Am I the only one that is not offended by most pregnancy comments?

KRISTA555 · February 2010

I'm not knocking anyone who does get their feelings hurt or are offended by comments from others. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings, and sometimes you really can't help if words from others hit you the wrong way. And I'm not saying that people shouldn't think about what they say before they say it. I totally agree.

I get annoyed by people's lack of tact, yes. But offended? Nah.

But I'm beginning to think I'm the only pregnant lady on the planet that does NOT get offended by comments like "you're huge!" or "are you sure there's not 2 in there?" etc.

With this pregnancy, I've had a BIG OLE BELLY since 17 weeks. A big part of that has been fat and I know it. We, PCOS girls, tend to carry much of our weight in the belly.

But to me when people say "you're huge" etc, they're not saying "You're fat!" they're saying "Your BABY BUMP is huge" without saying it in the right way. As far as the people who say "you sure there's not 2 in there?"... IMHO they either are ignorant to the fact that you would know that by now... or they are just kidding. They're not telling you that you are a giant obese cow. They're saying it to you while you have a pregnancy belly... not when your LO is 2 and you are on the beach, KWIM?

Am I the only one that does not get offended by these types of comments?

*Edited for typo*

mrsjenni · February 2010

No. But then again, not very much offends me.

niccole_e · February 2010

mrs.jenni:
No. But then again, not very much offends me.

this

niki731 · February 2010

Personally I could care less.... So you're not the only one.

kategw · February 2010

I agree, considering this is my first baby, I started showing really early and have been getting comments like "are you sure there aren't twins in there?" since about 10 weeks. I wanted to be pregnant and have a baby my whole life so I actually love looking pregnant. Now, if someone came up to me and said, "geez, your A** is huuuuge!!!" I might feel differently, but commenting on my belly? bring it on....

aerobaby · February 2010

I don't get offended by anything! lol i know i'm huge and i know there is only one in there.. people ask me all the time joking around.. but no i dont' get a offended by anything lol

rlscheck · February 2010

I don't get offended because I know most people aren't doing it to be mean, they are just excited about it. Plus with size comments, I KNOW I'm not huge and anyone that thinks so can kiss my a**!

FarBeyondRubies · February 2010

I'm not offended; I am huge, lol. However, I may have a different perspective since my doctor asked me if my US showed twins.

I don't want folks touching my belly, but that's about it.

katie277s · February 2010

Nah, it doesn't offend me either.

MarandaMcLean05 · February 2010

I understand what you're saying, I have yet to hear a "you're huge" comment or anything. My mom just tells me I look cute. So I can't really say anything.

But, I'm excited for the day I look PREGNANT, and obviously pregnant. I personally don't think I will get offended. Big babies aren't a bad thing.

I think that women get upset because they feel uncomfortable about putting on weight. We go through most of our lives trying to lose it, so when you start gaining it, growing out of pants, etc. you don't feel as sexy or as attractive.

Dutchlish918 · February 2010

I don't get offended, but then again, I don't get offended easily in general. I do wish that people would think about what they say sometimes. It seems like just because you are pregnant people feel the need to just say whatever they feel- there's no filter!

What annoys me the most is unwanted advice, especially from people who are in no way qualified to be giving said advice. I had a lady tell me at the end of my pregnancy with DS that I had gained too much weight. This came from an obviously overweight woman, and I was within the recommended range.

I also had a lady tell me at the bank the other day that DS was wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He was wearing the shoes my pediatrician recommends - flexible soles since he just started walking. I kindly asked her what her qualifications were, and she had no response.

lolagrinnin · February 2010

Nah, not offended. I will point out what someone just said, but mostly because I think it's funny. So far the always tactful (all male) engineers I work with have managed a few "you're huge" comments, and someone referred to me as a "mass" as I was passing by, which they all found funny and called me a mass for the rest of the day. If I'm feeling titchy and going to get mad if they say something, I usually pre-empt them by telling them I'm not in the mood for jokes.

MrsMommyQ · February 2010

I don't get offended either. Some comments annoy me more than others though--and that's mostly based on WHO said it.

