:steps onto soapbox: (re: BSC $1000/mo Lady)

armandos_girl · January 2010

Disclaimer: This is aimed at no one in particular, I've just seen it a lot lately as we've been discussing the topic.

It irks me when people go on and on about how they feel sorry for her kids because of the small apartment, the food she makes for them, or the presents she gets them for their birthday. It really irks me when people infer that her kids are abused or neglected because of this. The kids are fed, clothed and loved by two parents. There are plenty of abused and neglected kids out there, these kids do not rank in my book.

Don't get me wrong - there are plenty of other things that make her completely batshitcrazy in my opinion. But a small apartment, boxed macaroni and cheese and Matchbox toys for birthday presents aren't that big of a deal.

:steps off soapbox and puts on flame-retardant suit:

msjcordova · January 2010

Agree! My mom was just telling me a story of child at her work ( she is a grade school secretary) and one of the little girls was crying in the office because she missed her dad. After finding out what happened, the little girls mom is on drugs and the dad doesn't want to see them even tho he told them " they are his little girls and he will always love them" now thats sad.

robinsokj · January 2010

I dont think its the size so much as the unsafe stacked clutter everywhere that could potentially tumble on one of them

leslie13510 · January 2010

Can I feel sorry for them because they have to eat pasta made out of flour and water? Because I would not want to eat hardened paste.

I don't think they're abusing their kids either. I think they could clean some things up to make the house a lot safer for them, and try and provide better food, but it's not the end of the world. I do however think she is completely nucking futs for many other reasons though. LOL

mrs.maybride · January 2010

I don't think she's abusing or neglecting her kids, but I think she could be providing them a better life than she is. I think she's completely insane and trying to live like this to prove a point, not because she truly thinks it's what's best for her kids/family.

mrsmacias2008 · January 2010

I don't know her whole back story but I just think the size is small. It's just DH and I at our place, and I go crazy there. It's a good idea to save money any way you can....I try to do that everyday and hopefully will get better when I have kids.

were people commenting on her blog about the toys she got for her kids? I did see a post where she wasn't going to let anonymous comments anymore. That's sad.

Melaneigh1 · January 2010

I wouldn't classify them as "abused" either. I do think they are going to grow up in a situation that will be more difficult than other kids (i.e. having a bsc mom), but different life experiences are good, for the most part. And the kids are loved. I'm sorry they don't get to use shampoo, though, and I wonder what their futures will hold if they disagree with their parents on values.

And Leslie, I think a cuteness warning is needed on your siggy pic.

mrsmacias2008 · January 2010

stupid bump! I wasn't done!

yeah, it's the clutter that worries me. You can discipline your kids and teach them right, but accidents happen.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

Melaneigh:
I wouldn't classify them as "abused" either. I do think they are going to grow up in a situation that will be more difficult than other kids (i.e. having a bsc mom), but different life experiences are good, for the most part. And the kids are loved. I'm sorry they don't get to use shampoo, though, and I wonder what their futures will hold if they disagree with their parents on values.
And Leslie, I think a cuteness warning is needed on your siggy pic.

I did not see this. Does she wash their hair with homemade soap?

See...I totally get wanting to be as self-sufficient as possible and wanting to reduce your carbon footprint and such, but I really, REALLY think this woman is putting her kids through this for show. And she's obviously TRYING to make money, because if she wasn't she wouldn't blog about it, you know? She'd just do it and wouldn't be public about it. I question their feeling that the internet is a "necessary" expense when they won't pay for a $1.00 bottle of Suave for their family at the $ tree.

IMO, there's something not right about that.

armandos_girl · January 2010

mrsmacias2008:
I don't know her whole back story but I just think the size is small. It's just DH and I at our place, and I go crazy there. It's a good idea to save money any way you can....I try to do that everyday and hopefully will get better when I have kids.

were people commenting on her blog about the toys she got for her kids? I did see a post where she wasn't going to let anonymous comments anymore. That's sad.

It's an old post. The kids got garage sale toys that were $2 and $3 for their birthday.

Maybride - I agree with you, she is doing this to prove a point, but I think she is delusional enough that she does think it's best for her kids/family. It's not the way that I would choose to raise kids that's for sure and if I had to live on $1000/mo I certainly wouldn't allocate my money the same way she does.

kittybits21 · January 2010

Agree with you that abused or neglected are not the right words.I've been on both sides of the spectrum concerning money, and different people have different ways of dealing with it. It's one thing to say "I'd never do that," quite another to say "You shouldn't do that." I don't enjoy the comments that tell people what to do ~ unless it is asked for, or there is someone in danger.

