C/S with 2nd baby? Questions for you?

bridetobe101505 · February 2010

So although he could still flip, we have now scheduled the C-section for March 11. ?My OB is doubtful that he will turn in the next 3 weeks, which leaves me pondering so many things.?

When did you have your toddler come visit? Any advice on how to introduce? (He will be staying with my mom while we are at the hospital)

Should he come visit everyday and for how long?

How did you manage not picking him up and snuggling with him? It kills me that I won't be able to lift him up afterwards?

I think I am just starting to feel really guilty about having the second baby. ?My emotions are running high and my stress level with having a C/S is just making things way worse. ?

Any advice is greatly appreciated! TIA. ?

raceyrae · February 2010

Because of flu and H1N1 season, our hospital didn't allow children to visit so DD#1 didn't meet DD#2 until we brought her home. I was only at the hospital though 2 nights (I was surprised given it was a c/s but it was my 2nd c/s so they figured since all looked good, I knew what I was doing so I could go home). I'm actually glad we had DD#1 wait to meet her till we got home. I think she would have had a hard time seeing me in the hospital and having to leave again. Plus, it gave me time to recover a bit more before she wanted to crawl all over me. In general though, once I got home, I still picked DD#1 up. I just used my legs more than before instead of bending over to pick her up or I would come down to her level and give hugs etc. DH carried her etc. as much as possible but sometimes DD#1 just needed me to give her that attention. I just listened too my body and didn't do anything that was too straining.

I felt really guilty right before my c/s too about having a 2nd coming. I cried a lot the few days before just thinking how much DD#1's life was going to change. But DD#1 does so well with her sister and I'm so thankful to have both of them. I wouldn't want it any other way now. Good luck!

HarrietNJMommy · February 2010

I had c/s with all 3. My first 2 were breech.

As for hospital visits, check with your hospital. Some hospitals are not allowing children (even siblings) to visit because of H1N1/flu, etc.

My older child(ren) came each day to visit me. They only stayed about an hour. Kids have a short attention span and hospitals are not fun for kids.....

I picked up my older kid(s) after about a week of being at home. You can snuggle - that's not a problem. Just listen you your body. You shouldn't carry anything for long periods of time, but to just lift your child onto the sofa/bed to hug and snuggle is fine.

Best wishes!

MrsPreK · February 2010

DS came the next day but H1N1 was not a concern at that point (last July) - I was carefully lifting him within a weeks time. I had no choice. I also had an fairly easy recovery and felt great by the 2nd week.

howleyshell · February 2010

Toddler came to visit the second day (my section was in the afternoon - had it been in the early AM we might have had him come that day).

I got gifts for the toddler to open each day he came to the hospital. Things to keep him busy like a big brother book, toy phone, travel magna doodle, etc.

He never stayed more than an hour. He'd get restless.

As for not picking up? I did pick him up. I got down on the floor with him a lot, had him in my lap on the sofa, and by week 2 I was bending at the knees to pick him up. I had to. There was no one else there to do it.

I know they say don't for 2 weeks but I choose to listen to my body and take it slow. I'd done the section thing before and my recovery was actually easier with my second.

Advice for section:

1. Colace and prune juice as soon as you can have them post op. That first BM is a killer. Anesthesia doesn't help the constipation problem.

2. WALK. Get out of bed as soon as possible and move. I didn't do this with my first section and regretted it.

3. Take the meds. There's no brownie points for not taking the drugs. Manage your pain and stay ahead of it so you can be a good Mom to your kids. And - colace and prune juice again to combat the consipation of the pain meds.

I know right now your heart breaks at the thought of being without your toddler. I was really upset at the thought of being without him and only having limited visits for so many days BUT.... it turned out to be a good thing for me/us. I really took that time to bond with the baby.

All I could think about before the baby came was how it was all going to impact the toddler. I cried in the car on the way to the hospital. All I could think about was how much the toddler's life was about to change and the guilt was huge. I was wheeled into the OR thinking about my toddler and wondering if Grandma had been able to get him down for his nap without tears.

