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Multiples
we lost our dear kylie
almost two days ago now due to sids. ?i just dont have the words right now, but i wanted you all to know and thank you for the time i was here and all of the support you gave me through my pregnancy. ?she was exactly 11 weeks old. ?
those of you that have gone through this, how did you move on? ?of course its still so soon and i am still numb but i just need to know that there is a way to overcome it. ?
my other two children are what is keeping me going, but i have no idea how to answer my two year old when she asks for ky ky as she calls her. ?any suggestions on this if you have had older sibs?
her funeral is on tuesday and i am hoping i can get through that. ?the planning of it are not easy either. ?:(
thank you all again.?
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Re: we lost our dear kylie
I can't even imagine your pain. I am so truly sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find joy in the time you were able to spend with her here and just know you will see her again one day.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
My heart is breaking. I am so sorry.
Please visit the loss board - the moms there will have good info and support for you. And you are always welcome here! You will always be a twin mommy!
My good friend who lost her twins after 5 days told their older brother that they were with God in heaven... not sure what your beliefs are- but I would think a simple explaination like that would help your 2 y/o... she's young- she won't understand, but eventually can process.... just as I'm sure you can't even understsand right now... it's just so horrible. I'm so very sorry.
I will be praying for you and your family.
***Twin fraternal girls born at 35w6d in 12/2008***
I agree with these suggestions. And you will definitely always be welcome here; once a MoM, always a MoM. I am so sorry and heart-broken for you. ((((HUGS)))) I will be sending lots of thoughts and prayers for your family. I so wish there was something I could do.
A grief counselor who I've heard speak wrote a book to help explain death to young children. It might be helpful for talking to your 2-year-old (though it might still be a little old for her):
https://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Whats-Died-Butterfly-Story/dp/1889636975/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1264855940&sr=8-1
There is also an organization called Center for Loss in Multiple Birth (CLIMB) that might be helpful to connect with when you feel able:
https://www.climb-support.org/
I know that there are no words that will ease the pain you are feeling right now, but I am sending all the good thoughts I have your way in hopes that feeling the support of all these ladies can help lift your spirit, if only for a moment.
I hope that you will find support - it will always be here and you got some good suggestions for other resources to help meet others who can work with you as you deal with your grief.
When we lost my brother this year, we debated what to say to my three year old. Like the others, we went with simplicity. We told her that her uncle was in heaven, that she can't go see him, but that she can talk about him and remember him. We discussed that is is alright to feel sad when we miss him, but to remember that he is happy and loves us and wants us to feel happy. You can let her guide you, but I also think it is important to acknowledge the pain and the sad - she'll see that part, too.
Sending you hugs. I'm so, so sorry for you and your family. You will continue to be in my thoughts.
I am so so sorry you lost your Kylie. You and your family will be in my prayers. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are in right now. Big (((HUGS))).
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I am so sorry to hear about your Kylie. Having buried my 1 month old son, I can tell you that it is not something you overcome, just something you survive. You will eventually learn to walk around on a daily basis without crashing into a mess of tears, although that will still occur occasionally. But, don't expect it to happen too soon.
It took quite awhile before the actual shock went away for me, and I'm told that I am still dealing with PTSD. Her services, though, will probably feel like a dream. It's horrific to plan your baby's funeral. It's just something you survive, and you have 2 beautiful reasons to help you do that.
Anakin has been gone a year and a half. I still fall to tears. I still have WHY OH WHY GOD days. I still have IT'S NOT FAIR days. I talk to him constantly.
Just know that you will not be the same person you were before. You will not be the same woman, mother, wife, or daughter you were before. Losing a child marks your soul. Just take it one second at a time. Grieve however comes naturally (except things that will harm you of course). If you need to sleep for days, do it. If you cry non-stop, do it. If you put off sleep so long that your body forces you to sleep (my m.o. in the months after Anakin's death), do it. Grief is not the same for everyone and accepting that will help you and the rest of the family.
Sorry this is getting long. If you want to talk or anything, please pm me. I'm so sorry you have to be part of this club.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I am so so so sorry...you and your family will be in my prayers, my cousin died of SIDS when I was in 6th grade, on Feb 1st. My Aunt is very involved in SIDS awareness and getting information out about SIDS and how to prevent it, she says that this has 'helped' her with kelly's death, she and my uncle also saw a counselor.
I am so so sorry, I hate that this still happens to families.
After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!