2nd Trimester

Who will be with you during labor?

At first I was only thinking of having DH there...now that my mom will be living here in our town come dd time - I am starting to think that having her there might not be a bad idea...but I'm really confused about everything I feel with that. I just don't want to be embarrassed or feel like I have to pay more attention to DH or mom. I know that sounds kind of silly but I know that if I am only going to have DH there I probably should let my mom know soon so it's not a big deal when it happens and no ones feelings are hurt.

So my question is - who are you having there with you during labor and why did you choose this? Thanks for sharing ladies:) This has been really bugging me!

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Re: Who will be with you during labor?

  • My SO, Mother, and lil sister.

    My SO is the obvious one.

    Mother is very relaxing for me

    And my sister is 13 and it may help her practice safe sex, BAHAHHA...

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  • My husband in the room. That's it.
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  • DH, myself and necessary medical professionals. Everyone else - get out! :-) I met a lady that offered to be my doula for free (she needs a couple more births to get her actual license). But it seems like a stranger in the room with me.

    Just my two cents.

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  • it'll just be me and DH - if it's a long labour, then I might ask to see my bff just for some strength and positivity and reassurance, but come delivery time - just me and DH.

    I'd throat punch both my Mom and MIL - they're both overbearing and whatnot.

  • DH (because he wouldn't miss it for the world!:), my older sister (she's been an ER nurse and wouldn't be squeamish, AND she can't have children and "wanted to experience labor") and my mom (who is also in the nursing field, and wants to be creepy and watch the whole thing!)

     

  • We chose to do a water birth at a birthing center. DH and I will be there. We've talked about letting my mom be there, just to encourage me. I know going natural without meds would make anyone want their mommy Wink
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  • I originally thought I would have DH, my mom and his mom (if she wanted). Then we saw how small the rooms are and I decided it would just be the two of us, the midwife and nurse.
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  • DH and maybe my mom (she is moving to Alaska, so it will be hit or miss)
  • I kind of just have to wait and see who will be available at the time.  If DH hasn't deployed yet, he will be the only one in the delivery room with me.  If he is deployed and my mom is able to make it out here in time, she'll be in the delivery room with me.  If not, than one of my friends out here will be.  My first choice and would feel the most comfortable having just DH there, but that may not be a choice for us.  Do whatever you feel most comfortable with.
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  • Just DH I would never feel comfortable with anyone else there.

    I've read that if you are uncomfortable with someone being in the room it can slow down your labor.

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    Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
  • DH, myself and necessary medical professionals.
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  • My husband and mom. My husband is a wonderful, completely supportive man but I think I need my mom there to keep me in line. My husband does everything pretty slowly (he's very meticulous) and I can see myself getting mad at him when he takes forever to get me a glass of water, etc. My mom and my husband love each other, and  the dynamic between the three of us is great. I originally wanted only my husband with me but I realized this might also be pretty overwhelming for him since its the first baby for both of us.


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  • Just DH.  He's my support structure, having anyone else there (besides medical staff, of course) would just get in the way for me and be a distraction.

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  • my DH and mother will be with me.
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    Lydia Eloise (5/25/10)
    Nora Annabelle (2/14/12)
    M/C 6.5 weeks (1/29/14) EDD (9/21/14)
  • DH and mom.

    Not really sure why, just seems like I'd feel comfortable having them both there.

  • I'm thinking only DH as of now...but if labor gets crazy unbearable - I'm going to need my mama. :)

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  • I dont know probably whoever wants to come see me.  Unless I'm in a bad mood and then probably my H & mom.
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  • During labor or during delivery?

    When I was in labor with DD, it was pretty much a party in my room.  DH, my dad, step-mom, and MIL were there the whole time.  My SILs were in and out.

    Once it came time to push, everyone but DH left.

    Depending on when I deliver this time, either the same people will be there, or MIL will not be there b/c she'll be taking care of DD.

    ETA: My mom passed away in 2001, which is why she wasn't there.

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  • I'm having a scheduled C-section, so DH and medical staff in the OR.
  • Only 2 people (outside of medical staff) will be allowed in the room while I'm in labor: DH & my mom.

    DH - obvious!!!  I want/need his support, I want him to be part of this (my mom still talks about how her dad wasn't there for her or her 2 siblings during birth & she sounds like she still has a small grudge about it), & he REALLY wants to see everything & be part of it regardless ^_^

    Mom - We had a rocky time when I lived with here, did not get a long in the least.  But, after about 2 yrs of me living on my own & her loosening up (Dad retired & they travel f/t so she's happy now), we've gotten pretty close.  I actually look forward to seeing her & if I don't see her on Sundays, I usually call during the week.  This is her first grandkid & I think she'll love to be part of this whole experience.  Plus, she's been through this 3x so I think I can rely on her understanding of what I'll be going through ^_^

    The only thing I'm currently debating is my dad.  I don't want him to be all by himself in the waiting room.  I might have him hang out until I go into active labor or they want me to get ready to push.  I REALLY don't want my dad in there to see all of that!!

