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Special Needs
ASD kids: meltdown, tantrum or what?
Hi ladies -
I have zero experience with any kids (typical or SN), so my son's behavior is a little challenging for me to understand.
He is almost 17 mo and ASD. Recently he started crying for no reason; sometimes it is full blown 'flip head back, fall on the floor' crying, sometimes it is just cryin with tears and pushing me away.
He is in ABA for the last month, but no change to diet yet, and I am not sure if there are related.
I noticed that transitions became harder from him, but sometimes I do not understand what triggers it. I am not sure if this is him being a toddler or him being ASD, or both. And I am not sure how to handle: let him cry? Try to console? Try to redirect? Hoenstly, nothing really works well, but the worst is trying to touch him. Needless to say, I am still waiting for him to stop fighting me hugging him......
TIA!!!!
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Re: ASD kids: meltdown, tantrum or what?
This is a hard age especially when you have a child with ASD. I wish I could tell you that this is normal toddler behavior and some of it may be but to be honest the ASD makes it worse. It seems he is having a hard time self calming, I would not let him just cry it out at this age. I would try and find something that can help to calm him
It could very well be a sensory issue that is setting him off. My JM has issues with transitions and it started to become very obvious at this age. I got to where I could prepare him for them by giving him plenty of advance notice that we were going to be doing something different. I also stuck to a very strict routine, which helped a great deal.
Self calming activities, play doh, rocking in a rocking chair swinging, turning off the lights and putting soft music on, aroma therapy.
some common trigger points are:
Excessive noise, loud noises, not being able to achieve a goal, do something, a toy not working like she wants it to, textures, clothing,
When JM is having a bad moment I pick him up, yes still at age five, pick him up and hold him really tight I tell him that mommy understands and that I wish I could make it different for him. we will sometimes rock or sit in a bean bag chair till he can calm down. I have found that music works really well for him as well. I also created a calm down room for him, I had one of those play tents, I put lots of blankets in the bottom of it, flash light in there and we turn off all the lights and play soft music.. he loves it.
Determining if it is toddlerhood or something else is always a challenge. I was just talking about this very issue this week with Zach's SN preschool teacher.
When Zachary is in the middle of a fit, my attempts to console him will only make it worse. So I have to let him tantrum for a few minutes until he is ready for me to help him calm down. I've noticed with him a very evident sign -- he will kick his Crocs off when upset, and when he starts to put them back on, I can go and give him some deep pressure, offer a favorite book/toy, etc. I actually had our OT observe a tantrum once, and she pointed out how he would be really upset and need to be alone, come to me after a few minutes for comfort but not quite be ready (at which point I backed off again) and then finally put his shoes on and became ready for hugs.
We do lots of warning for transitions (verbal 5 mins., 2 mins., 1 min. warning, or 10 more pushes, etc. - on the timed one, I don't actually time out 5 mins. b/c he has no concept of it yet, but just give him sufficient time to get ready for the switch) and try to make them fun -- sing songs for diaper changes and pajama time, tickles, etc. Sometimes he goes off for no reason when he asks for milk, and I attempt to give him milk. At that point, I just place the milk on the floor near where he is having a fit, walk away, and let him help himself to it once he has calmed down. We're also introducing pictures to help with transitions so he better understand what to expect next (DS is very visual).
there are some activities you can do when he is not upset that will help him with that.
put a large blanket on the floor lay him on the edge of it and roll him up in the blanket, once rolled up put pressure on his arms and legs. unroll him, do this several times a day
also you can put him in a blanket and you and your dh each get an end of it and swing him
he needs the deep pressure massages etc to help him be accepting to the hugs. Try getting a bean bad, as when they sit in them they wrap them up sort of in a cocoon. My JM loves his
DS LOVES this! We actually will roll him on the floor with the blanket wrapped around him to give him even more pressure. When we unwrap him he signs frantically for "more".
DS also likes the spinny red egg chair from IKEA. It has an orange canopy that cover the front. He can hide in there and pull the canopy down when he needs a moment and otherwise loves it when we spin him round and round. Our SLP has one as well and uses it during therapy sessions.
you got some great ideas, so I won't repeat, but I just wanted to tell you I've been there... I think that's one of the hardest things about parenting an ASD toddler- figuring out what's part of the ASD and what's part of being 2, b/c in our case, it most definitely impacts how we choose to address the behavior. Tantrums and meltdowns aren't a huge issue for us (at least not right now!) but I do try really hard to figure out the subtle cues DD gives me to anticipate a possible meltdown and "intercept" it with distractions, brushing, jumping, etc. It seems to work a lot of the time for us.
Hmmmm... now that I'm reading this back, maybe it doesn't really matter if the behaviors are ASD or typical-two-year-old. I suspect most any kid would benefit from a proactive form of parenting, right? The challenge is just figuring out what kind of proactive intervention works best for your LO.
Good luck. It's an continuous learning process.