I have read your posts, ladies. It seems my kind of IF is different than most of yours. I will never have a BFP. So can I take a minute to explain my IF?
When I was sixteen, I went to the doctor because I had not had a period yet. That's right, sixteen and no period.
After many blood tests, examinations, MRIs and a sonogram, we found out I had no cervix, uterus or ovaries. My vaginal length was the same as a 2 year old females.
I had a blood test to find out if I was genetically male or female. I was SO embarrassed! BTW, I'm female I have the blood tests to prove it.
I had surgery to remove tissue that was probably the start of ovaries forming. They had stopped and then dropped. Had they been left, they would have turned cancerous later.
I also had to use dilators to increase vaginal length. If I hadn't, then I would have not had much of a sex life I was actually told that I would never orgasm!
I have been through hell and back with this. After a couple of years, I was even given a name for my diagnosis: Mayer Rokitansky Kuster Hauser Syndrome, or MRKH.
I know that I'll have to adopt. Science hasn't come far enough for me to have surgery with an artificial reproductive system.
And my vaginal length, I'm happy to say, is smaller than most, but more normal They thought I'd have to have a skin graft from my knee to almost my hip in order to create vaginal length.
I also have to take hormone pills to regulate my hormones, which caused me to go from 100% flat chested to a large B-small C cup in a very small amount of time. I also have breast pain constantly, even though we've changed the meds and dosages many times. It is so bad at times I can't even stand being hugged.
And that's my story I was once so sad and depressed I wanted to kill myself but after a lot of soul searching and praying, I'm here today and stronger than ever!
I just wanted to share my story with you ladies. Like I said, I'll never be pregnant. I know this And it sucks!
But, ya know, I don't get a period....so NA NA NA NA NA NA!
Seriously, tho? I'd like to experience that Just once...
My story is actually a lot more complicated, but that's the short version. Please, if you have any questions, PM me.
Re: My kind of IF...maybe long? Maybe TMI?
Gosh. All this time we've been chatting and I did not know this. Wow. You must be one hell of a woman!
Thank you so much for sharing with us.
Aw, thank you! The funny thing is that most people don't even realize what I've been through because MRKH does not define me, KWIM?
But I feel safe with you women, so I wanted to share.
Girl- you sound like you've been through a lot and are a strong woman. I am glad you are in a better place now and no longer depressed.
I'm glad you're on this board- love your posts and support-
Have you started your adoption journey yet? I hope you will still stay on this board regardless- even when you are pursuing adoption. Good luck with your adoption!
I hope they can figure something out though so your boobs don't hurt anymore :-( ouch.
I fully plan to stay on this board! I love this board. I haven't really started my adoption journey yet. My plan is to start in about four years. I'm only 22, so no rush!
As far as the boobs hurting, well, I've learned to deal with it and 99% of the time, it's not too horrible. I do tend to get cramps so bad that I cannot move, but doctors have yet to figure THAT one out.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are no doubt a very strong woman.
Sending you non boob crushing ((hugs)) ;-)
I definitely KWYM. And I feel the need to say that I tried for like 2 minutes to pronounce your diagnosis.
Thank you for sharing your journey! You are amazingly strong!
Wishing you nothing but luck
TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
Clomid/Femara no "O"
IVF #1 BFN
FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
my blog
Wow. You certainly have been through a lot. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It just proves even more that we all have our individual journeys. I wish you all the luck in the world with adoption (and I'm jealous of no period! LOL!).
You are an amazingly strong woman, hun. ::hugs::
I really respect and admire the fact that not only you appear to have dealt with the hand that you were given with a lot of grace and dignity, but that you also took a big chunk of something very personal and put it on public view in the hopes of educating all of us to your situation.
Thank you for trusting us and sharing your story.
Wow, ladies, all of your awesome responses seriously made me cry!
It's always funny to hear people say I'm strong and an inspiration because this is my life and I just take one day at a time!
And for the one who said they can't pronounce it, here ya go!
My-er Rock-it-tan-skie Kuster Howser
But MRKH works too, LOL.
And I'm hell bent on people learning about MRKH because most people aren't aware of it! I took a friend's nursing book and guess what? No mention of it!
When I go for doctor appointments, I always have to inform the nurses and doctor of MRKH.
The nurses are cute:
Nurse: So when was your last period?
Me: I don't get periods.
Nurse: So, last month?
Me: No, I don't get periods. At all.
Nurse: I thought you weren't pregnant?
Me: I'm not. I have MRKH. I don't get periods.
Nurse: So you haven't had one this month yet?
Me: No, I don't get periods AT ALL.
Nurse: ....
It's kind of funny by now.
Again, thanks for the fully awesome responses! I was so nervous to post this, but I'm glad I did now!
Surprise Pregnancy 02/11!
Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm glad this is a place where you can be yourself and get support. I have a very good friend with MRKH. I think it's wonderful that you are getting information out there about this diagnosis.
I'm glad you're here, and I truly wish you the best with your adoption journey!
IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!
::wraps arms around you and gives a tight squeeze::
You're a beautiful, fun, loving woman and getting to know you over these past several months has really touched my heart. You have your good days and your bad days, but in the end you pull yourself up by the boot straps and keep on, keepin' on. I've learned a lot from you and this board, but most of all I've learned how strong, brave and courageous all of us are.
Thank you for sharing and thank you for being so wonderful.
Thank you so much, Tarah!
You know, I made the decision long ago that I can pity myself and be all "woe is me!" or I can say "you know, this sucks, but let's keep going"....but no matter what, there is NOTHING that can change this situation! I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. So, why would I go through life angry and sad?
Besides, I have SO many blessings in life!
Wow! That is crazy. Thanks for sharing with us. Do they know what causes something like that or is it just one of those out-of-left-field sort of things?
And do you have any idea how much money you've saved not having to buy pads and tampons? Man those things are pricey!
You are an amazing, strong woman.
(((hugs)))
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
My IF/Everything Blog
There's No Crying in Baseball
***My posts are always SAIFW**
This. Wow, you are so strong!
Jebuell, they really don't know much about it. It's thought that perhaps the male carries the gene, but there just isn't enough research because it was just lumped into a general IF category for SO long. I know women in their sixties who are so glad to have a name for their diagnosis after so many years. It is also thought that perhaps Queen Elizabeth I had MRKH
Also, YES! I know how much money I am saving. And my DH loves that he doesn't have to run out to the store for me to buy them.
Thank you so much for sharing! I totally look up to you for letting us all into your world. Thank you! I wish you so much in your continued journey.