Choices

doozer1345 · February 2010

Anyone not doing IVF, and/or any other form of "helping things along?" DH and I have decided to not do anything such as art. insem.,etc. The farthest we'll go is Clomid if we need to. Anyone else in this boat??

For me, I just feel like I'd be forcing it. If it comes down to there's no other way, we've decided that will be a sign that we are meant to adopt.

gymnst1013 · February 2010

Anything and everything here.

PDXGal7868 · February 2010

Yep.

Amanda705 · February 2010

**Papps**:
Nope. If it comes down to it we'll do anything

Ditto

SkyBee · February 2010

We have decided that D-IUIs will be as far as we go. We don't want to do IVF, but we are lucky because as far as we know, our infertility is MFI only. It is more because of finances than any thing. If we had enough money, we would probably try IVF but we just can't.

jc51723 · February 2010

I would LIKE to say that we would do the same as you and take it as a sign we are meant to adopt, but we would probably do whatever it took. I hope to never get to that point though!

How long have you been trying? I think your decision (if it comes to that, I hope not) is very admirable, BTW. There are so many kids out there who need loving parents

Mrs.PinkPearls · February 2010

We are going to do whatever it takes.

loloindiego · February 2010

gymnst1013:
Anything and everything here.

this. And honestly you guys may change your mind if you're actually facing that decision. When we were only a few months in to ttc DH said he'd never want to do IVF. Now he's completely changed his mind and is on board if it gets to that point.

RileyGrace · February 2010

How long have you been trying?

You're certainly intitled to your own opinion, but your opinion might change once you've been trying for a while and/or if you get a specific dx.

RileyGrace · February 2010

loloindiego:

gymnst1013:
Anything and everything here.

this. And honestly you guys may change your mind if you're actually facing that decision. When we were only a few months in to ttc DH said he'd never want to do IVF. Now he's completely changed his mind and is on board if it gets to that point.

Great minds, Lolo. I just said the same thing.

It's very hard to say what you'd actually do until you are facing the actual decision.

LadyXaverian · February 2010

We haven't had that discussion yet. We're not that far into our TTC journey. My initial thought is that I would go the adoption, but DH and I haven't talked about it. Also, like lolo said, I think that I'll have to "be there" before I can say for sure one way or the other.

scherpha · February 2010

At this point, we will try meds and IUI. We don't plan on doing IVF - both for financial and mental reasons.

My sisters both went through IF treatments. One was able to get KU with IUI. The other on her second round of IVF. The first round was really hard on her both mentally and physically - I don't think that I am up to that.

To each their own! Best of luck to you!!

SimoneSays22 · February 2010

DH and I haven't even discussed that yet. Is that bad? We are only on our second month TTC, so it hasn't come up at all. I think that we would do everything to conceive. But it's hard to project how I'll feel and the decision I'd make until I'm actually in that situation.

NurseMommy458 · February 2010

We'll do whatever it takes. I WILL be a mom one day.

SkyBee · February 2010

SimoneSays22:
DH and I haven't even discussed that yet. Is that bad? We are only on our second month TTC, so it hasn't come up at all. I think that we would do everything to conceive. But it's hard to project how I'll feel and the decision I'd make until I'm actually in that situation.

No that is not bad! It is good that you don't HAVE to discuss that yet! Hopefully you get a BFP before anything like that is even a thought!

doozer1345 · February 2010

jc51723:

I would LIKE to say that we would do the same as you and take it as a sign we are meant to adopt, but we would probably do whatever it took. I hope to never get to that point though!

How long have you been trying? I think your decision (if it comes to that, I hope not) is very admirable, BTW. There are so many kids out there who need loving parents

2 plus years

doozer1345 · February 2010

SimoneSays22:
DH and I haven't even discussed that yet. Is that bad? We are only on our second month TTC, so it hasn't come up at all. I think that we would do everything to conceive. But it's hard to project how I'll feel and the decision I'd make until I'm actually in that situation.

No. That's not bad, we're 2 plus years into it. Waaayyy to early for you. I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. GL to you. I'd say wait a couple of years before you have that talk.

loloindiego · February 2010

doozer1345:
jc51723:

I would LIKE to say that we would do the same as you and take it as a sign we are meant to adopt, but we would probably do whatever it took. I hope to never get to that point though!