At my 14 week mark my mother LOUDLY remarked in public, "WOW are you carry that baby in your hips?! They're huge?" I just laughed and I said "I know--they are huge." She felt SO bad afterwards and was worried she offended me, but it's my mom and I know she didn't mean it in a nasty way. I didn't care.

Oh and about 2 weeks ago I was out with a friend who is 22 weeks pregnant and I told her that her bump was so small that some people might not even know she's pregnant--they might just think she's fat. I ALSO felt horrible afterwards bc I didn't mean it to be mean, I just meant she wasn't big at all and that I'd seen overweight ppl with bigger bellies. She wasn't offended either. (She would have told me if she was)

kasslynne · February 2010

Nope no the only one, I am pretty thick skinned when it comes to that stuff.

dstar · February 2010

This does not bother me either but nothing usually offends me.

silverflowers · February 2010

niki731:
Personally I could care less.... So you're not the only one.

This. Most every comment has rolled off my back.

Only one hurt my feelings slightly, and it was a friend who saw me for the first time after a few months and exclaimed "Wow, someone needs to join weight watchers!"

I was probably more puzzled a her choice of words, but nothing else seems to phase me.

LaurelBee · February 2010

mrs.jenni:
No. But then again, not very much offends me.

Heehee You make me laugh

I'm with you- When my friends say "you're so big!" or "you're huge" I know that they're just comparing my bump from the last time they saw it and not calling me fat. But I'm not sensitive about my wieght- maybe I'll sing a differnt tune when my belly really is huge and awkward to me.

Shandie_725 · February 2010

I've only gotten a few comments yet, but it usually takes ALOT to bother me - lately, not so much (damn hormones).

I've gotten this comment once - from DH's uncle who we've only seen a handful of times since we began dating (8 1/2 years ago). It didn't really bother me coming from him since it's his first time seeing me since the wedding/where we announced the pregnancy.

mysticporter · February 2010

mrs.jenni:
No. But then again, not very much offends me.

Yeah, this. Sometimes I get tired of it or am amused in a 'what the hell are you thinking?' kind of way, but rarely offended.

megdrew1218 · February 2010

I agree with op - annoyance is the word I'd describe my feelings towards people (or people's lack of tact). Offended - definitely not - I don't go cry in my office when someone says I'm looking really big today. I think they're just trying to make conversation with me. Like when you're engaged - all people talk about is the wedding. Now there is a baby bump and I get asked the same questions everyday by the same people.

newlywed26 · February 2010

I sure don't get offended by anything like that at all. Of course our bellies are noticeably big. I actually enjoy the attention Wink

What I don't like are these types of comments:

I hope it's a (specific gender)

Wow you'll have your hands full. Are you sure you're ready?

Oh no!

haleyjean84 · February 2010

doesnt offend me at all. it actually makes me feel confident that my baby is growing just as he should.

missdanib · February 2010

I actually kind of like it. I would rather have people comment on how pregnant I look than just think that I am fat.

rorygirl218 · February 2010

i am not sure if i would be offended. I have the opposite problem, i have a very long torso so both pregnancies you can hardly tell, my long torso just hides baby belly. this time i am still in all my regular clothes and was with dd until about 25 weeks. people would ask all the time "are you sure you're pregant" or things like "Are you eating enough for that baby?"

sometimes that would bother me a little but i just try to shrug it off.

MrsBNDO · February 2010

Me neither, but I'm rarely offended by anything. The only thing said to me that might have been offensive made me think, "wow, kind of not an appropriate thing to say to a pregnant woman. weird!" But it didn't offend/upset me - I was more surprised than anything.

mrsnuss2b · February 2010

I'm with you. I certainly understand how it would be hurtful and I think in theory I get offended (like I always understand why/how bumpies feel when someone says this to them and it is unwelcome and/or offensive), but the times that people have said that to me my response has always been immediate and it's been "I know! It's huge! Isn't it a riot?!" I've never felt offended by a comment like that. One woman who I work with regularly told me that she knew I was pregnant because my "face looked SO chubby!" That I found a little over the top...and nearly offensive because that's never really appropriate, right?

MermaidNM · February 2010

I am not offended but then again I am not huge in the least. I have had a few comments from tactless coworkers that made me wonder what is wrong with them but nothing that offended me. Certainly no one has said anything that made me want to come to the bump and share the horror and normally when I read those posts I want to tell people to take a deep breath and be happy if that is the worst thing that happens to them today.

