s/o ferberizing

AMYfromKY · January 2010

How long have you let your LO cry alone. I'm not passing judgement on anyone...I'm just curious.

I'd have to say maybe 10 minutes on our way home one time. I pulled over, but he wouldn't calm down so I had to drive with him crying. It was so upsetting for both of us.

abbybff09 · January 2010

I'm the same way when I'm driving the longest I have let him cry in the car was 20 minutes on our way down to DH's work for lunch. It was raining cats and dogs and I just could not pull off the freeway, by the time we got to dh's work I was crying too!

I'm not passing judgement on those who ferberize, but I just couldn't do it. I know a lot of people that it really worked for.

orleyl · January 2010

Maybe a minute or two if I am making her a bottle and she is crying but really I dont let her cry. But she really does not cry that much so we are lucky and she is sttn. If things were different I am sure I would let her cry longer.

zoieglow · January 2010

The only time I let him cry for long is in the car on the way home from daycare. It's a 15 minute drive and he usually cries through it. He's just fussy at night. It's close to his bedtime and there's nothing that settles him down on that drive sometimes.

mckelvykr · January 2010

Only on purpose once. I was so incredibly frustrated with her that I had to put her in her crib & take a breather. I didn't time it, but I could hear her crying while I tried to calm down so it didn't help any.

juliane2004 · January 2010

I let her cry if we are in the car and driving. Usually she just starts crying when we stop (at a red light) and stops crying when we go again.

We drove to a place 45 minutes away, and she cried in the first 10 mintues, so I pulled over and fed her.

Otherwise (at home), I'll let her fuss until she actually cries (I don't usually go in if it's grunting and stuff). When she cries, I go in, try to soothe her, put her paci in, stroke her forehead to her nose and when she calms down, I walk out. I repeat this for about up to 5 times (so she, if crying the whole time interspaced with me calming her down lasts about 20 minutes), but if she's really crying and not calming down at all I dont usually let it continue after about 5 minutes.

MrsBeckO · January 2010

I don't really count time in the car as "letting them cry" unless you are driving somewhere frivolous like the mall, maybe. If its a trip you have to make, and they happen to cry in the car.. its kind of out of your control. Ya know?

We don't let her cry. I can't handle it. Lucky for us, she is a champion sleeper so we haven't had to worry about sleep training.. I seriously don't know what we would do if things were different.

I do not knock the ferber method though, I have known many people with wonderful success stories and whose children are wonderfully happy kids. I just can't do it. I'm a big wimp. I won't deny it.

evhamm · January 2010

To be honest, about an hour, but like other posters said, if you're driving and you can't do anything about it (like on a major freeway and stopping on the side would put your lives in danger).

With tonight's Ferberizing, he's calming down every 10 mins or so, not crying continuously. He even self-soothed for a while after 1hour of starting, but alas, 2 hours later, we're still suffering with a fussy infant. When he starts crying to the point of coughing, that's when we pick him up and soothe him again.

MrsErinnElizabeth · January 2010

I don't consider crying in the car to be 'crying alone'. She knows I'm there and soothing her. It's totally different than putting them in a room, closing the door, and trying to ignore their cries, IMO.

In saying that, we've had two car meltdowns. I pulled over and fed her for one of them, and the other was two minutes from our house, so I just sang to her until we got home. Besides the car, I never let her cry for more than a few seconds...I can't take it!

mrsxoxo1598 · January 2010

those who posted about lo's crying in the car... have you tried white noise (am/static station)? when ds isn't hungry, white noise works every time.

we don't ever "let" ds cry intentionally, at most he's cried 10-15 minutes when i was too sick to pick him up when he was a lot younger (medical issues).

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