How long have you been trying? I think your decision (if it comes to that, I hope not) is very admirable, BTW. There are so many kids out there who need loving parents

2 plus years

Have you seen an RE yet to see if there's any issues?

I've been trying for 16 months and they haven't found a thing wrong with me. So, maybe I'm just being stubborn because there's no reason in my mind why I can't get pregnant.. so one way or another, I'll get there. We've also talked about adoption though (but through the foster system) and it's something we'd consider regardless of whether we can have our own biological child or not.

youngin12 · February 2010

We will do whatever it takes.

mchupie · February 2010

RileyGrace:

How long have you been trying?

You're certainly intitled to your own opinion, but your opinion might change once you've been trying for a while and/or if you get a specific dx.

I was just about to say this. Hopefully you won't need to do IUI or IVF, but if it comes to it, you might think differently.

Mrs.Umm · February 2010

We will do everything we can.

That being said, we are trying to save up right now, so we don't end up bankrupt from the process. We may get to the point where we have to decide between affording to have a child and affording to raise a child.

RileyGrace · February 2010

doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

UMichGirl · February 2010

I have found my opinion has changed over time. When we first started TTC I wouldn't say I was *against* infertility treatments, I just didn't think we'd need them. As months went by, I began to think about them...nothing sounded appealing but I just hoped we wouldn't need them. We reached the point where we realized we needed help and started seeing an RE, and now that we're pushing 18 months TTC (we're on cycle 20) I'm open to just about anything.

Nicole0012 · February 2010

RileyGrace:
doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

Out of curiousity... how much does IVF cost on average? What about IUI?

ToshaGirl · February 2010

This topic always drives me a bit nuts. I say the same thing every time this comes up:

I find it very curious that people can have a firm opinion on something they've yet to face.

Predicting the future is so odd to me. I've seen countless people change their tune when really faced with decision time.

gymnst1013 · February 2010

nvandersommers:
Out of curiousity... how much does IVF cost on average? What about IUI?

My IUI was $700 all told. And I'm completely OOP. My RE has a cost sharing program for IVF - I forget exactly how much it is but it's something like $25K which includes 3 or 4 fresh cycles and an FET with each fresh cycle. If you don't get a take home baby at the end of all that, you get your money back. And I think you may get some of it back if it works the first time. The range in cost can vary wildly though.

krayola99 · February 2010

I think it's just personal preference for everyone. Eg. Some people are pro-vaccinations and some are anti-vaccinations. IUI's and IVF's can be seen as more invasive procedures, and I can see how some people could be anti-IUI/IVF.

Personally, I think DH and I are the "will do anything" boat, including adoption, if/when we get there in a few years.

MrsHteaching4life · February 2010

We haven't talked too much about it yet. However, I mentioned that I didn't want to put our lives through all that stress and my body as well. That being said, it's so easy now to say that, because we are just starting. When it comes down to it, I might be willing to do whatever I can to get a nugget in there!

HannaB · February 2010

I actually think it's smart to discuss it early, so that you can feel out your partner. Sometimes spouses have radically different positions, and I was of the mind -- let's talk this out while it's hypothetical and not colored by that emotion, longing, disappointment and frustration that come with extended TTC.

RileyGrace · February 2010

nvandersommers:
RileyGrace:
doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

Out of curiousity... how much does IVF cost on average? What about IUI?

It completely depends. I've got IUI coverage, so it'll cost about $250 each time for copays. IVF for us would be around $8-12K. Adoption can be up to $25K.

BetchySprout · February 2010

CathyMD:
This topic always drives me a bit nuts. I say the same thing every time this comes up:

I find it very curious that people can have a firm opinion on something they've yet to face.

Predicting the future is so odd to me. I've seen countless people change their tune when really faced with decision time.

A wise wise woman, as usual.

ETA: Since we already have one bio child, I think if it came down to it, we might do IUI (and anything before that our doctor recommends) but I don't think we could ever afford IVF and it isn't covered by our insurance. We would like to adopt someday, second bio child or not. And since it hasn't come down to it, we won't know until we get there. I have a friend who was 100% against fertility drugs...until she couldn't get pregnant after her m/c. She recently had a pair of twins via donor eggs. NEVER did she expect to go down that road, but she has two beautiful girls now.

krayola99 · February 2010

"It completely depends. I've got IUI coverage, so it'll cost about $250 each time for copays. IVF for us would be around $8-12K. Adoption can be up to $25K."

