2nd Trimester

younger sister just made me cry

I posted earlier about not knowing what to do about my mom coming in the room when we find out the sex.  She thinks I'm being ridiculous and hyping everything up. "You know you're pregnant, its a 50-50 chance of what it is. Its not like you're having the kid on Friday." And that making my mom wait in the waiting room "like a commoner" is going to hurt her feelings. After I had already said she can come in after they tell us and see the baby on the screen, but I want that initial moment to be with me and DH. Does anyone think thats more than fair? I'm not banning her from the room, I'm asking for 5, maybe 10 minutes alone with my husband before we share it with anyone else. I hope she's in my shoes one day and understands where I'm coming from. 
Lucas Edward | Aiden Anthony
            07.30.10          08.17.12           

Re: younger sister just made me cry

  • I think it's completly normal to want to have that time with your DH.  Try not to let it bug you!!
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  • What a mess! Sorry this is so stressful for you. I wouldn't have allowed anyone in the room any time. Can I ask if family members will be in L&D with you?
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  • Don't let her railroad you, she's just being immature.  Tell her when she has a kid she can invite whomever she wishes, but this is between you and your husband.
  • YOUR baby, YOUR choice!!!  Tell them to back off and that they are stressing you out.
  • imagemegdrew1218:
    What a mess! Sorry this is so stressful for you. I wouldn't have allowed anyone in the room any time. Can I ask if family members will be in L&D with you?

     

    No, definitely not. Thats strictly me and Nick. He agrees with me on that 100%. I don't even know how my mom is going to react to the ultrasound debacle, but my sister really made me feel like crap. 

    Lucas Edward | Aiden Anthony
                07.30.10          08.17.12           
  • Everyone has their own opinion about things like this, but in the end you have to do what you're comfortable with. I wanted my mom to be with me at the u/s and I want her to be with me in L&D, but you are entitled to do what feels best for you and DH. GL!
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  • imagekimmyt09:

    imagemegdrew1218:
    What a mess! Sorry this is so stressful for you. I wouldn't have allowed anyone in the room any time. Can I ask if family members will be in L&D with you?

     

    No, definitely not. Thats strictly me and Nick. He agrees with me on that 100%. I don't even know how my mom is going to react to the ultrasound debacle, but my sister really made me feel like crap. 

    Good! I'm glad you won't have to go through a similar situation with the delivery.

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  • I think that is more than generous of you. She actually used the word 'commoner'?? She doesn't have rights to be at the doctor's office at all, so you are being exceedingly fair. I would have told her she can take it or leave it, but not bully you into something you aren't comfortable with.

  • i think you're being a total doormat.  if you want a special day with your DH you should be able to do that without your family making you feel bad.  she's already been in your shoes, which is why this whole thing is ridiculous.  it's your baby, not hers.

    if you let them make you cry about your decisions now, extrapolate how it will be when you have a newborn and are on your last sleep-deprived nerve.

    if it were me, i'd tell them to stay home and that i'd tell them the gender after i've enjoyed talking about it with my husband.

  • dont stress out! SHE's being ridiculous. I would just tell your mom how you feel. Its your baby. You do what you want to do.
  • image*speedracer*:

    i think you're being a total doormat.  if you want a special day with your DH you should be able to do that without your family making you feel bad.  she's already been in your shoes, which is why this whole thing is ridiculous.  it's your baby, not hers.

    if you let them make you cry about your decisions now, extrapolate how it will be when you have a newborn and are on your last sleep-deprived nerve.

    if it were me, i'd tell them to stay home and that i'd tell them the gender after i've enjoyed talking about it with my husband.

     

    Its my sister saying this, not my mother. I'm not being a doormat, and I told my sister if thats how she feels than she's more than welcome to stay home.  And I made it very clear to her this is my perogative and she doesn't understand where I'm coming from because she's living it up at college, not married and pregnant. I'm here venting.

    Lucas Edward | Aiden Anthony
                07.30.10          08.17.12           
  • I guess I didn't make my entire post very clear. My mom asked to be in there, everything in quotes in my OP is from my younger sister, not my mom. I was telling her what was going on and thats what she responded with. My mom doesn't know of my decisions yet.
    Lucas Edward | Aiden Anthony
                07.30.10          08.17.12           
  • imagekimmyt09:
    I guess I didn't make my entire post very clear. My mom asked to be in there, everything in quotes in my OP is from my younger sister, not my mom. I was telling her what was going on and thats what she responded with. My mom doesn't know of my decisions yet.

    you said your sister made you cry.  and now you're asking us to validate that what you want is "more than fair."


  • Tell your mom, tell her that your sister is stressing you out about it.  Your mother will be pleased that she has even been asked to join in this at all.  If your sister says anything more about it let your mother say loud and clear that she is thrilled with it and she had no expectations to being invited at all.
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  • I think you have every right to want to have a moment for you and your H to take it in and enjoy it before she joins you.
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