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Stay at Home Moms
EveryNameIWantIsTaken
member
Reasons I love being a sahm
EveryNameIWantIsTaken
member
As I am now a month into the whole sah thing, I figured I can now make a fair judgement of it. I never really enjoyed being a wm but I love being home for more ways than I can count. I am a better mom and wife. I want to spend more time with ds because I am not fried all the time. The thought of my dh touching me no longer sickens me because I have more down time and am not always exhausted and just want to go to sleep (sad, but that's how it was). My house is cleaner. Ds is a happier and better child now. I am closer with my sister because we can now bond over something. I am not a nag anymore. I won't miss anymore milestones that would have happened while at daycare.
I know I've seen this post before, but what makes you love being a sahm?
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Re: Reasons I love being a sahm
I agree with everything you said.
I love not having to rush. I've been a SAHM from the start so I can't compare.
We do playgroups, storytime, etc during the day. Therefore there is no need to rush to jam a million things into a weekend or after hours. Its a much more sane pace of life as compared to others I know who are working and raising little ones.
I am sure it will get more hectic as he grows up and there is school and afterschool stuff, but right now we are enjoying this nice easy pace.
I am going to break my answer into categories:
ME: I feel that I have gained confidence as an individual. Prior to SAH, I didn't realize how much I "needed" my career to give me kudos and a feeling of accomplishment. When that was taken away (so to speak) and the world saw me as "just" a SAHM-- no flashy titles or clothes-- I had to really look inside and find my true value. Now, more than ever, I feel that my husband and child really get to see ME for who I am-- day in and day out. It makes me a better mother and wife. And spills into every other area of my life. I just feel really content now. I feel that I am ALWAYS in the right place, at the right time.
DD: I have worked hard to give DD experiences that enrich her life socially and intellectually. New experiences, textures, smells, vocabulary, people, places, etc. But I really feel that giving her a true constant in her life-- emotional stability as a child will benefit her the most in the long run. I have loved being here to respond & decipher each coo, cry, and giggle. I feel that we are learning so much about each other and that will spill over into the relationship we build throughout her childhood & adult life. I love seeing what makes her excited, what makes her scared or worried, and how proud she is to gain new skills. I really love watching her learn and explore the world-- how special to witness these special beginnings w/ the life I nurtured and brought into the world. *sighs*
DH- It has really increased not only my bond with her, but also DH's bond. He loves hearing (in great detail) about our day and all the new things she did. He enjoys reviewing videos and pictures that I take during the day. There are things that I take note of that NOBODY, besides a parent/grandparent?, would care about. Additionally, he is able to spend more one-on-one quality time with DD because the household stuff is taken care of (not maticulously, but good enough). And further, more couple time. We are both more relaxed with this arrangement.
I could go on and on....
I've learned that being a SAHM can be as stressful or as wonderful as you want it to be.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Laugh it off.
And read "Happy Housewives" by Darla Shine. I pick it up every few months or so and it's a very easy and fun read! It teaches you to enjoy this once in a lifetime job and how to bond with your hubby, your home, and yourself.
When my kids drive me crazy (especially the toddler...he's a complete maniac right now), I close my eyes and imagine what our morning routine would look like if I worked full-time.
5am: wake up, rush to get dressed.
6am: wake up the boys, get them dressed.
6:30am: leave for work (I was a JH teacher, so school began very early). DH would have to take them to daycare, which would affect his morning routine, too.
And yes, I'd get home earlier than most other working parents, but waking up at 5am would leave me so exhausted that I'd have to go to bed by 9pm. That doesn't leave any time for myself or DH and I after putting all the kids down. And all the household chores, laundry, shopping, etc. would take up any free time we had.
So while SAH isn't always sunshine and roses, it beats the stress of working FT and trying to juggle family and household responsibilities.
I just love being able to take it slow and do what I want. Today we ran out to Target early (you know, snowstorm coming - I am a lunatic who needs to stockpile, lol!) and then we're just taking it easy and snuggling the rest of the day. Jude has been ultra-clingy the past few days (getting some teeth) so it's nice to just be able to drop everything and hold him awhile.
I love being able to do what I want everyday and I am totally a better wife since I had my son. I have been a SAHM from the start so I can't compare what I'd be like as a WM but I'd imagine I wouldn't have much time for cooking and cleaning (two things I really enjoy doing!) and it makes me happy to have the time to do it!
I love that I just spent an hour giving DS a bath, putting lotion on him, making silly faces and "flirting" with him and now he's down for a nap (i.e. time to bump and get things done). I know bathtime wouldn't be so fun, or long and drawn out, if I was in a rush to get it done and get him to bed on time at night.
Just one of the many things....
I agree with you. I actually still work PT, but it's because I kind of want to. I was a FT working mom until he was about 14 mos old and it sucked. I was so rushed and stressed. I do feel I'm a much better mom these days as I am way more patient. I feel SOOOO blessed that I get to be there for him most days (I'm only away from him 2 days a week and he LOVES his daycare)--so it's a win win really.
I will confess---being home with him is WAY more work than being in the office.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
I was asked the same question 3yrs ago by a friend contemplating becoming a SAHM. Here is my answer...I reposted it on my blog so I still had a copy of it:
It was really hard for the first year or so--I guess because I sort of still held on to my *old* self rather than embracing what I was doing at the moment. Now nearly 3 years later I have grown to really love it. It is even more fun & rewarding once your kid is a little older (toddler)--you see how easily they are influenced & know that they learned what they have because of you. I have never, not even once, dreaded waking up in the morning--I used to all the time when I worked in my profession. I don't long for the weekends all week anymore, I don't dread Mondays--everyday is fun. Our activities are totally up to me--it is real freedom in a way I didn't have working. Somedays we stay home & play in the backyard, somedays we go to the Mall & out to lunch, somedays we meet other Moms or do group activities--It is totally up to me--We aren't really obligated to do anything we don't want to. If one of us gets sick it's no big deal. Sure we make commitments, but it's not like work where if we miss it, we won't have money to eat or we will get fired. If we are tired we can all snuggle up in my bed & nap. When we take walks, we have time to stop & smell the flowers. I rarely feel like I *should* be doing something else. I enjoy my kids company--even when Winnie is being a pain, I don't wish she was somewhere else away from me. I love the piece of mind I have knowing what they are doing at pretty much every minute of almost everyday (I do other things w/out them but only a few hours a week). I don't get sad or anxious w/ worry (well hardly ever). I love that I can take a Ceramics Class, go out to dinner or do a Bible study in the evening & feel good about leaving the kids, not guilty because I was already gone from them all day. I love that I am sure I will look back at this time & know I wouldn't have done it differently. I love that I didn't/won't miss a first anything. I love knowing that pretty soon my kids would rather play/hang w/ friends than me but in the few years where their Mommy is *it* in their eyes I soaked it up. I love that we spend the weekends doing fun stuff, not errands & running around since I can take care of that during the week. I love that I actually look forward to making dinner. I love that all 3 of his girls are looking out the window & so excited when my husband comes home at night (I know he likes that too). I love that I can watch Oprah when it's a good topic--LOL! I love that I can surf the web while I nurse my baby & don't feel guilty because I am getting paid. I love that no one is ever looking over my shoulder. I love that I can go visit my family or take vacation whenever I want. I love seeing my big girl swimming, tumbling & playing soccer w/ other kids & seeing how much she has evolved into a little person & how quickly it happens. I love being able to go places like the Zoo on a Tuesday in winter & have barely anyone else there! I could go on & on...Sure we have sacrificed some material things & no I am not advancing my career but to me, it's something I just know I won't regret.