Thoughts on a child in the delivery room?

JessMil10 · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
i'll say it. i think it would be totally okay for a kid to be in the room. its birth. not a gory murder movie.

I don't know about you but my room looked like a scene from Carrie.

jk

Some things are just not meant for a child to see... I mean, I'm sure they wouldn't be traumatized by sex. I would just rather not have Brooke see me that way, especially at an age where she can talk about it to other people.

punkfiction_v.3 · February 2010

JessMil10:
punkfiction_v.3:
i'll say it. i think it would be totally okay for a kid to be in the room. its birth. not a gory murder movie.
I don't know about you but my room look like a scene from Carrie.

jk

Some things are just not meant for a child to see... I mean, I'm sure they wouldn't be traumatized by sex. I would just rather not have Brooke see me that way, especially at an age where she can talk about it to other people.

lol i know youre kidding, but maybe thats the difference. the way people are describing their experiences are just not how mine were. "running around, blood and gore, shouldn't see mom in pain!!"

maybe thats why i say this?

JessMil10 · February 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
lol i know youre kidding, but maybe thats the difference. the way people are describing their experiences are just not how mine were. "running around, blood and gore, shouldn't see mom in pain!!"
maybe thats why i say this?

** LOOKED. My fingers have an aversion to tenses and I have an aversion to spell check.

LOL. The mental image of people running around in a L&D room full of blood and gore... oh man. I don't remember much blood and gore but I did have an oxygen mask on for two hours, which DH found pretty scary looking. He even took pictures too prove it.

Syrnyball · February 2010

I personally wouldn't want my child in the room with me. My sister had my almost 3 year old nephew in the room with her when she gave birth to her 2nd. The first thing he said when the rest of the family came in the room to see her and meet my niece was "Mommy pooped on the table". There was momentary silence followed by hysterics. We all still joke about it to this day and he just went of to college...

CelticWife · February 2010

DS can watch a birth when it is his own child or if he decides to be a nurse/doc/perimedic. Other then that, no way.

1) I don't believe a child should witness his parent in pain and bleeding if there is any way to avoid it.

2) If something goes wrong, would you want your child to witness that?

3) When you are in labor, you should be able to focus on yourself and the nwe baby, and not have to worry about your other LO's. (Even if you have another adult present to take care of them, I don't see how you wouldn't worry about them anyway. You are their parent.)

LoriFalce · February 2010

TexasLadyBug:

A 3rd tri lady asked if they knew of a video to help get her five your old son ready to be in the delivery room with her.

I'm thinking "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Holy crap. Um, no, not appropriate at all.

JulyFiveBride · February 2010

DD would be a mess. When I had m/s she sat on the floor in the bathroom with me patting me and saying "s'okay, s'okay..." It really upset her. She came with me to my last two check-ups and wanted to be on my lap the whole time. Can you imagine having a squirming toddler in your lap during labor? ::shudders::

I would say if I had an adult daughter who showed an interest in being there, I'd probably be okay with it. Otherwise, no. My baby brother is only six and I had zero desire to see his birth. I was there within an hour and I was cool with that. I don't really think birth is a spectator sport.

ETA: I don't really care what other people decide to do. I just like privacy during labor. During my labor it was mostly just DH and I, other than a few visitors who stayed <10 minutes. Even the nurse and MW pretty much stayed out of my way other than to check on me every so often and to do monitoring strips. I was way more relaxed that way.

loveumike · February 2010

Not. A. Chance.

CelticWife · February 2010

mrswags05:

I'm sort of with you, at least for an older child, and I honestly think that it is wrong that our society has so isolated childbirth that girls/young women never experience it until they are delivering their own child. How much better prepared might we be if we grew up being with other women while they were laboring, and understanding the natural progression of labor and childbirth?

Historically, for most of the world, children were not present during childbirth. A woman was not typically invited to witness a birth until after she was married. (Thank you ancient Catholicism.)

A women would either have between two and four female relatives with her, and possible a midwife depending on the culture. Men or boys were almost never present because it was "women's business" and it was one aspect of life that women could completely control.

What is sad, though, is that breast feeding is no longer the norm in our society. If we had grown up around it, children wouldn't think anything of it. And we, as adults, would find breast feeding easier because we would have been around many relatives to learn how to do it properly. A breast feeding mother would have much more support from society as a whole.

NicoleWI · February 2010

My experience? Gory and totally inappropriate for a child. Me crying on and off, me vomiting, lots of blood, blowing out catheter, couple scary heartbeat decels on DD...seriously, DH could hardly take it.

lite-bright · February 2010

Nope. Not going to happen. DD screams and cries if I vomit. She gets upset if I have to take her to an OB appointment and get my BP taken. There's no way she'd deal with L&D well.

And I'm also in the situation of having no family nearby, so I get that not everybody can just drop their kids with relatives. We certainly can't. All of ours are out of state except a BIL/SIL who are at least 90 minutes away & not practical as childcare for birth.

My mom is coming out five days before my EDD to be with DD1, and we have some friends lined up as back-up in case DD2 comes earlier than that. Our friends and neighbors have been very willing to help, but it's kind of humbling to have to ask that of someone because it really is a potential inconvenience.

But frankly, with our hospital not allowing anyone under 18 into L&D during flu season anyway, it was either ask for help from people, or go through L&D alone and have DH miss the birth of his second daughter.

lanie30 · February 2010

I don't think any child should be strapped to a chair or locked in a room. I think obviously they should be able to leave if they want/wander around.

But the overreaction on this board makes me giggle.

LoriFalce · February 2010

lanie30:

I don't think any child should be strapped to a chair or locked in a room. I think obviously they should be able to leave if they want/wander around.

But the overreaction on this board makes me giggle.

I have to put Joseph in another room to make a phone call. I haven't gotten to poop by myself in two years. He tried to help me put in a tampon today.

If there is one thing in life I'd like to do without him, I think that would be it.

Not that I'd have to worry about it. Another reason I'm not upset that #2 would have to be a c/s.

Brookie-Cookie · February 2010

my biggest concern would be that my husband would be needing to watch the kid when I needed him to be supporting me. But then again, if you want your kid there you're probably also the type of person who I see on A Baby Story who have 10 people crammed in there and then I would assume your kid would get assigned to someone else.

At 2 no way would I want him in there. At 5, I don't think so either. I don't think I would "allow" it until they were of an age where they could understand what was going on and what could happen and could go pee alone and get themselves a snack and find their way back to us.

Thinking of my own labour experience I don't think any child should have to see their mom go through that.

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