    Dylan Gabriel 04/29/10 Aiden Drake 04/28/12
  • Far too many people. When I am in labour, I am pretty sure my family will all want to be in that waiting room. We're all super close. Think parents, friends, aunts, cousins, and all of those lovely people.

    However, when I am pushing, only Nate will be there.

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  • Just my H.  My mom said she would be there if I needed her to be as well.  I think I just want it to be just my H and I though.  This changes on a daily basis though.



    Me: 32 DH: 31
    Married:  July 14, 2007
    TTC #1:  January 2008
    Surprise BFP:  November 2009
    DD Born: July 10, 2010
    TTC #2:  April 2016
    CP:  September 2016
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  • Just DH- he's been gone since I was 6 weeks pregnant on deployment and won't be back until I'm 33 weeks, so this is our one big thing we will be able to share together.
    Logan Jack- 6.1.10 and Emmett Weston- 9.29.12 

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  • DH and my mom...had them both last time because my DH is one of those people who can't handle needles, blood, or men in lab coats....seriously I'm not exaggerating...he had to be sedated to get a blood test for life insurance. He left the room so many times while I was in the hospital for DD's birth I would have been very lonely without my mom. Plus I had some complications so it was nice to be able to send him with the baby and still have my mom there with me. I was afraid it would be awkward, I'm very modest...but my mom did give birth to me, so I decided I was being silly. It was a huge comfort!
  • Anyone but my MIL... (J/K although she will be nowhere near my room)

    My DH and my Mom (in place of a doula)

  • DH and my mom. Maybe my sisters too.
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  • DH for sure. Then maybe my twin sister and my mom. My mom is a nurse and will have good tips for me.
  • Just DH, and only ever DH. I don't want my MIL/Mom/Stepmom in there with me - they stress me out so it would not be relaxing. Plus I really don't feel that's a moment I want a parent/sibling in the room with me.
  • Just my husband.  My mom will be watching my son, I have no sisters, and my MIL, who I wouldn't let into the delivery room anyone (she's great, we're just not *that* close) lives too far away. 
  • I haven't completely decided yet. DH obviously.  My mom wants to be there, she was for DD's birth.  However, I'm going natural this time and want my room to be as quiet and peaceful as possible.  My mother is not a quiet for peaceful person.  The little kid in me wants my mommy there, but I just worry that she will stress me out more.
  • imageshanmoyer:

    I'd throat punch both my Mom and MIL - they're both overbearing and whatnot.

    I hear ya!!! I'd be too afraid when we name the baby that my mom would change it! Or open her mouth up. Although, during that time it might give me the strength to tell her to shut the f up!

  • During labor and delivery I have decided to only have DH and my mom there. I want to be comfortable and focus on the process. I don't want a lot of other people there to distract my DH either. I want my DH at my side during labor but once the baby is crowning I want him to be with the baby and my mom can step in and be at my side. My mom will be there to help get things for DH like food, coffee or give him a break.
  • We are planning on a home birth so my midwife and her assistant will be here an DH and my mom. I love DH and Im sure he will be supportive but I just think I will need my mom too :)
  • DH only for sure!  I think it is a very special experience for parents to share between themselves.

    My "special experience" with DS was 36 hours & med-free.  I never once wanted anyone else near me.  :) 

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  • i'm not sure this time, but last time it was DH and my dad. i am very close to my dad, and my mom is BSC. she actually was escorted by hospital security away because she was trying to  run in to get to see me Indifferent

    but anyway, DH obviously. having my dad there was great because jack's birth was scary and my dad has always been my rock - he helped me stay strong and was a very good advocate for my comfort and health while in labor so unexpectedly. DH was shaken and he was good for moral support, but not entirely clearheaded enough to know what was going on all the time.  my dad cried a few times during my labor, which was strange for me, and at one point had to leave the room because he was having such a hard time watching his baby girl be in such pain but it was AWESOME having him there and if he wants to be there again, i would be totally on board.

  • imagechristina1313:
    I'm having a scheduled C-section, so DH and medical staff in the OR.

    This.  With DS, DH was there the whole (38 HOURS).  My mom stopped by after work, which was right about when my water broke and the contractions were hard and fast.  I asked her to leave after about 45 minutes b/c I could tell it was making her upset seeing me in so much pain.  ILs wanted to be there to whole time, but I said HELL NO.  Ended up with an emergency c-section at 1 a.m., so it was DH and medical staff.

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