The second that baby came out I was just as concerned about how things would impact that infant.

Once you get home you'll be dividing your time ALL the time except overnight feedings so it's nice to cherish those first few days where you can really focus on the baby alone.

shouldbworkin · February 2010

My toddler came to visit the 2nd and 3rd day. He couldn't care less about the baby until he saw DH pick her up at the end of one visit. I did make sure that I wasn't holding the baby when he came in the room and I tried to have it just be the 4 of us, but that didn't work out. It was still fine. He just wanted to explore, so we didn't bother bringing him the 4th day. He was fine with me not being home b/c he had his GPs around to keep him busy.

DS could climb up on the the couch just fine, so if he wanted to cuddle, he came to me. I was already barely carrying him around b/c of my big PG belly, so it really wasn't anything too new. I still picked him up to put him to bed or in the booster or car seat after about a week. I just didn't carry him on my hip.

Telyco · February 2010

I really worried about #1...but he didn't visit me in the hospital, not allowed. So DH went home to tuck him in and my mom was with him the rest of the time. He did awesome. And I wasn't even that upset over not seeing him, as I thought I would be. I was enjoying the rest, the quiet time with DH and my new baby. I cried the second I stepped in the house and saw him, though...haha!

Oh man, please take the advice about prune juice, laxatives, etc. OMG - that was seriously worse that both of the births themselves! I guess after surgery like that your bowels shut down for a while...so if you aren't preparing for it you will have a very painful experience! It was the worst experience of my life.

I was able to pick up DS after a week. I could've done it before that but didn't want to hurt myself.

iowagirl73 · February 2010

DS1 was born vaginally and DS2 was born via emergency c/s. DS1 came to visit the same day DS2 was born. He visited both days I was there (the 3rd day I came home so he stayed there) and only for a short time, maybe 30-60min. As for the introduction, he always pointed to my belly when I asked where the baby was and after he was born we just took him right over to where he was at and said something to the effect of this is your new little brother. As for not picking him up and such, my ILs came and helped with that. They would pick him up and set him next to me on the couch and sometimes in my lap but I think I was picking him up on occasion after a week at home.

mlf625 · February 2010

-DS came to visit me within a few hours of my c/s. He was at the hospital with the grandparents, and when I made it out of recovery and into my room, DH brought him in to meet his baby sister. It was great! My parents brought him up each morning while I was in the hospital, he'd be content to check things out and play for 30 minutes or so, then they'd go when he got antsy. He thought the hospital was so neat, loved going on walks to the ice machine with daddy, and would spend a few minutes checking out the baby and giving me hugs and kisses.

-Not being able to lift DS is seriously the ONLY thing I'm bummed about- I loved my c/s experience otherwise and my recovery has been ridiculously easy. I *so* love rocking DS and putting him into his crib and my mom and DH are having to do that for now because I can't put him into the crib. Other than bedtime, it hasn't been a big deal. I just sit on the floor and he comes to me, or he'll crawl up onto our bed beside me. We're still getting plenty of snuggles!

-The guilt is totally normal, I spent a lot of time feeling guilty and anxious before DD arrived, too. I've found that it's all been a lot smoother so far than I was imagining it to be. DS was happy and content with the grandparents while I was away, and he hasn't skipped a beat now that we're home, either. I don't feel in any way that my c/s recovery has made it harder on either of us (minus the bedtime thing- but he doesn't care, I do!)

Try not to stress. You'll all do great!

bridetobe101505 · February 2010

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I should probably call the hospital to see what there visiting policy is before I have too much of a schedule!

Again--LOVE this board for this very reason! Thanks again!?

snickerdoodle27 · February 2010

When did you have your toddler come visit? Any advice on how to introduce? (He will be staying with my mom while we are at the hospital) My son wasn't allowed to come to the hospital b/c of H1N1.

Should he come visit everyday and for how long? If he was able to come and visit, I probably would have let him come a few times, just for a little while. Long enough to see mommy and the new baby.

How did you manage not picking him up and snuggling with him? It kills me that I won't be able to lift him up afterwards? You can still sit on the couch and snuggle.

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