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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Thoughts on a child in the delivery room?
A 3rd tri lady asked if they knew of a video to help get her five your old son ready to be in the delivery room with her.
So what are your thoughts about children in the delivery watching a adult labour? Do you think there is a certain age that a child should be to be able to do this?
Personally I think five years sounds young, but I dont have a five year old. Other then that I just do not want my son to ever see my lady bits that way, lol.
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Re: Thoughts on a child in the delivery room?
Uhhhhh....that would be a big NO for me.
DD gets upset if I seem to be in even a little bit of pain. I can't imagine labour.
MAYBE if you were getting an epidural RIGHT away, but even then...I don't think so.
And why does a child NEED to see that.
amen, sister.
I'm a labor & delivery RN and we do not allow children in the delivery under the age of 16 (unless they are the one giving birth of the father of the baby). In our hospital, iit is just a set rule. They say that children are not emotionally and mentally ready for that kind of experience, there is the sight of blood, the smells, and also seeing a parent in pain is not something that the hospital really recs. Also, they are afraid children will get in the way so to speak. If the father of the baby is busy helping the mother labor, who is going to be watching the child who is walking around the room? Its a sterile environment for the most part and there are many things that need to stay that way for the birth of the infant. I see the hospitals point with some of their reasonings, but other I don't. I guess what I really don't understand is how at 15 they say no but magically at 16 the child is ready to see a labor and delivery!
I was 9 when I saw my sister being born. I really didn't want to be there and was quite bored most of the time. The other part of the time I was either grossed out or scared for my mom.
If I didn't have to have a c-section for future pregnancies, I still wouldn't have my older children in the room with me. It can be scary for them.
What a terrifying experience for a child to have to endure. Husbands have a difficult time watching helplessly as us wives go through that, but a kid!?!?! Irresponsible and selfish in my opinion.
We really don't have too many people in our lives that we want to leave DD with for an extended amount of time, so we considered having her in and out of the delivery room- and just having our family watch her there. However, she and dh came to a dr. appt. with me recently and K started crying when they took my blood pressure. Clearly, she would not be able to handle being in the delivery room. I have no idea what we're going to do.
Honestly, I think it depends on the child and the parents. I don't want DD to be some special part of the day or witness anything traumatic- I just really don't konw if we have another option. But, if some feel it's important for their LO to be there, and they don't think it will be detremental for that particular LO, I'd say it's fine.
IMO that is way too young. I personally would not have any children in the delivery room. We took Charlotte for my ultrasound and she totally freaked out that I was laying on the table and she couldn't be up there with me.
ITA.
Yea, we know that but is a child of that age going to know that? All they see is mommy in pain, lots of blood and people rushing around taking care of her like something is wrong.
Yup. Me too. though I'd be more likely to have her around at a home birth than in a hospital. (My opinions on this have changed)
It's not really about HER. She'd be fine. I just think I'd be worrying about her and concentrating on her and not the birth so much so, I wouldn't necessarily want her there, but I don't see the big deal.
ITA - let's not romanticize childbirth, it is bloody and gory!
Which is why the OP wanted a video to prep her kid.
I don't find birth all that gory. You're not bringing her to a section.
I don't see a big hairy deal. My DCP had her daughter at home (unexpectedly) with her 4 year old on the sofa next to her. When asked about it the little girl said "mommy sat like a bear and then i saw the baby out. I saw its little feet."
Clearly, not traumatized.
I can see that but I think a 5yo would take it differently when its his mom vs. a stranger on a video... KWIM? Its like watching a movie and it not looking real and then having it happen right in front of you.
well im sorry for your horrible birth stories of gore, pain, screaming and it being like a murder movie.
so a baby pops out "bloody" and "ewww"ish. so what?
I've seen a ton of stabbings/shootings/murders on TV and in the movies. If I was to see one in real life, you bet your butt it would traumatize me! I don't think a video tape is going to prepare anyone for the actual event.
I don't see the issue persay, but def. not for me.
My rule is: If you didn't take part in the creation of the fetus, or if you're not a nurse/doctor, you don't get into the room. Period.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
I'm sort of with you, at least for an older child, and I honestly think that it is wrong that our society has so isolated childbirth that girls/young women never experience it until they are delivering their own child. How much better prepared might we be if we grew up being with other women while they were laboring, and understanding the natural progression of labor and childbirth?
I don't know what I think the appropriate age would be, though. My son is two and I don't want him with us when I deliver #2 any day now. He would not understand (though I do plan to labor at home for awhile and we have told him that mommy might cry, hurt, etc, but that I am okay). He would also be difficult to keep track of in a hospital room, without him getting into everything.
I tend to think 5 is still too young, but I'm pretty sure 16 is too old for a cutoff age. Maybe 10-12 range? I don't know...
A stabbing/shooting/murder is not really the same thing as a vaginal birth. At least it wasn't for me; my birthing experience wasn't horrific or gory.
Exactly. Trust me. My parents did all the could to prepare us for my sister's delivery. We read the books, watched the videos, my parents told us what was going to happen and it still wasn't enough. I wasn't traumatized or anything ( you should ask my brother though) but I still do not think I should have been there. It was hard seeing my mom like that and I wished I could have just left. However it was a big freakin deal to my mom that we see the birth, so I never said anything. I just did not want to be there.
But that was just my experience. I am sure some one else might be completely different.
Yes. My son's delivery did not go as expected and things went downhill very suddenly. It was very scary and difficult enough for DH and me to hold it together. It turned out okay in the end, but I would not want to risk DS being exposed to something like that. Not to mention, we would have had the added worry of his emotional well being when we were dealing with an emercengy medical situation.
Having your baby unexpectedly on a couch is a different story entirely. There's not much she could do about that, and thankfully it turned out well, but that little girl was at a much greater risk of panicking over mommy's situation than if she was watching Dora with grandma until afterward.
I wasn't trying to compare homicidal acts to childbirth - just the situation (seeing something on TV/screen vs. real life experience)
I posted about having DD in the delivery with me on 3rd tri to get some opinions (but I'm not the one with a 5 year old). I honestly don't know what we are going to do with her ~ our families live 2000 miles away (and I don't want either staying with us for an extended period to make certain they are there when baby comes). All of our friends work and I would never ask them to take time off of work to watch DD or get her to DC. So, basically our two options are her being there until she gets uncomfortable and DH will take her out, or I will simply have to go it alone for the whole duration.
Try and be a little sympathetic to those of us who don't have family around, so we can't just leave LO with 'auntie or grandma.'
NMS, at all, at any age.
However, my cousin has had 4 homebirths and the older ones are always around for it. I don't judge her for this. But it's not for me, at all.
Some of the few things in life that really scared the crap out of me as a child involved seeing my mother in physical pain. It can be terrifying for a child.