My Mom passed away. My longest post ever :(

dundasgirl · January 2010

Hi ladies,

I just wanted all of you to know since you gave me so much love, advice and and support that my Mom passed away last night. I arrived home last Friday night and visited with my Mom on Saturday and Sunday. My husband, aunt, brother, and I all tried and finally convinced my Mom to go to the hospital. She agreed to go and ask the doctor for something for energy and to give her an appetite so she could gain weight. We took her to the ER on Monday at noon. After some simple routine examinations they found that my Mom had advanced inoperable, untreatable cancer. I knew in my heart that she was very ill but I was still hoping for a miracle.

My mother kept her illness to herself as long as she possibly could, took care of everyone else, and worked 2 jobs seven days a week until the middle of November. She walked into that hospital on her own two feet...I am sure scared out of her mind.

They immediately ordered a consultation from the palliative care director in the hospital. My Mom wanted to go home at that point, but she was so weak and thin and wasted away. She agreed to stay the night in the hospital and we spoke to the doctor in the morning. He said she was very close to death and would pass in the next few days. At this point she still wouldn't even accept a pain pill.

She agreed to go upstairs to the palliative care. She was determined and alert up until Wednesday evening when she went downhill quite dramatically. Thankfully my sister arrived in time to really talk to her. She also finally accepted some pain medication.

Yesterday, Friday, the last of our immediate family arrived and visited with her. She was awake all day and listened to every word that was said although she couldn't reply. Around 8, I asked her if she was tired and ready to sleep. She let me know that yes, it was time for everyone to leave. I got the family to leave, including my husband, as I knew it had to be just me and her. I swear when the last person left she opened both her eyes and it was the most amazing, powerful thing. We did it together. I talked to her and told her it was ok, it was time to go and see my Dad and her mom and dad....that I knew she loved me, my sister, brother, the grandkids, I named off everyone that meant something to her. I must have said a million things in 10 minutes. She passed away looking right in my eyes holding my hand. I am so grateful that I was there for her and with her at the time when she needed me. I had spent the entire week since Monday in the hospital with Mom. I left to take showers and hug my babies and then came back. I slept in the room with her. All of the nurses and doctors were so loving and respectful to her.

I will be staying in Nova Scotia for awhile. We need to make arrangements and then I will be staying to help clean out her house and take care of everything. It is going to be tough but it is going to help me grieve I think.

I am so grateful for you ladies and all of the support that you have given me. I truly could feel your hugs, positive thoughts and your prayers surrounding me and giving me strength while I was with my Mom in the hospital. thank you.

efooey · January 2010

I'm so sorry, but glad you got to be there and she passed peacefully. I hope the next few weeks go smoothly, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers

E

Mrs.OL · January 2010

I am so sorry that your mom has passed. I'm glad that you were able to spend some quality time with her. It is hard, but your mom obviously knew how much you and her family loved her. She sounds like she is an amazing woman. You and your family are in my thoughts today and always.

Shore.Bride · January 2010

You are an amazing, wonderful daughter....your Mom is so very proud of you.

I too lost my Mom, so I understand every emotion you are going through right now. Please PM me if you need anything.

I am thinking about you and praying for you & your family. Be strong.

close2it · January 2010

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You and your mother both sound like incredibly strong women. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

stepgirl21 · January 2010

Your post is overwhelming and has me in tears. I am so sorry for this incredible loss. You sound like an amazingly strong woman to let your mom go with such grace and strength. I hope that you and your family will be blessed with sweet memories and comfort everyday.

mhop · January 2010

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to be with her...

ela81 · January 2010

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine. It sounds like your mom was an incredibly amazing and strong woman. She was so luck to have you as her daughter and I'm sure you being there gave her so much comfort. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

laura1 · January 2010

I am so sorry...I am glad that you got to be there for her at the end. I will keep you and your family in your thoughts!

DavezWife · January 2010

as a cancer and hospice nurse, I've seen & heard a LOT of stories about the end.

Yours was, by FAR, one of the most amazing. I am so terribly sorry this is how it ended up, but so happy you had the chance to get that time with her, and to be there for her like that.

She brought you into the world, and you helped her out.

You are such a wonderful person and daughter.

My condolences to your whole family. Please let us know if you need anything, or stop here by for a breakdown or just a break, whenever you want.

lilmel6 · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you feel very blessed that you were able to spend some time with her before her passing. Hang in there and know that we're always here for support. ((HUGS))

TheSkimmy · January 2010

I have tears going down my face right now. You are so strong and full of love. What a wonderful person you are to be there for your mom when she needed you the most. I'll be thinking of you and your brothers and sisters. HUGS! We are here if you need anything.

I have good family friends in Nova Scotia if you need anything I know they would be more than willing to help.

