NBR: a friend needs help with engagement ring

rinny25 · February 2010

A mutual friend of DH's and I put a down payment on a ring for his gf. His GF and I are close and talk all the time. She is not a jewelry person, wearing earrings can be a stretch for her at times. She does not own any rings and he asked me to find out her size. I've come up with all of the obvious suggestions for him such as mentioning to her, can you get sized so when I begin to look for your ring I can have the right size. He doesn't want to do that because he's afraid he'll tip her off.

Well, today we're talking on gchat and she says to me "I think BF is proposing to me on Valentine's day." Me "why" and she goes into this lengthy reasoning. Well, I was able to tell her to stop reading into everything and to not get her hopes up etc.

My question is, how do I now bring up the ring size thing without making her more suspicious? Her BF does know we had this conversation today and he is not planning a Valentine's day proposal since the ring won't be ready.

I'm open to ideas and suggestions, thanks!

sassafras007 · February 2010

He can always buy it and size it later...

rinny25 · February 2010

sassafras007:
He can always buy it and size it later...

I did suggest that and something with the way he designed the ring and the jeweler and the jeweler needs the size. He didn't get into specifics.

sleepingbeauty825 · February 2010

Most rings are a size seven unless custom made. Size seven is the average woman's finger size. Why doesn't he propose with the stock size, and size it after? I'm a good guesser, if you know her body type (I'm the manager of a jewelry store).

urbanwifey · February 2010

"Does your BF even know your ring size? Usually when they ask you for your ring size it's a tip off..."

"Oh, I don't know I think he knows.... bla bla."

"My DH thought my ring size was ___ but he was way off! I know my fingers look like a ___ but they're not! They're a ___! You look like you'd be a ___ but you might be a ___."

Maybe she'll give up the info... maybe if she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry she doesn't even know...

GL!

rinny25 · February 2010

sleepingbeauty825:
Most rings are a size seven unless custom made. Size seven is the average woman's finger size. Why doesn't he propose with the stock size, and size it after? I'm a good guesser, if you know her body type (I'm the manager of a jewelry store).

She's about 5'3, petite all over. Fingers are skinny/narrow and long but not oddly long for her body size (make sense?) This is a custom ring, the BF designed it.

lesalia217 · February 2010

urbanwifey:
"Does your BF even know your ring size? Usually when they ask you for your ring size it's a tip off..."

"Oh, I don't know I think he knows.... bla bla."

"My DH thought my ring size was ___ but he was way off! I know my fingers look like a ___ but they're not! They're a ___! You look like you'd be a ___ but you might be a ___."

Maybe she'll give up the info... maybe if she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry she doesn't even know...

GL!
awesome idea!

rinny25 · February 2010

lesalia217:
urbanwifey:
"Does your BF even know your ring size? Usually when they ask you for your ring size it's a tip off..."

"Oh, I don't know I think he knows.... bla bla."

"My DH thought my ring size was ___ but he was way off! I know my fingers look like a ___ but they're not! They're a ___! You look like you'd be a ___ but you might be a ___."

Maybe she'll give up the info... maybe if she doesn't wear a lot of jewelry she doesn't even know...

GL!
awesome idea!

Thanks for the ideas, I'll give them a whirl! I'm just afraid if I bring it up now she'll be even more suspicious!

sleepingbeauty825 · February 2010

rinny25:
sleepingbeauty825:
Most rings are a size seven unless custom made. Size seven is the average woman's finger size. Why doesn't he propose with the stock size, and size it after? I'm a good guesser, if you know her body type (I'm the manager of a jewelry store).
She's about 5'3, petite all over. Fingers are skinny/narrow and long but not oddly long for her body size (make sense?) This is a custom ring, the BF designed it.

I hope it's not a tension set, otherwise he will have to get an exact finger size. I'd say she prob wears a five or close to. I Ike the PP's suggestion too, but it may be that she doesn't know her size. Most rings ARE sizeable, at least +/- a size.

ArmyWife123 · February 2010

DH had mine custom made and we had it sized afterward. prior to that i had no idea what my ring size was.

and btw- im 5'4 and usually about 100lbs and my ring size is 5....

JhawkCE · February 2010

Why don't you try getting her to put your ring on with the old, look how bloated my pregnant fingers are blah, blah, your fingers are so skinny look how big my ring is on your finger and then make her put it on. At least you'll know if she needs a bigger or smaller ring than you.

cathylynn1213 · February 2010

I like the idea of getting her to try yours on. Maybe joke around about him proposing, and 'practice' with your ring. Then you'll see if it's too big/too small, and be like-- "wow, my ring is big on you! What size do you wear", or similiar for your ring being too small.

due 01/25/10 · February 2010

What you could do if you have the time to [this happened with me and my friends] is go to like a mall where they have the jewelry shops and pretend to look for a ring for yourself [bring her with you, maybe go to lunch or something] and then suggest she looks at rings and be like "do you even know your size, you might want to know in case your boyfriend does ever want to propose and he asks you for it".. they'll have the ring sizer right there in the store and just have her figure out her size that way.. because chances are she doesn't even know her ring size.. I didn't know mine I thought I was an average 7 but I ended up being a 6 when I got sized..

FemmeNat01 · February 2010

1. I would either suggest her trying on your rings in a joking kind of way like the PP suggested.

2. It would tip her off if you mention ring size since she is already suspicious. Maybe sizing later would be better? Go with a 6 and he can go +/- a size.

3. I think she sounds like a 5. I am 5'2 and petite and my ring finger is a 4.5.

GL!

blissfully_caffeinated · February 2010

Can the bf sneak into her jewelry stash and see if she has any rings? She may have one or two even if she never wears them. Another thought would be to ask her a question about your ring when you're out together then have her try it on. It would only work if you guys are the same size but it's worth a shot.

adriennevla · February 2010

It's really hard for anyone on here to guess a woman's finger size by her body dimensions.

For example, I am 5'5", before pregnancy 125 lbs, and I wear a size 3.75. I have TINY hands.

Other than that, I have no help for your dilemma. Tough situation!

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