like to be taken out of their comfort zone. That being said, this does not stop us from going on our once a month date night and leaving her with the grandparents or aunt or uncle. We know that she will be okay and will get over it once she "forgets" that we are gone. They may be fussy, but nonetheless the grandparents still love to be with them! This will pass in time.

gaughan258 · February 2010

I could have written this exact post and our LO's are right around the same age... It must be a phase right?

My A to Q 1: ?I read "Happy Child, Healthy Sleep Habits" and it says that babies bodies adjust to night time sleep first during 12-16 weeks, followed a few weeks later by beginning to adjust their day time sleep. ? This sounds like what is going on w/ our LOs. ?It also says that a regular morning nap is what you will see first.

My A to Q2: I have no idea what is going on. ?I thought DD was getting really clingy bc I just went "back to the breast" about two weeks ago. ?I swear she would be perfectly happy to have my nipple in her mouth 24/7. The clingyness has gotten so bad that last night she would not sleep in her bed. ?She would scream unless I would hold her right next to me and feed her off and on. ?(Up until last night, her night sleeping was great. ?Bed around 7-8, up around 2, then sleep till morning.) ?I go back to work next month and feel like she is going to be a terror for whoever is watching her.

I'm not ready to let her CIO and think I will give it another week to see if she grows out of it??

ga-girl-jenn · February 2010

I liked the book "Baby Wise". It has been helpful as a guide. Hang in there! Hopefully, it is just a phase.

lilsunshine · February 2010

Problem #1: i put lo on the bouncer that vibrates close to me and turn on the seahorse. I might have to turn on a few times, but it works most of the time.

Problem #2; I am having the same problem. I posted last night about my MIL telling my husband she cries a lot. Lately she wants me and my boobs only. If you find something that works, please let me know.

SusieQ1982 · February 2010

You can't spoil a baby this young, so don't worry about that!

I personally am not a fan of Babywise. I don't think scheduling a baby like that is what is best for them. I would recommend the No Cry Nap Solution for you since it seems you are uncomfortable with CIO, too.

Does your daughter take a soother? My son has a much easier time falling asleep if he has his soother. We can either lay him down in his PnP and sit with him until he falls asleep or hold him until he does. We don't mind either way. He's only little once so we enjoy the time holding him.

TELove · February 2010

We had similar issues w/ the nap/sleeping at night. We are just now to the point of putting DD down while awake and her falling asleep on her own. I am just now getting to the point where it does not put me in full out panic mode if daycare says she has had a fussy day. I just feel bad for her "teachers" when she has a fussy day, I know what those are like! But the older she gets the easier it gets. I've read tons of books, we ended up using a modified ferber method. It has worked for us so far. Hang in there, it gets better!

blushingbrideoct07 · February 2010

I am thinking that for problem 1 your baby may be over?exhausted. ?Try getting her to nap a bit earlier than 1.5 hour. ?Try after an hour. ?I know I was having problems like that with my LO and it was that she was overly tired when I tried to put her down. ?

GL!?

carlynbri · February 2010

Thanks everyone for encouragement/advice. I think the only thing keeping me sane is that she sleeps well at night. I just ordered a couple books from amazon so I guess I'll read up and try some things and see what works best for me.

Maybe it's luck (or she's just trying to make a liar out of me!!), but I just sat her in her bouncy seat with the vibration and her nuk. I figured she'd fuss if I were carrying her, maybe I'll let her fuss in her seat. So I sat there with her for about 15 min. while she fussed, popped the nuk back in a few times, and bounced her, and voila! asleep! That's better than walking for 45 minutes - although I was getting more exercise that way!

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