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My husband is a tool...

kittycarrkittycarr
in Parenting

When you have family, you do for your family.  My inlaws don't understand this concept.  They think anything patrick does for them, they need to pay him.  I have two opinions.  One, I'm your family, you dont' need to pay me to do favors, that's what Im supposed to do.  Two, if you keep pressing me to take it, I won't refuse it since you want me to have it so bad, I feel like I"m being rude to continuously block your efforts.  I eventually give in.

My husband, however, will continuously block the efforts.  And knows his parents will win regardless.  This time, their form of winning is buying a few box sets of XFiles.  He slipped cash back in the house after they slipped it in his car and he found it before he left last week after fixing a few things around the house.

Last time they gave money for shoveling snow, it took care of grocery shopping for the week.  We're not in the best way financially and while I'd still refuse a few bucks from them for a favor, if they pushed, I'd take it.  This time, rather than a sneaky payment in the form of xfiles box set, I wish he'd have stfu and just took the cash. 

IDK.  Maybe I'm the tool...

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Re: My husband is a tool...

  • DandelionMomDandelionMom

    He's just trying to be sweet.  But maybe tell him that he should just take the money so that they don't feel bad about calling him when they need help.

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  • kittycarrkittycarr
    I tried telling him that but he still does what he wants to.  He thinks it's funny.  No he doesn't want it, so it is sweet, but he takes it too far.  If I did something for you and really wanted to pay you, I'd be a little upset if you kept refusing over and over.  Of course, if you say no to me, I'm not going to push and push the issue like they do but you kwim.
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  • Susie2005Susie2005 member

    My MIL does the same thing.  When my DH was laid off last year she insisted on giving us some money to help out with daycare for my DS (DD wasn't here yet) so that we didn't have to pull him out and lose his spot.  DH was only out of work for 5 weeks (we got very lucky).  She is still giving us money every month.  She refuses to stop.  She wants to help.  Two kids is expensive. She's lucky to be able to do it.  Blah, blah,blah.  So, every month I deposit the money into the kids savings accounts.  Someday I'll tell her that's what I'm doing with it!

     

     

    Susie, mom to DS 4/10/07 and DD 3/6/09 (MC 9/05, 2/06) Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • kittycarrkittycarr
    HA!  If that were my situation, with my MIL, it could go either way.  I'd confess and depending on her mood she could be like "good smart girl, knew patty did good when he married you" or she'd feel cheated and taken advantage of and would never speak to us.
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  • jettagurljettagurl member

    My husband is similar....when asked what they owe him (he's and electrician BTW) he'll say something crazy cheap, like $5.  Last week he spent 5 hrs at my aunt/uncles house working/teaching my uncle...my uncle wanted to know how much, DH told him $5, and he came home with $150. 

    And I totally agree...I'd much rather have cash than X-Files.  But if I really wanted to pay someone and  they didn't want to accept it....why buy movies/gifts?  Why not get a Visa/grocery gift card?  We do that for our people on occasion - useful and not cash.

     

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  • kittycarrkittycarr

    MIL gets pissed DH won't accept it, rolls her eyes and says f*ck you you stupid ass.  But DH and FIL think it's a game as to who can sneak the money or sneak back the money without being busted. 

    This time it was fixing some plumbing.  They try to give, he says no, they insist, he says no.  Then it turns into a sneak the money game.  He finds it, gives it back, they find it before he leaves and so on.  FIL snuck it in his car by sneaking out the back of the house while dh and the kids were still inside.  Then they go to leave- theyr'e in the car, IL's in thehouse, he sees the money, sneaks it back inside without being caught, calls the house on the way down the driveway and says "look on the kitchen table" and hangs up. 

    So FIL calls the next evening casually wanting to know what xfiles seasons we do and do not have.  And as he's hanging up he says "oh yeah, this is for pat not wanting the money the other day..haha".  Click....

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