SeaSoul · January 2010

What a powerful story. I am so sorry you lost your mom, and think it's just wonderful that you sensed something was amiss and did what you had to, to help her. And though it was, sadly, too late to do anything that would prolong her life, you were there with her in the end, and that is huge. I wish peace and fond memories for you and your family. Sending a big hug your way.

happytracy · January 2010

I am so sorry. It sounds like your mom got to pass on in such a loving, caring way. With such an awful event, that truly is a blessing that she had you there. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

(((HUGS)))

leslies75 · January 2010

My heart aches for you. I'll be thinking of you and your family during this sad time.

Nesting.Away · January 2010

She sounds like a remarkable woman and I think you got a ton of that from her. I am very sorry for your loss.

jcombs · January 2010

I am so sorry! It was wonderful you were able to help her through that time.

muppet.fan · January 2010

I am so, so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were an amazingly strong daughter (and sister, mother and wife). You and your family will be in my prayers.

chocolatechip06 · January 2010

I hope the next few weeks bring you peace. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad you were able to spend the week with her. (((Hugs))))

Happycouple · January 2010

Wow. Your post really moved me. I am truly heartbroken for you and your family. I am also incredibly glad that you could be with her in those last moments...what a wonderful daughter you are and it sounds like she was a great, strong mother. I am so sorry for your loss.,

groovygrl · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss but as others have said, what a powerful story, your mom died such a dignified death and you handled it so well, while it isn't a memory that you will necessarily think of as 'treasuring' maybe, it is so meaningful that you could be there with her at that transition.

My dad died in October and although I was able to visit him before he died, I couldn't be there the day that the ventilator was removed but I was present via Skype (which is very strange, I know...) and felt somewhat like I was with my family and my dad, at least as much as I could in our situation. It is so hard to believe & surreal but such an important experience & I'm thankful that I was 'there' in some way.

Take care of yourself in your healing and over the coming months/year with all the ups & downs.

Waiting4baby08 · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. I did the same thing with my grandma and was the last person to talk to her. I'm so grateful and changed by those last moments we shared together. I'm very glad your mom had you to take care of and go through this with. Hugs.

kimarino13 · January 2010

I am so grateful you had those last moments with your mom. My deepest condolences on your loss.

Carrie25 · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you got to be there with her during her stay in the hospital, I'm sure it meant the world to her. I hope that your time in Nova Scotia goes smoothly. Let us know if you need anything.

dana316 · January 2010

I am so so sorry...

LisaandBryan · January 2010

Oh wow, Im so sorry. you sound like an amazing daughter and i'm sure your mom was thankful that you were there for her in her final days. take care of yourself.

Smudges*Mom · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. Your post has moved me to tears, thinking of what you have been through and what is yet ahead. I am so glad that you were there with her in her last moments, loving her and caring for her.

Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish that there was more that I could do.

roaringrock · January 2010

I'm bawling.

I am sooooo so sorry to hear this news. my god, how terrible. my heart breaks for you sweetie.

I too was with my mom when she took her last breath -- what a profound and moving experience. I'm so very glad you got to spend some time with her this past week. you're an awesome daughter (and mother.) you know she's very proud.

I'm thinking of you and am always "here" if you need anything. this is not easy.

(((BIG hug)))

leslie&brian · January 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounded like such an amazing, and strong person, and those are traits that she passed down to you. It's a beautiful thing that you were able to be there with her as she passed away. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

MrsRyan61804 · January 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

rockvillebride · January 2010

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to be there when she needed you the most. Big hugs to you!

Courted · January 2010

Oh my gosh! I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. Your post is so sweet and sad at the same time. I am very teary right now just thinking of being in your shoes with my own mom. I can't imagine loosing my mother and I know the heart ache would indescribable. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

cmw&tdm · January 2010

I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers.

futureMrs.Eanes · January 2010

I am so so sorry for your loss.

BestThingsCome · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were her rock - very brave. Despite it being terribly painful, I am glad that you were able to be there with her as she let go.

Thank you for trusting us enough to share such raw emotions in your post.

Thinking of you in my prayers.

DenverGrl · January 2010

What a heartbreaking post. You are such a wonderful daughter to be there and care for her as she passed. My thoughts are with you and your family as you deal with your loss.

Mrs.Babbsy · January 2010

I am so sorry, that had to amazing and hard all at the same time. You are such a strong woman, sounds like she needed to hear you were okay with her passing. I am in tears reading your post.

Take care of yourself and hug those beautiful babies!

mmcarlson1 · January 2010

So sorry to hear the news. We will be praying for you and your family.

FaithRocks · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful way to say goodbye. I am so glad that you were able to get up there and see her and at least get her the care that she needed to be comfortable. You did an incredible thing. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

smilee · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss and all that your mom had to go through. You and she both are a strong, brave ladies.

Being with my mom when she passed was one of the most amazing, powerful, beautifully sad moments of my life. As hard as it is to be without your mom, I know I would have not traded those last few moments for anything in my life.

You and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Steph9-17-04 · January 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad that you were able to be there for her. Take care.

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