ETA: we are giant nerds and even we don't have that many Star Trek books. lol.

Mrs_Liberto · January 2010

mrs.maybride:
I don't think she's abusing or neglecting her kids, but I think she could be providing them a better life than she is. I think she's completely insane and trying to live like this to prove a point, not because she truly thinks it's what's best for her kids/family.

This.

Also, I think that her ideas regarding dental care do border on abuse (she believes dental care is unnecessary and a luxury as long as they all brush their teeth).

Also, as several of her commenters have stated, there is no way her family can be getting the calories they need with the diet she feeds them. Further, she does not plan on having a bigger budget once they have more kids; she plans on stretching what they have to feed more mouths. That = less calories overall. Her three kids might be fine now, but I think if she continues to have children they will be borderline starving under her current dietary restrictions.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

armandos_girl:
mrsmacias2008:
I don't know her whole back story but I just think the size is small. It's just DH and I at our place, and I go crazy there. It's a good idea to save money any way you can....I try to do that everyday and hopefully will get better when I have kids.

were people commenting on her blog about the toys she got for her kids? I did see a post where she wasn't going to let anonymous comments anymore. That's sad.
It's an old post. The kids got garage sale toys that were $2 and $3 for their birthday.
Maybride - I agree with you, she is doing this to prove a point, but I think she is delusional enough that she does think it's best for her kids/family. It's not the way that I would choose to raise kids that's for sure and if I had to live on $1000/mo I certainly wouldn't allocate my money the same way she does.

I do think it's incredibly sad that the kids got used toys for their birthdays, but that's probably because I grew up going back-to-school shopping at the Salvation Army and Goodwill and vividly remember asking my mother (when I was 10 or so) if I'd ever get anything brand new.

I dunno...I just think there's something not special about that. I'd never flame her for it on her blog, but I think it's sad. Especially when she makes money and could probably afford a NEW toy for them.

lo45fd98wq32 · January 2010

Mrs_Liberto:

mrs.maybride:
I don't think she's abusing or neglecting her kids, but I think she could be providing them a better life than she is. I think she's completely insane and trying to live like this to prove a point, not because she truly thinks it's what's best for her kids/family.

This.

Also, I think that her ideas regarding dental care do border on abuse (she believes dental care is unnecessary and a luxury as long as they all brush their teeth).

Also, as several of her commenters have stated, there is no way her family can be getting the calories they need with the diet she feeds them. Further, she does not plan on having a bigger budget once they have more kids; she plans on stretching what they have to feed more mouths. That = less calories overall. Her three kids might be fine now, but I think if she continues to have children they will be borderline starving under her current dietary restrictions.

I have to agree. I honestly do look at it as abuse and neglect but she is unwilling to improve her situation, when many things could. Taking WIC or government assistance could help. Getting a job could help. Not working at Wal-Mart could help. Instead, she is knowingly putting her children in a terrible situtation.

I eat processed food, and I've lived in small apartments. I used to get Christmases solely because of layaway. That doesn't bother me. It's more the attitude.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

Mrs_Liberto:
mrs.maybride:
I don't think she's abusing or neglecting her kids, but I think she could be providing them a better life than she is. I think she's completely insane and trying to live like this to prove a point, not because she truly thinks it's what's best for her kids/family.
This.
Also, I think that her ideas regarding dental care do border on abuse (she believes dental care is unnecessary and a luxury as long as they all brush their teeth).
Also, as several of her commenters have stated, there is no way her family can be getting the calories they need with the diet she feeds them. Further, she does not plan on having a bigger budget once they have more kids; she plans on stretching what they have to feed more mouths. That = less calories overall. Her three kids might be fine now, but I think if she continues to have children they will be borderline starving under her current dietary restrictions.

I did not know about the italicized quote, but totally agree with you.

And completely, 100% agree with you on the second, bolded part.

murphyec · January 2010

I agree however, it makes me very angry when she earns money from her blog which she doesn't spend to better her kid's diets. She is a total martyr.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

murphyec:
I agree however, it makes me very angry when she earns money from her blog which she doesn't spend to better her kid's diets. She is a total martyr.

I hope you mean that sarcastically.

Mrs_Liberto · January 2010

murphyec:
I agree however, it makes me very angry when she earns money from her blog which she doesn't spend to better her kid's diets. She is a total martyr.

Oh, yeah, on this point.

A few commenters have pointed out that due to her blog money + secret shopper money + EITC and other "extra" cash, they actually have a roughly $2k per month income. But they refuse to count that "extra" income.

