This morning

g's_mom · January 2010

After everything that's gone down this morning, I don't think I'll be posting here. I've been lurking here for a long time and was always hesitant to make my grand appearance but now I'm scared shiitless. Yes, I understand you're hurt but to claim that you're supportive and then to treat people the way you did is terrible IMO.

No, you didn't have to be supportive but did you have to be so cruel?

Now flame away or go tell me to FRO like really mature people do.

Oh and just to cover all my bases. G is my dog.

kimarino13 · January 2010

Alrighty then.

There is a ton of support here. Hell, I am pregnant and I know a lot of girls here have my back regardless of that fact. The support here is for the ladies we get to know. The ladies who post here regularly and share their experiences and support others in return. If you have been lurking here a long time, surely you know this to be true.

Yellow_Daisy · January 2010

Is this really necessary?

I don't know your background so I won't make assumptions as to what you have been through, but I also don't think with 2 posts under your belt (1 being this post) that you should make assumptions about people you obviously don't know.

Good luck to you I am sure there is a board somewhere that is a better fit for you, but you are probably not meant for this one given your current feelings. I hope you get your BFP soon.

LCB34 · January 2010

I'm sorry you feel this way. This board is a wonderful place for support - as I'm sure you have noticed if you really have been lurking.

But, it is terribly inappropriate to come flaunt a positive pregnancy test to a board filled with women that are struggling with infertility.

It is a really simple concept - give some support and you will receive some support. However, like anything in life, it is rude to simply take support and never offer anything back.

I'm sure every woman here is happy for everyone that gets a BFP - as we do not wish infertility on anyone. But, I think it is important to use some tact when announcing a pregnancy.

You wouldn't run into a group of strangers and yell about your pregnancy - so why do the same thing hear?

Again, I hope you will give this board a try as it has gotten my through my darkest times.

Best wishes to you.

MrsP71506 · January 2010

LCB34:
I'm sorry you feel this way. This board is a wonderful place for support - as I'm sure you have noticed if you really have been lurking.

But, it is terribly inappropriate to come flaunt a positive pregnancy test to a board filled with women that are struggling with infertility.

It is a really simple concept - give some support and you will receive some support. However, like anything in life, it is rude to simply take support and never offer anything back.

I'm sure every woman here is happy for everyone that gets a BFP - as we do not wish infertility on anyone. But, I think it is important to use some tact when announcing a pregnancy.

You wouldn't run into a group of strangers and yell about your pregnancy - so why do the same thing hear?

Again, I hope you will give this board a try as it has gotten my through my darkest times.

Best wishes to you.

very well said!

and to the OP if you truly are a lurker (which after your post I don't think you are) you would see that the women on this board are extremely supportive and there is no way that I would be able to survive the world of IF without them. And everyday I am grateful that this board is here and the women on it.

2006july15bride · January 2010

LCB34:

I'm sorry you feel this way. This board is a wonderful place for support - as I'm sure you have noticed if you really have been lurking.

But, it is terribly inappropriate to come flaunt a positive pregnancy test to a board filled with women that are struggling with infertility.

It is a really simple concept - give some support and you will receive some support. However, like anything in life, it is rude to simply take support and never offer anything back.

I'm sure every woman here is happy for everyone that gets a BFP - as we do not wish infertility on anyone. But, I think it is important to use some tact when announcing a pregnancy.

You wouldn't run into a group of strangers and yell about your pregnancy - so why do the same thing hear?

Again, I hope you will give this board a try as it has gotten my through my darkest times.

Best wishes to you.

Well said. I too think this board is a wonderful place. I said it before and I will say it again...It is often the only place I feel I fit in these days.

MZANS · January 2010

Unsupportive women coming onto this board to announce a BFP does not give us hope. It just makes us jealous, bitter and annoyed.

It's not hard....offer us support and we'll be there for you. If you've never offered support you are nothing but a stranger showing off your BFP.

EMTTessie · January 2010

I'm usually a non confrontational person, but it's a post like this that really upsets me and I just have to say something. You claim to have lurked for a long time, but can't understand why this morning's post would upset so many people. Yes we are all supportive, understanding, caring, I would even say loving of each other. We are also protective as hell of each other, just as any family would be, and if we have to get nasty with someone who hurts us, then so be it. If you are so scared to post or get flamed, why post this in the first place? Why not just either continue to lurk and get more of a feel for the group or just walk away knowing that this may not be the group for you? When people who we know nothing about or have no history with this group decide to post "Hey guess what I got KU and so can you!", that's not giving us hope...that's called rubbing salt into the wound. I've been part of this board for about 6 months now, and while I don't post every single day, I do comment on people's posts and offer support and encouragement when it's needed. I don't expect to know everyone nor do I expect everyone to know me, but when NO ONE knows you and you post a drive by BFP...again that is just insulting, extremely rude and the worst kind of slap in the face any of us could get. I'm sorry that you don't truely grasp the greatness of this group and that you choose to only look at the drama others create while putting on blinders to the tons and tons of support we have offered everyone else.

