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Stay at Home Moms
First child-does it get easier or harder?
I had my first child 3.5 weeks ago, and I feel like I've done a pretty good job "keeping it together" thus far, especially with recovering from a c-section. I've been able to keep my house fairly clean, cook dinner most nights, and my LO is doing quite well. He sleeps in 1-2 hour stretches a few times a day, so I have some time to get chores done and relax.
In your experience, in terms of being a SAHM and a housewife, does it get easier or harder as you child gets older?
DS 12/09, Twins EDD 11/11
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Re: First child-does it get easier or harder?
Both - lol
Some things get easier, but new challenges arise when LO gets more mobile and naps less. You just have to be flexible and don't try be supermom at the expense of your sanity.
I've been incredibly lucky with my recovery, I know. My c-section wasn't planned, but my experience was great.
I was lucky too - was up and walking faster than any other patient, etc. but we had ALOT of stairs in our old place - so I am sorry to say that meals fell to DH (although I guess I did a decent job at picking up). However, DS needed to be fed every 2 hours and ate for up to 45 minutes a meal. And he didnt sleep much. at all, until recently. lol. Anyhow, it seems you are off to a great start and recovering well! Here its cold now so its harder - but when the weather was nice for walks and stuff it was great.
I was lucky too - was up and walking faster than any other patient, etc. but we had ALOT of stairs in our old place - so I am sorry to say that meals fell to DH (although I guess I did a decent job at picking up). However, DS needed to be fed every 2 hours and ate for up to 45 minutes a meal. And he didnt sleep much. at all, until recently. lol. Anyhow, it seems you are off to a great start and recovering well! Here its cold now so its harder - but when the weather was nice for walks and stuff it was great.
This exactly!
We've had our challenges for sure too. DS didn't latch well (still doesn't), and my milk took almost 10 days to come in. So, I'm pumping. At first it was every 2 hours...yikes. Now, I pump every 3 hours during the day and when DS gets up at night. He is sleeping 3-4.5 hr stretches so I've been getting decent sleep I guess.
I hate winter. Although I'm in Texas, the last few days have been cold and haven't gotten above freezing. Being shut up in a house with a screaming newborn isn't the funnest thing in the world.
Hi there!
With a 3 1/2 year old, looking back, I can honestly say; "YES!!!", it does get easier; however, there are lots of new challenges with every age.
Things that I consider to be "easier":
*she is on a solid schedule of getting up, eating, napping and going to bed and I love being able to count on that consistency and plan our activities accordingly. She's been that way for a few years now.
*she can communicate, this one is HUGE for me! No more guessing what could be wrong with her and running through that list to try and figure it out.
*she can entertain herself, alone, in her room for up to an hour or more, throughout the day so, on the days we are at home, I can get things done!
*she can be trusted not to hurt herself when at home so I no longer have to keep an eye directly on her 24/7, which also enables me to get things done
*she can feed herself, clean up her toys, get dressed & undressed, throw trash away, put her plate in the dishwasher. we can get out of the house in a very short amount of time.
*she LOOOOOOOOOOVES to help me so cleaning, baking and shopping is so much more fun! I no longer have to keep her happy, entertained or worry about when she's going to melt down and I have to leave the store.
*she listens to directions!
Discipline, potty training, and the sassy behavior that comes with a 3-year old push me to my limit nearly every day. So, while the basic things each day are easier, I find this age to be extremely challenging for ME as I am starting to see how everything I say and everything I do is shaping her into the person she is going to become and that's a lot of pressure to ensure I do my best every day. Does this make sense?!? Looking back, I sometimes think; "wow, things were so easy when she was an infant and stayed where I put her, didn't talk back to me and just needed to be fed and changed a few times a day". Funny how things appear to be easier in retrospect, I certainly never thought having a newborn was easy when I had one!
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
Wow! Some days I STILL can't seem to get all of that done.
But, overall I think it gets easier. Of course just when I have things pretty well figured out some new stage will start or something will inevitably change. I think it's important to be flexible.
both-
one thing gets easier and two things get harder.
constantly changes. every week. so don't EVER get 'comfortable' lol
Both. It'll be an up and down roller coaster for the rest of your life. You'll have easy times and hard times. One thing might start to get easier as something else gets harder. For me, once I got super comfortable with everything, we had another baby...and we're back to figuring out how to juggle again. I think it is a continuous balancing act between things becoming easier and new things becoming harder.
Once the baby starts to sleep less, you may find it getting harder, but at the same time he may start doing things like sitting up which will make things easier. Back and forth, back and forth. Old struggles will pass and new ones arise. I think that's part of the fun of being a SAHM, being able to be there for all the ups and downs - the easy parts and the challenges and getting to figure them all out.
For me, easier across the board. That doesn't mean that there aren't now, sometimes extremely difficult phases and days (I am having one now, in fact - I am not enjoying DS's current phase of insantity AT ALL).
The reason that on a whole it was easier for me as he got older is due to several things...
1) I did not enjoy the newborn stage.. I had PPD and I NEED sleep. Like, I am a horrible person without it. I am mean to everyone, feel awful...just no fun at all. I would have 5 kids if they came out as 1 year olds, but since they don't, we are having 2. Tops.
2) I got more confident in my abilities as he got older. Yes, I still question almost everything I do, but I am not flailing as I was at first, if that makes sense. I am not fully confident by any stretch, but more confident. I am a veteran at this point, if you will
3) Having his personality come out made everything a million times easier for me. Just like that first smile makes it all so much better, when they start to communicate, show strong likes and dislikes, etc., it just changes the game.
I agree. And just keep remembering that you're doing your best, even when things aren't going so well.
Harder as they get more mobile, and they nap/sleep less during the day. Also, if you're planning on doing activities or getting out of the house, it's not so easy to have everything done when you get home.
I think it'll get easier for me as DS gets older. I tend to forget that I have 3 kids (all 1.5 years apart), and answer questions based on someone else having this many kids! LOL!
It just changes a lot...and gets different.
It seemed to get really hard for me as each motor milestone was getting met. When she first starting crawling, she would topple over on her head so I felt I was always squat-walking behind her (or crawling along side) to ensure her safety. Pulling up was a beating until she became good at it. Same deal, she would hit her head on the edge of the table on the way up then fall sideways with no warning! Walking was horrible!! LOL
I literally spent a few weeks every few months doing damage control. But once these skills were mastered, she became easy again. Now she is climbing, but has little awareness of the edge of the couch, etc. So we are back to a stage that requires a lot of close proximity.
It also waxes and wanes (sp?) based on her separation anxiety, teething, etc.
So, my final answer is that it just changes. I will say though, that I look back on the first 4 months as the most peaceful and enjoyable time of my life. We spend hours and hours and hours cuddled up in our big bed sleeping, resting, cuddling, and cooing and gooing over each other. She won't do that anymore at 16 months
She'd rather be climbing and running down the hall!