Babies: 3 - 6 Months

My friend told me I let myself go

The other night I had dinner with a few friends who I haven't seen since DD was about a month old.  I was wearing maternity jeans, mostly because my wardrobe is pretty limited right now and I can't afford to go out and buy a ton of new clothes...plus I'm trying to lose weight!  I thought I looked nice, but I dropped something and when I bent over to pick it up my friend noticed the elastic band and immediately pointed it out.  I told her everything I said above and she told me it makes me look like I let myself go.  I just pretended I didn't hear her say it and tried to enjoy the night.  She made a few other comments that were a little hurtful to me so I just finished my dinner, paid my bill left.

I don't think she was trying to be mean, but the more I think about it, the angrier I get.  I think I can consider it a friendship that's come to an end. 

Re: My friend told me I let myself go

  • My feelings would have been hurt too.  I'm assuming that your friend isn't a mom (or else she would 'get it')?  Is it really worth just ending the friendship instead of talking to her about it?  Some of my friends are pretty blunt (and I'm the same) so maybe she wasn't aware of how hurtful she was being. 
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  • I would definitely say that y'all's friendship sounds like it has sun its course. Those comments are extremely hurtful. Everyone expects new mothers look like Heidi Klum. Its frustrating. My body image is in the crapper so those comments would have probably made me cry.
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  • That sucks! I would be upset too!  But at the same time like you said I wouldn't want a friend like that.  Like it's not hard enought dealing with all the things that come with having a baby.  I wore my maternity jeans up until 2 weeks ago and everyone who saw that I was wearing them said it was ok...you still look great! You need to surround yourself with supportive people, not someone who's judgemental.  
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  • What a beeotch =/ I'm sorry she said those things!!
  • What a judgemental b!tch.  Is she a good friend who you can talk about this to, or just a casual friend who you'd rather just not see anymore?
  • I am sorry! Try not to let those hurtful comments get to you, though! I would have told her to kiss my fat a** :) In a joking way of course :) But you are right, it is hard to have people around you who hurt your feelings.......
  • I would have gotten in my car and cried.  Your friend needs a reality check!  After I had DD it took me 10 months to get my body sort of back.  Throat punch for sure.
  • Apparently she is not a mother. I am still in maternity jeans! I have such low body image as it is I would have broke down in tears in front of her. That is just mean and insensitive.
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    What a horrible thing to say, and how mean to point out to everyone that you were wearing maternity jeans (not that it matters anyway!) but who likes something be pointed out in a negative way like that.

    I wouldn't want a 'friend' like that either

  • A friend (who is very obese) came to see me a week after I had DD and when I stood up she pointed to my stomach and said, "So is that like, fat, or is it going to go away?"  I said I had a baby a week ago and it doesn't just disappear.  She left and I cried.  BTW, I was only 10 pounds heavier than prepregnancy.

    Did the other girls say anything to her? Don't let it get to you.  She'll figure it out if she ever has kids.  I'm sure you look fantastic!

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