CocoP2008 · February 2010

I haven't gotten any "you're huge" comments yet. I guess depending on how my day is going and who and how it is said, will determine if I'm offended.

The only thing I've been offended about so far is one comment about my boobs - not ok.

cutie420311 · February 2010

It does not "offend" me. It annoys the piss out of me.

mexicolombiana · February 2010

Yeah I don't get offended very easily either, annoyed maybe, but I don't take any offense to those type of comments. I think it's funny.

And here goes another thing that doesn't offend me (ha at least not yet): people rubbing my belly. Mind you I'm only 15 weeks and I'm really not showing so to speak, but there is a small bump in my lower abdomen that you can sort of see. I kind of like when people rub my belly, although I will admit that this has only happened with close friends and family. Strangers on the street will not be allowed to rub my belly, but as long as I personally know you I don't mind. Yes yes I'm sure this will change!

laurasue · February 2010

rorygirl218:

i am not sure if i would be offended. I have the opposite problem, i have a very long torso so both pregnancies you can hardly tell, my long torso just hides baby belly. this time i am still in all my regular clothes and was with dd until about 25 weeks. people would ask all the time "are you sure you're pregant" or things like "Are you eating enough for that baby?"

sometimes that would bother me a little but i just try to shrug it off.

Yeah, I've gotten comments like this from a few rude individuals. Things like "are you even gaining ANY weight?" Thankfully I think my bump looks cute as hell and I'm thrilled not to be packing on the pounds, so my attitude is "eff em." It doesn't offend, but more of amuse me, at how some people have such little tact.

orienae · February 2010

Nothing much either offends me or even annoys me. Not about how I look or about whether I should be doing this or that, or about how I should parent. I figure in the end, I'll look however I look, accept the suggestions/comments I accept, and parent the way I parent. I'm not the least bit sensitive and most things just roll right off of me. I know, in most instances, people mean well and that's how I like to take it.

cactus5 · February 2010

I am pretty sensitive, but comments about pregnancy rarely get to me. In my opinion people are just tactless and are trying to acknowledge your pregnancy.

I also hate when women get upset when people ask for updates in how they are feeling and thier pregnancy. They aren't trying to annoy you.

MorissaW · February 2010

Is being offended and having your feelings hurt the same thing? If so I am guilty. I am usually not this way- I am just a big 'ol wuss since I got pregnant this time around. I cry at everything and my feelings get hurt at the drop of a hat, LOL

Amoret · February 2010

Offended? No. But by the end last time, I was ready to go back to being anonymous. Also, there are times when I just have no response: i.e. "you look so good. That just makes me sick." Ummm. okay.

amanda31H · February 2010

cutie420311:
It does not "offend" me. It annoys the piss out of me.

Coudln't have said it better myself! It's actually not the "you're huge" comments that have bothered me.... but the people who have asked me if I'm sure that the doctor has my due date correct..... COME ON!

0danielle0 · February 2010

I'm not showing yet, so I can't relate to the "You're huge!" comments... but I do get a bit irritated when someone questions whether I'm really pregnant or not. This guy at my yoga studio actually stopped me from walking into my prenatal class because he just couldn't believe I was KO. I've also had several older women lecture me on how I'm not gaining enough weight, as if they have any idea how much weight I've gained or have any expertise on the subject. Meh. I'm convinced people just love to hear themselves talk...

Buckets of Moonbeams · February 2010

Nah. I've never been offended by what anyone says to me re: pregnancy. Of course I've never been called huge, but I heard a lot of "Ohmigosh, you're going to have a 3 pound baby." A lot of posts make me think of that hilarious video on youtube called "Pregnant Women are Smug."

BelleIsa · February 2010

mrs.jenni:
No. But then again, not very much offends me.

Ditto.

sabrinafair · February 2010

Funny thing is that I've made the "wow your huge" comment before without ever meaning it in a mean/negative way and I still don't understand how it can be taken that way. I've always meant "your bump/baby is huge" and it's meant in a fascinated and affectionate way. I think it's amazing when you get a huge belly full of baby, it's a miracle and the bigger it is the more obvious that your miracle will be arriving soon.

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