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DH issues, sexy time..advice

Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Ugh, I am feeling awful this morning and the fight went thru the night and just exploded. To start I have almost 0 sex drive, I think its a combo of the IUD and BFing, I know i need to make more of an effort. However I have also voiced to DH that I NEED him to make more of an effort to get thigns going "you wanna" won't cut it. I knew he was expecting something last night because he "gave up" golfing to go shopping to try andf help me find an outfit to L's baptism. Anyways we got things going but before anythign happened L woke up and I had to go settle him. When I got back DH was snoring so I just said "I guess its over?" and he got all mad saying I should have just initiated etc. Anyways after an arguement I just went to bed upset. This morning it started again, there is major tension I lost it when he snapped at L for  makign a mess while eating, like for real DH.

So he stormed off to his interweb world of XBOX. What should I do? I know we need to talk, when I am less upset, which won't be anytime soon since now I am alone with L trying to clean, get the ready for the day etc.

Overall I know I need to make an effort but I feel like he SHOULD initiate and he should include lots of foreplay thats what I need and is it really that awful for him to have to do that?!

The other thing is (totally flamable and awful) I love DH so much but I don't find him as attractive. He has really let himself go. He often doesn't shave, he has gained a lot of weight, and jsut doesn't try. He eats like crap won't work out. I am not perfect AT ALL but I am trying hard. TIA

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Re: DH issues, sexy time..advice

  • katielnkatieln member
    awww...I can relate and it sucks.  I don't have any answers because I'm still trying to figure out how to get that lovin' feeling back myself.  I think my DH and I are just stressed out and so we snip at each other and then I'm in no mood for sex because of all that and blah blah blah.  We haven't had a date night since DS was born.  That might help.  I'm not feeling my most attractive right now which also isn't helping.  Hopefully we'll both figure it out sooner rather than later. 
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  • FirefightersBrideFirefightersBride
    It is hard to get the sexytime going sometimes...I know! As far as the initiating...DH does it a lot, but sometmes i feel like i need to. And this is probably going to sound bad, but sometimes i really am not i the mood, but i initiate it anywa and that actually helps to put me in the mood for a few days afterwards. As far as the not being as attractive, maby say, Hey...i'll make more of an effort to initiate the sexy time if you can shave? I would also mention to him that, if you initate, you expect some of the same from him. I'm having the same issue of forplay with my DH...as in there really isn't any. GL!
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  • meryltheresameryltheresa
    I feel your pain.  Date nights help DH and I when we get in a rut.  Have you tried to include DH in your dieting and excercise?
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  • Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member

    imagemeryltheresa:
    I feel your pain.  Date nights help DH and I when we get in a rut.  Have you tried to include DH in your dieting and excercise?

    Yes I do, he's just not there. We both have always struggled with our weight and doing it together has always helped in the past but right now i am hopeing my efforts encourage him.

     

    I know i just need to do ti and I know I will get int he mood once we get things going. I almost feel like its like makign a point now....I need to get over it I guess.

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