My Beautiful baby girl was born on Jan15 after a long labor and a somewhat traumatic birth (forceps, vacuum, tearing, tear of the uterus, episiotomy, etc.) I have been breast feeding ever since. At first it was extremely painful, and she tended to nipple feed rather than actually breast feed. That gave me really cut up nipples and they are still healing. Now she is better, however, I still hate breast feeding. It always hurts when she first latches, and then it gets a bit better, but still hurts. Then she'll get a rush of milk, and either choke a bit or just change the latch, which usually ends up in me getting bit. Its so fusterating/painful that I usually end up cussing at least once during a feeding. I am seriously thinking of pumping. I know that they say that breastfeeding is a bonding experience with your baby, but it does not seem to be working that way for us. I dread feeding her. It could be because I am in so much pain everywhere else ( my bladder and bowels haven't started to work properly yet, and I got lovely hemmrhoids the size of quarters according to the nurse that make it hard to walk sometimes....) But I am really not finding this a good experience. I feel terrible because its supposed to be so good for both of us. If I pump, will I dry up or will I be able to maintain a supply, and will we still get most of the benefits of breastfeeding minus the "bonding"? Ugh. I wish it didn't bother me so much
Re: I feel like such a bad mom...
I am so sorry to hear you had such a traumatic birth and are struggling with BFing. I think all moms will say it was really hard at first, not only with the pain and struggling to latch, but your emotions and hormones are all over the place so it makes the physical stuff that much more difficult. It might not be a bad idea to pump for awhile until you heal a bit more. Then you wont have as many physical hurdles. If you pump you need to pump every 3 hours I am pretty sure. There are women on here who only pump and they would know all about that. Defnately talk to a Lactation Consultant before you decide to stop, they can help you with the decision more. Just remember, happy mom = happy baby!
Good luck!
I'm sorry that you had such a rough delivery/recovery/bf'ing experience. Erin did a job on my nipples as well. Looking back, I should have been more forceful in letting the LC know that my pain wasn't "normal" (I've nursed 2 kids since then and have found that toe curling/tears rolling down my face during the whole feeding is definitely not normal!).
I ended up pretty much EP'ing until I had gallbladder issues and weaned her totally at 4 wks. I did not produce enough and had to do quite a bit of supplementing with formula. I found out after Connor was born that it had nothing to do with EP'ing and my low supply is due to insufficient gladular tissue.
My advice would be to seek the help of an LC. If nothing she suggests seems to be working, then by all means EP! Hang in there, mama...you're doing a great job!
Don't be so down on yourself. You've only been doing this a little over a week. I don't think most women love breastfeeding when they first start. It's hard. Your hormonal. Your recovering from birth. It is a lot to deal with.
Yes, breastfeeding does give you an incredible bond but even that takes time to build up. I had a really rough go of it with breastfeeding. I wanted to give up so many times in those first 3 weeks especially. But I stuck with it and it has been one of the greatest joys of being a mom. I say that now that I made it through the hard part, though.
You definitely need to figure out what will work for you. Maybe you can pump a couple of feeds to give yourself a break. I was also torn about pumping versus breastfeeding. I chose to get away from the pump in those early weeks because I think it is generally harder to do in the long run. It's not impossible but it really is more difficult than breastfeeding once you have it figured out.
My suggestion is to take it one day at a time. There's no need to make any major decisions right now. Give it at least 3 weeks of breastfeeding to see how you feel then. I know it's hard to imagine but it does get better. And once you do figure it out, it is so wonderful and easy. Hang in there and definitely talk to friends who have breastfed or a LC and ask questions here. I couldn't have done it without the support of so many women. GL!
Where in Canada are you? If you are in Toronto the Breastfeeding Clinic at Toronto East General is fantastic. Staffed by really helpful LC-RNs. PM me for details if you need them.
You've received some really great advice here and I promise, things ill get much better very soon.
Awww!!! Bug hugs to you Mama!! I really feel for you with your difficult recovery. I had a super rough start with my first baby and it just kept piling on and I thought when is this going to end!? I am so glad I stuck with it and it did get easier!
My opinion- pumping is not going to make things easier- it's going to take time to pump- then even more time to feed- and you'll have to clean the pump and the bottles- once you start feeding bottles- you baby might refuse to nurse or have a bottle latch if you wanted to go back to nursing- that could become a big hurdle- and your supply can drop because the pump will never stimulate your supply as well as a baby.
Keep it simple! >hugs<
You've received great advice on the technical part, so I'm going to address the emotional part.
Yes, BFing is a great way to bond, but not the only way. After all, dads, grandparents, and other relatives bond with babies, too. A big part of it is the way in which you interact with your baby. If you're bottle feeding, strip as you would if you were BFing and hold your baby at your breast. Look into her eyes and talk, sing, even read to her. Pat and rub your DD. Continue these interactions in everything you do with her, from diaper changes to bed time routines. One of the benefits of BFing is being able to feed your baby while sleeping yourself, but little actual bonding is going on during this time.
Congratulations, and I hope everything goes well!