Advice from mom's of two?

Tomkat8403 · January 2010

I have fears about having more than one child even though I definitely want 2 or 3. I want total honesty here...

Does the first always hold some special place in your heart, or does the second feel like the first all over again?

Is it as exciting the second time as the first, or is it like everyone says...the second child gets everything hand me down and no excitement from friends and family?

Is life impossibly harder with two than with one?

How do you give the second one the same time, devotion and attention as the first?

jason&robin · January 2010

I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. Before DD came, I was very worried because I felt so connected with DS. I think it helped that they were different sexes. They are very different to me. I absolutely fell in love with DD. DS is at the age where daddy is #1. Since I bf, DH does a lot of the care for DS. He feeds him his dinner, bathes him and puts him to bed. I definitely try to take time to spend with DS by ourselves...usually when DD is sleeping. I think it has all worked out. You just have to take one day at a time. DD is definitely a mommy's girl so she goes everywhere with me. I feel very close to her. Since she was born, I feel like I have gotten closer with DS too.

BitterOldHag · January 2010

Tomkat8403:

I have fears about having more than one child even though I definitely want 2 or 3. I want total honesty here...

Does the first always hold some special place in your heart, or does the second feel like the first all over again? They are both infinitely precious

Is it as exciting the second time as the first, or is it like everyone says...the second child gets everything hand me down and no excitement from friends and family? n/a too close in age to answer

Is life impossibly harder with two than with one? yes, but impossibly rewarding as well

How do you give the second one the same time, devotion and attention as the first? you do your damndest. some days you succeed and others you fail.

Tomkat8403 · January 2010

Thank you for your reassurance...and for the eye candy in your siggy. Wink

jason&robin · January 2010

I forgot to mention. I have found that family tends to be a little more interested in #1. He can interact and play. I think it will be a lot different once #2 gets older.

kiki-W · January 2010

i found out i was PG with my 2nd and i had a lot of worries i would have a hard time with 2 under 2, but i just adjusted to it.

i love each one just the same and really have no problems finding alone time for each one.

life is not harder. adding one more baby to the mix is easy. adjusting to 1 was much more difficult.

#2 may get more quality time. i am more comfortable being a mom and life is not nearly a stressful. i am not afraid of doing things wrong and i am more confident as a mom.

#2 kinda gets the shaft a little. no party and new stuff. but at the end of the day you see none of that matters. with #2 you know what you are doing and it is easier to do more.

i am out all the time with the kids, i can cook and clean and now more than ever cherish my weekly mom's night out with my sahm friends.

Tomkat8403 · January 2010

BitterOldHag:
Tomkat8403:

I have fears about having more than one child even though I definitely want 2 or 3. I want total honesty here...

Does the first always hold some special place in your heart, or does the second feel like the first all over again? They are both infinitely precious

Is it as exciting the second time as the first, or is it like everyone says...the second child gets everything hand me down and no excitement from friends and family? n/a too close in age to answer

Is life impossibly harder with two than with one? yes, but impossibly rewarding as well

How do you give the second one the same time, devotion and attention as the first? you do your damndest. some days you succeed and others you fail.

You totally have my awe and respect for taking care of twins. It's so cool, but I can't even imagine how hard... Smile

JARbaby · January 2010

Your first will always be special. But you will love #2 equally and for different reasons and in different ways. See my tickers. #2 is amazing because IMO I savored the little NB more. I cherish her being little more. With #1 you can't wait to see what is next. It is as exciting. Julia gets new stuff because she is gigantic and she likes different toys than C did. The first year is a ton of work but it is wonderful. We do things as a family, we do things each with one child, we do things alone with both. Last night I gave Julia a bath alone while DH and C cleaned up the kitchen. The night before I got C ready for bed alone. Then T night I gave them a bath together. It all works out.

Symharmony · January 2010

Does the first always hold some special place in your heart, or does the second feel like the first all over again? My first will always hold a special place, because he was my first. However, I couldn't imagine a world without my second LO in it. It feels like the first all over again just with the more experience.

Is it as exciting the second time as the first, or is it like everyone says...the second child gets everything hand me down and no excitement from friends and family? It's exciting for us and our families. The only thing that makes me sad is my DH's family lives in NY and no one has seen Sebastian yet. We plan on going to NY in the Spring, so they can meet him. We just wish that someone in the family had seen him sooner, since he will be 13 months by the time we will visit. Also Sebastian wears some of his brother's hand me downs, but I love buying baby clothes, so he has a lot of new stuff, too.

Is life impossibly harder with two than with one? It can be more challenging. I usually wait for DH to come home before we do any grocery shopping. I think twice about going to certain places, if I know there could be a potential breakdown by one of the kids. It gets easier as they get older though. Although, I still do a lot of the same things that I did with my first like shopping, and such. I don't go anywhere without my double stroller.

How do you give the second one the same time, devotion and attention as the first? Both my babies were and are breastfed, so that is a great bonding time. I make to give them plenty of hugs and kisses. Plus, I have my DH who can take care of one, so I can have special time with the other.

Hopefully, this helps. I love both of my kids equally, and although some days it can be hard and overwhelming, they both make me smile. Watching my both of my LOs become more aware of their world and hearing the new words that they say. Everyday is a new adventure, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

kiki-W · January 2010

JARbaby:
Your first will always be special. But you will love #2 equally and for different reasons and in different ways. See my tickers. #2 is amazing because IMO I savored the little NB more. I cherish her being little more. With #1 you can't wait to see what is next. It is as exciting. Julia gets new stuff because she is gigantic and she likes different toys than C did. The first year is a ton of work but it is wonderful. We do things as a family, we do things each with one child, we do things alone with both. Last night I gave Julia a bath alone while DH and C cleaned up the kitchen. The night before I got C ready for bed alone. Then T night I gave them a bath together. It all works out.

totally this!

after having 1 you see how fast time moves, and with the 2nd, no matter if it is more work or more stressful, you cherish every day with that little baby even more. B/c now you know how fast time moves!

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