kimarino13 · January 2010

EMTTessie:
I'm usually a non confrontational person, but it's a post like this that really upsets me and I just have to say something. You claim to have lurked for a long time, but can't understand why this morning's post would upset so many people. Yes we are all supportive, understanding, caring, I would even say loving of each other. We are also protective as hell of each other, just as any family would be, and if we have to get nasty with someone who hurts us, then so be it. If you are so scared to post or get flamed, why post this in the first place? Why not just either continue to lurk and get more of a feel for the group or just walk away knowing that this may not be the group for you? When people who we know nothing about or have no history with this group decide to post "Hey guess what I got KU and so can you!", that's not giving us hope...that's called rubbing salt into the wound. I've been part of this board for about 6 months now, and while I don't post every single day, I do comment on people's posts and offer support and encouragement when it's needed. I don't expect to know everyone nor do I expect everyone to know me, but when NO ONE knows you and you post a drive by BFP...again that is just insulting, extremely rude and the worst kind of slap in the face any of us could get. I'm sorry that you don't truely grasp the greatness of this group and that you choose to only look at the drama others create while putting on blinders to the tons and tons of support we have offered everyone else.

Yes

sweetcaroline10 · January 2010

EMTTessie:
I'm usually a non confrontational person, but it's a post like this that really upsets me and I just have to say something. You claim to have lurked for a long time, but can't understand why this morning's post would upset so many people. Yes we are all supportive, understanding, caring, I would even say loving of each other. We are also protective as hell of each other, just as any family would be, and if we have to get nasty with someone who hurts us, then so be it. If you are so scared to post or get flamed, why post this in the first place? Why not just either continue to lurk and get more of a feel for the group or just walk away knowing that this may not be the group for you? When people who we know nothing about or have no history with this group decide to post "Hey guess what I got KU and so can you!", that's not giving us hope...that's called rubbing salt into the wound. I've been part of this board for about 6 months now, and while I don't post every single day, I do comment on people's posts and offer support and encouragement when it's needed. I don't expect to know everyone nor do I expect everyone to know me, but when NO ONE knows you and you post a drive by BFP...again that is just insulting, extremely rude and the worst kind of slap in the face any of us could get. I'm sorry that you don't truely grasp the greatness of this group and that you choose to only look at the drama others create while putting on blinders to the tons and tons of support we have offered everyone else.

Perfectly said.

njdcgirl · January 2010

I don't know why, if you have been lurking, you would be scared shiitless to post here... we have many, many intros every day that go over well....even at least one this morning. You make an intro, tell your background and IF history, and begin to offer support. In the beginning, I mostly responded to posts just saying congrats or giving hugs, since I was just starting treatment and didn't have much to offer in advice. Then, I began asking questions about my cycle, treatments, and dx. That's how you become part of a board....over time, by asking and recieving support from others going through the same thing.

Honestly, I usually stay out of the drama posts, b/c people who just don't get it are NEVER going to get it. However, like many of the ladies who chimed in this morning, I think there is CLEARLY a difference in making an intro and joining a board (over time) then jumping in after even one or two posts and announce a BFP.

Like any other board, if you lurk, join in over time, and become part of the support system, you are only going to get support in return. GL to you.

baze2 · January 2010

I am sorry you feel this way. But my questions is why would you post this? Why would you tell us you are leaving? If you don't post on a regular basis, just go quietly like you came. It is ok..

Don't get me wrong..I wish the best for you. I want you to find a board that offers you the support that you need. I also hope you get your BFP quickly.

I don't post everyday. Not everyone knows me here but I am here for the women who are here for me. As someone said above, I can not imagine going through this maze of IF without the support of these ladies. Sometimes I think they are my lifeline!

Good luck to you.

ichoosehope · January 2010

If you have lurked on here a long time, you would know how inappropriate it was to announce a pregnancy in your first post on an IF board.

LobsterGirl · January 2010

EMTTessie:
I'm usually a non confrontational person, but it's a post like this that really upsets me and I just have to say something. You claim to have lurked for a long time, but can't understand why this morning's post would upset so many people. Yes we are all supportive, understanding, caring, I would even say loving of each other. We are also protective as hell of each other, just as any family would be, and if we have to get nasty with someone who hurts us, then so be it. If you are so scared to post or get flamed, why post this in the first place? Why not just either continue to lurk and get more of a feel for the group or just walk away knowing that this may not be the group for you? When people who we know nothing about or have no history with this group decide to post "Hey guess what I got KU and so can you!", that's not giving us hope...that's called rubbing salt into the wound. I've been part of this board for about 6 months now, and while I don't post every single day, I do comment on people's posts and offer support and encouragement when it's needed. I don't expect to know everyone nor do I expect everyone to know me, but when NO ONE knows you and you post a drive by BFP...again that is just insulting, extremely rude and the worst kind of slap in the face any of us could get. I'm sorry that you don't truely grasp the greatness of this group and that you choose to only look at the drama others create while putting on blinders to the tons and tons of support we have offered everyone else.

Well said.

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