I'm beginning to wonder if she's not playing with a full deck.

jCamsquared · January 2010

mrs.maybride:
I think she's completely insane and trying to live like this to prove a point, not because she truly thinks it's what's best for her kids/family.

This and

mrs.maybride:
See...I totally get wanting to be as self-sufficient as possible and wanting to reduce your carbon footprint and such, but I really, REALLY think this woman is putting her kids through this for show. And she's obviously TRYING to make money, because if she wasn't she wouldn't blog about it, you know? She'd just do it and wouldn't be public about it.

This.

The whole thing kinda screams balloon boy to me.

kittybits21 · January 2010

Mrs_Liberto:
Also, I think that her ideas regarding dental care do border on abuse (she believes dental care is unnecessary and a luxury as long as they all brush their teeth).

hold the phone. no dental care? ok changed my mind. that's just not right. plaque leads to all sorts of problems. and brushing teeth won't do anything if you have bad gums. as my mom used to say, there's a reason all the ancient egyptians died of heart attacks.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

kittybits21:
Mrs_Liberto:
Also, I think that her ideas regarding dental care do border on abuse (she believes dental care is unnecessary and a luxury as long as they all brush their teeth).
hold the phone. no dental care? ok changed my mind. that's just not right. plaque leads to all sorts of problems. and brushing teeth won't do anything if you have bad gums. as my mom used to say, there's a reason all the ancient egyptians died of heart attacks.

so, do they not go to the doctor, too? For well-child visits or for sick visits?

mmk3742 · January 2010

I don't feel she is abusing or neglecting her kids. (Although I think the dental care being a luxury is borderling neglect.) But for bdays, you could at least get the kids a new toy even if the rest of the year it is all used things.

I don't like some of her views about eating cheaply. Dh and I eat extremely cheaply, but still healthily. If you cut coupons and shop sales, you can get much better quality foods for very cheap and they could improve their diet drastically. If I cut out all the things I buy just because I want them, I could probably eat very healthily for less than 200 a month. Probably could get it down to around 150 a month (or maybe less.)

And if she doesn't teach her kids the importance of dental care, they won't grow up taking good care of their teeth. Dh is that way, but growing up his parents didn't take him to the dentist regularly.

Dukos · January 2010

I do think the not taking her kids to the dentist is boarderline neglect. And if she doesn't take her kids to the doctor I would call that neglect.

I have to say the first thing I was concerned about was that she has a child sleeping under the crib. That can't be safe. Who knows how old that crib is or what kind of shape it's in, plus it can't be good for the child's back to sleep on the floor like that night after night.

sweetfrogy · January 2010

I don't necessarily think the kids are abused, but I DO think that she's exploiting them for financial gain and notarity, and that disgusts me. I understand wanting to live "simply" and put an emphasis on people rather, than things, but I think she contradicts herself far too much to even have this be true. I think the entire premise of the 1k/month itself is deceiving, because their monthly income is much higher than that if you add up what she's saying they make with everything (including the blog). AND, ok, you live in a small house, don't keep having child after child. Be responsible. Even if you are as uber religious as she claims, you can still practice NFP to ensure the best possible life for your children with what you DO have. And the things she chooses to spend $$ on and not spend $$ just seems like it's for show. She can't go to the $1 store and buy shampoo, but she can pay for internet and hundreds of cd's and movies (you can see them on the bookshelves). To me, that's showing that even though you are living "cheaply", the priorities for what you DO spend $$ on are WAY OFF.

mrs.maybride · January 2010

sweetfrogy:
I don't necessarily think the kids are abused, but I DO think that she's exploiting them for financial gain and notarity, and that disgusts me. I understand wanting to live "simply" and put an emphasis on people rather, than things, but I think she contradicts herself far too much to even have this be true. I think the entire premise of the 1k/month itself is deceiving, because their monthly income is much higher than that if you add up what she's saying they make with everything (including the blog). AND, ok, you live in a small house, don't keep having child after child. Be responsible. Even if you are as uber religious as she claims, you can still practice NFP to ensure the best possible life for your children with what you DO have. And the things she chooses to spend $$ on and not spend $$ just seems like it's for show. She can't go to the $1 store and buy shampoo, but she can pay for internet and hundreds of cd's and movies (you can see them on the bookshelves). To me, that's showing that even though you are living "cheaply", the priorities for what you DO spend $$ on are WAY OFF.

A. Men.

Want a personalized experience?

:steps onto soapbox: (re: BSC $1000/mo Lady)

Re: :steps onto soapbox: (re: BSC $1000/mo Lady)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards