Having a bad nite.

howleyshell · January 2010

Lots of tears.No shoulder to cry them on.Sometimes I resent the hell out of my step-son. Love him to death but on the rare occasion I really NEED my husband I hate it when he's here and up until 10 or 11 and he comes before me in order to keep up the facade that nothings wrong. I hate that DH won't just tell him "I need to go spend some time with Shell for a bit, K?" The world won't end if he chooses me over his son when something's REALLY wrong and I really really need him.I'd get it if he had an urgent need to but watching a movie isn't something he needs his dad for right now. He probably wouldn't even notice if DH slipped away to come spend just a few minutes with me as I sob uncontrollably, right? My whole fvcking life feels like it's always about putting other's needs before mine and usually I'm cool with that but right now I'm not.I'm bitterI'm angryandI'm lonely. and really really really really insanely stupidly hormonal. Thanks for letting me get that all out.

ela81 · January 2010

I don't have the right words like you always to but I'm here.

I'm sorry. Now is one of those times you should be put 1st. Your right I bet his son would never notice.

Cry/vent/scream away!

schmoodle · January 2010

I'm sorry, sweetie. (((HUGS)))

Smudges*Mom · January 2010

I am so sorry. (((hugs)))

I hope that you are able to get some time with your hubby, for him to wrap his arms around you, hold you tight and to talk with you about what is going on.

Thinking of you. . .

somethingchangd · January 2010

I'm so so sorry. I can't imagine going through what you're going through without having my husband petting my head the whole time. For months. Or years.

Can you tell your DH that you need him to put you first for now? Would he be receptive if you just asked?

Again, I am really sorry. No one should have to go through that.

howleyshell · January 2010

That's the kicker.

I think he's THRILLED to have an excuse to disappear during the weepies.

His words of wisdom "You know it's not a good idea to discuss anything important or make any big decisions right now. You know this is hormones and you know it'll pass"

Yes dumb ass..

but that doesn't mean I couldn't use some serious hugs, "I'm here for you's" and a truck load of chocolate right now.

I'm really crushed that he's knowingly leaving me alone in the state I'm in right now.

I can't go downstairs without letting the teenager know something pretty big is up and that's just not cool. I'm not gonna stress him out unnecessarily.

But his dad's an @sshat for running and hiding like a damned teenager.

somethingchangd · January 2010

Oh crap. That's terrible. In that case I would inform him in no uncertain terms that no, it isn't hormones. That yes, you're in a state of hormonal flux, but you're also going through a traumatic emotional experience that can't be ignored or explained away, no matter what your hormonal condition. Hormones are part of it, but not even the main part. And you don't want to make decisions anyway, you just want to deal with being sad. And you have every right in the world to have your husband with you while you do that.

I'm sorry again.

TheSkimmy · January 2010

I'm so sorry I'll send you Hugs!!! There isn't much I can say to make you feel better but just know that I'm always here if you want to talk. Email, phone, skype, sex chat lines etc :-) If your stepson finds out... oh well. True life and sometimes it's difficult. I hope the rest of the night is better for you. I can always mail ya some chocolate!!

DavezWife · January 2010

Hey Mr. Howleyshell:

Pleaseandspankyouverymuch.

Signed,

The Posse.

Nesting.Away · January 2010

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

skoorbnibor · January 2010

I am so sorry, honey. I wish I could be right there, but know that I am right here, thinking about you....

sixres · January 2010

Wishing you were having a better night Shell! ((HUGS))

Waiting4baby08 · January 2010

You should absolutely come first at this point. I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely. That is one of the worst feelings. You have a right to be bitter. Lots of hugs being sent to you. Got any chocolate?

here4u · January 2010

I'm sorry this weekend is not going well. I hope after the movie is over and DH comes to bed that he will hold you all night and let you cry all you want.

Home_slice · January 2010

Oh I'm so sorry. That sucks. It's not like you need to make life decisions or whatever right now.. you just want him to hold you! Have you told him that or does he not get it? I'm just very sorry.. I want to give you a big hug.

firsttogo · January 2010

Oh, my I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Of course you need your DH now. He should know, and respect that. There is nothing wrong with telling SS that he needs to be with you for a bit. We are here.... not the same as your DH, but we are here.

BoxTer · January 2010

I'm so sorry! If I were nearby, I would bring some chocolate and wine for you.

sara401 · January 2010

I'm sorry you felt lonely last night!! Hopefully he eventually came to comfort you. As we went through our IF battle and I would be really upset, sometimes DH wouldn't comfort me the way I wanted. We talked about it and he said he was just scared he would say or do the wrong thing (and then of course, that would make things worse). He thought it was easier to let me be. He's much better now when I need him, but maybe that's what your DH is thinking right now!!

futureMrs.Eanes · January 2010

Oh honey, I am so so sorry. You are such an amazing person. You WILL get through this. Hugs and prayers for you.

pamela-matt · January 2010

I am so very, very sorry. I wish I could come through the screen and give you a huge (((HUG)))

MonkeysGirl05 · January 2010

I'm so sorry... (((HUGS)))

ABC-123 · January 2010

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this and that you are feeling so lonely. I hope that your DH gets his head out of his a$$ (as I now have a lovely visual from Davez's post) and supports you like he should. Sending lots and lots of hugs your way.

smilee · January 2010

I am so sorry, and I am so sorry for all that you are going through.

beebe929 · January 2010

I am so sorry. I hope today is a little bit better for you. And tomorrow is even better.

Hang in there!

lnle · January 2010

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry!!

CMM05 · January 2010

Girl, I'm so sorry.

I don't know what to say......besides the fact that your feelings are so totally normal and it all just sucks Life is just so unfair.

I hope you get some "together" time with DH today.....

Take care of yourself-we are always here!

(((HUGS)))

GuitaristsGirl · January 2010

I'm so sorry honey. I understand (as much as I can) and agree with everything you said. ((Hugs))

happytracy · January 2010

just wanted to give (((HUGS)))

dana316 · January 2010

I'm late coming on this...I'm so sorry you had a bad night...I hope things got better.

BTW, smack your husband for me...

(((Hugs)))

MrsRyan61804 · January 2010

I'm so sorry your going through this. ((hugs))

FaithRocks · January 2010

Oh my gosh I am so sorry you're feeling so alone. You're not, though, we love you. Sending huge hugs.

alchris · January 2010

I am so so sorry, sweetie. I hope today is a bit better day for you.

I wish there were something else I could do other than send you a thousand hugs and more hugs after that. We're here for you, K? And hopefully today he'll tell you how much he loves you....and please ask him to if he doesn't

JillRock96 · January 2010

I know I'm really late on this, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you had such a rough night. I think that I would be annoyed/hurt/pissed off in the same situation. I hope today was a better day.

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