We have friends who adopted 2 kids from Russia and it was about $40K+ for each.

HannaB · February 2010

krayola99:
"It completely depends. I've got IUI coverage, so it'll cost about $250 each time for copays. IVF for us would be around $8-12K. Adoption can be up to $25K."
We have friends who adopted 2 kids from Russia and it was about $40K+ for each.

Russia is the most expensive Int'l adoption program, FWIW.

Camok87 · February 2010

We are pretty new to the TTC journey (6 months) so I can't say we've really had that discussion. I would assume we would do whatever it takes though, well, as financial possible.

Mrs Carrillo · February 2010

I used to think that .... now that I'm still not KU, we've decided we will try anything.

MrsHteaching4life · February 2010

HannaB:
krayola99:
"It completely depends. I've got IUI coverage, so it'll cost about $250 each time for copays. IVF for us would be around $8-12K. Adoption can be up to $25K."
We have friends who adopted 2 kids from Russia and it was about $40K+ for each.
Russia is the most expensive Int'l adoption program, FWIW.

I have worked with a few children adopted from Russia. They def. had a lot of issues.

krayola99 · February 2010

Oh, I did not know that Russia was the most expensive program. Actually, yes - our friends did have issues with their babies when they brought them back to America. Things like dependency, behavioral and anxiety issues that they did not expect to have.

doozer1345 · February 2010

RileyGrace:
doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

The surgery was a need b/c i was gettig so sick from getting pregnant b/c the baby was going in the deformed side of my uterus and getting stuck. It was a plus that it possibly fixed me.

Whitney0708 · February 2010

doozer1345:
RileyGrace:
doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

The surgery was a need b/c i was gettig so sick from getting pregnant b/c the baby was going in the deformed side of my uterus and getting stuck. It was a plus that it possibly fixed me.

huh? Did you have a bicornuate uterus or an ectopic pregnancy? I'm lost with your description.

doozer1345 · February 2010

Whitney0708:
doozer1345:
RileyGrace:
doozer1345:

I just had surgery to "fix" my problem. I just have days sometimes where I feel like just giving up. We want our own kids, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.

In my opinion, you having surgery to "fix" your problem is the same as me having IUI to "fix" my problem. And in my opinion, IUI is significantly less invasive than surgery or even meds (which I need as well.)

IVF is very invasion and expensive, but from my research I've found that IVF would be less expensive for me then adoption would be. So why wouldn't I spend the money on IVF if that's what it takes.

Not trying to say you're wrong or change your opinion, but that's how I see it.

The surgery was a need b/c i was gettig so sick from getting pregnant b/c the baby was going in the deformed side of my uterus and getting stuck. It was a plus that it possibly fixed me.

huh? Did you have a bicornuate uterus or an ectopic pregnancy? I'm lost with your description.

Sorry, I have a unicornus uterus. Before we found this out, I was getting really sick for months at a time and couldn't figure out why. We finally got to the doc we're at now, and he found that I had the deformity and saw that the reason I was getting sick is b/c the baby was going into the bad part of my uterus. My uterus was trying to purge it, but b/c of the severity of the deformity it couldn't get out. My body then turned the baby (which was not at all formed much) into bacteria giving me a horrible infection in my uterus. The doc got all the scar tissue, etc. out with the surgery and opened it up a bit more so ill have a better chance at the egg going into the good side since both fallopian tubes and ovaries are both working..sorry for the vagueness...

rvandiver0705 · February 2010

I think how you feel about adopting will really help you make that decision. I am adopted, and I have Crohns...which was not marked in my family history. When I got sick, it tooks years to figure out what was wrong, and I still have issues with doctors every time we move (everyone wants to "prove it to themselves")

At this point I feel like I would honestly "do" anything to try to have my own biological child, but there may be a point where I can't physically handle it, so adoption may be in the cards. I do know that DH doesn't think it would be the best thing for us to adopt, b/c I would be so worried that our children could get sick like I did.

Just an FYI...I feel so blessed that the people who adopted me are my parents. I adore my family, and I have no urge to even look for my birth parents. My brother and I may not have our parents (or each other's) genes, but we are one of the closest families that I know, and I have never wanted for anything emotionally, physically, or even spiritually. People even say I look like my parents, which is hilarious since I have light brown hair and blue grey eyes, while they are SUPER Jewish looking (and sounding Stick out tongue ).

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