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Polite way to invite another parent's child on your vacation?

CanadianGurlCanadianGurl member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
DH and I and our son (will be 2 in August) have a few family vacations planned for the upcoming year and would really like to invite my uncle's son to come along. My cousin will be 11 years old this coming September, and with such an age gap between us, I feel much more like his aunt than his cousin, and I've always treated him so, taking him out to do things together every few months. While I'm close to his son, I'm not as close to my uncle now, they live an hour away and we don't see each other very often. But my cousin is so appreciative whenever we do things together and I take him out, and he is very well behaved. My uncle cannot afford to take him on vacations, he's a single dad with a very tight budget. Is it weird for me to invite my cousin to come along on family vacations with me, DH, and DS to places like Disney, cruises, tropical vacas, etc., (at our expense)? I wonder about making him feel uncomfortable about us offering to pay for him, and him not being able to come, just his son....is there a polite way to ask my uncle if we can take his son without making him uncomfortable that we would be paying for it? Should I lie and say we're using our air miles to make him feel better about it?
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Re: Polite way to invite another parent's child on your vacation?

  • J+OJ+O
    I wouldn't lie.  You could always say it's part of his birthday present/christmas present or whatever you want to tie it to... it might make your uncle feel a little better.  Honestly, I don't think he'll be upset... he might be a little sad he can't afford to do it but I'm sure he'd want him to explore and be able to travel if the opportunity arises and just the over all best for him.

    If he does say no, I wouldn't automatically tie to being upset either... some parents are just a little strict when it comes to traveling without their guardian. 


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  • amstepamstep member

    I would just be honest and say how much you enjoy his company, and you and DH would love for him to join you guys on vacation this year.  End of story.  If they offer to pay, just nicely say that's not a problem, you have made arrangements where that's not necessary.

    We have taken BIL's children with us to the beach a few times, and we honestly just enjoy them so much, the make the trip extra fun for us!

    We definitely do a temporary guardianship agreement that has all their medical information and insurance info on it (Nolo.com sells a DIY kit, or you could get an attorney to draft one, shouldn't be very expensive at all).  We've never had to use it, but it makes everyone feel better in case there would be a need for medical attention.  Otherwise, their parents' just send some spending money for the kids (I spend more on them, but I let the kids have that as "mad money" to choose how they spend it).  

    The first year we took them, we taught both to swim (they were 5 and 7) and just introduced them to things they'd never be able to do if they didn't have us.

    Good luck, and I think you might be over-thinking the situation.  Just ask, say you enjoy his company, and then deal with any questions, hesitations if they come up!

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