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biting, hair pulling, etc...
Warner is going thru a phase where he thinks it's fun to pull my hair, grab my face (or any other part of my body) and squeeze as hard as he can, and he has also been biting. and I think he might be freakishly strong, because sometimes it really hurts!
when he bites, it's not like he's biting out of aggression, it looks to DH and me like he's gnawing on us like he does the furniture (lol, he's so weird), so we figure that it's just a teething thing. We always say no quickly and give him something he is allowed to chew on.
for the other stuff--the hair pulling, face grabbing, etc--he just thinks it's a game and I don't think he has any idea that it hurts. again, we always say no, but he just laughs or looks confused then starts again. and it's frustrating b/c sometimes it really seems like he understands "no" and other times it's like he's completely ignoring us.
for now we are continuing with being consistent and saying no and trying to re-direct his focus elsewhere, but it just doesn't seem to be getting better. any suggestions or books you've read that address this?
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Re: biting, hair pulling, etc...
I don't have any advice but DD has started doing the same thing in terms of hair pulling and grabbing my cheeks, nose, chin, mouth, etc. And it does really hurt, especially when her nails get a little too long.
Anyway, I'm interested to see what advice others have because I need to find a way to make her know that this is not okay.
In the same boat! DS has been biting the hell out of my upper arm when I am holding him and he bites really hard. He also loves to grab my nose and pull with all his might, stick his fingers in my mouth and hank at my lower lip and pull my hair.
One tip a friend of mine had for the biting was to pull him off, look him in the eye and say "No biting, kissing" and give him a kiss. I don't know if it is working or not, but I have been trying!
This is going to sound really weird, but I make this sound when the baby does something she shouldn't, it's sort of like a gutteral growly "ehhh" sound. The weird part about it, is that it's the same sound I used to use with my dog when she was a puppy. Instead of saying "no" all the time, I made this sound with the puppy, kind of what I thought a mother dog would "say" when the puppy did something wrong. This is something I learned in dog training class. A non-word, non-verbal message for the dog.
It's hard to describe, but it really works with babies. There is no mistaking what the message is - it's sort primal - but they usually understand. I did this with my DD #1 too when she was a baby. It sort of startles the baby (without scolding the baby) enough to make them stop for a second. Then I say "no, we don't pull hair" or "no biting" or whatever.
DD still does it sometimes! We always say 'no' in a very stern voice, use a different voice than your normal voice. Sometimes I'll say "ou" and make a sad face but it doesn't always help. One time she really bit DH hard and he made a very sad face and she started crying. I think she understood that time that she really hurt him. Like everything else, we just try to be consistent and when she grabs our faces, try to show her how to touch gently, while saying "gently" but it's definitely still a work in progress. From what I read (in WHAT TO EXPECT: THE TODDLER YEARS), it could take weeks or months before a "no" about a certain action/behavior actually works.
We have also started doing time-outs (in a corner, about a minute) for other infractions, such as putting her hands/feet into the dog food/water bowls. She'll point to it, say "no" and then still do it!
It's funny, I do this instinctively too with DD because that's what my dog trainer taught me and I used to do that with my dog. The theory of it makes sense to me. So, I may start using it as well as saying no.
It's funny, I do this instinctively too with DD because that's what my dog trainer taught me and I used to do that with my dog. The theory of it makes sense to me. So, I may start using it as well as saying no.
Our strategy (even back when DS was less than a year old) was to briefly "separate" from Zach when he did something unacceptable. By that, I mean telling him no, and placing some distance between me and him so that he can't do it again/make it a game. For instance, if he were in his exersaucer and pulled my hair, I would say "no pull", remove his hand, step away, and remove my attention from him briefly by looking away.
DS still does these things and when he does we do the same as above. I talked with the pediatrician about it at his 18 month appt. and he said the behaviors will continue for awhile but to keep either using redirection or seperating and ignoring him.
My DD is 19 months and is still doing this. A lot. I do what everyone else has suggested, but I think we have a long way to go before this behavior changes.
I don't know if it's doing any good, but someone recommended a series of books to us. We read "Hands are Not for Hitting," and "Teeth are Not for Biting," on a regular basis. DD actually chooses them for us to read to her. They're really simple and very repetitive, but she seems to like them so we just keep reading them over and over. I figure at some point some of it has to sink in a bit. Obviously these are geared for babies that are a bit older, but I thought I'd mention them anyway.
this whole posts makes me feel better! DD thinks it is hysterical to pull our hair, stick her fingers up your nose or slap your head or cheek. It really hurts but the problem is her laughing is so funny that it takes every ounce of strength not to laugh at her.
Once i can get her hand out of my hair/nose- I say 'no' and put her down. However, it does not seem to be working.