Money vs. Fullfillment: LONG!

Osco13 · January 2010

This is not a SAHM vs. WM post.

I work in a field where the $$ is great, but I hate the job. It's all about schmoozing rich people for a cause I marginally care about. I loathe spending time away from my son doing something that I hate. It doesn't seem right or fair to him or myself.

I found an entryish level job working with children who have been traumatized ( sexual, verbal, physical abuse). It pays HALF but has full benefits. It is still full time.

My husband is medical student and we basically live on loans already..but my salary really does matter to our level of "comfort".

This is the job I was meant to do. And I would feel fulfilled in the "career" part of my life...while feeling good that the time away from my son is important and well spent.

But then i think...maybe this is just hte time in my life where I have to suck it up for my family and bring home the bacon. it won't last forever and some day soon it will be my turn to be fulfilled.

ugh. sorry so long..just needed to type it all out to understand it.

JL2003 · January 2010

I would say if you could make the entry level job work money wise then you should take it. It is always nice to have more money but not worth being miserable. It is not good for you or for your LO. Good luck

BostonGayGal · January 2010

Are you sure you know you would like the other job? I would hate for you to make such a switch and then find out you didn't like the job you thought you would.

Jobs are funny like that. I HATED being a teacher, but being an attorney for children I LOVE. I could never have expected that.

Jaylea · January 2010

If I am going to be away from my child FT, then I had better be doing something I enjoy, which I feel good about.

We're fortunate to be able to have some choices in what we do. I would be miserable stuck in a job I hated and the difference in income wouldn't make up for that.

I say go for it.

Osco13 · January 2010

BostonGayGal:
Are you sure you know you would like the other job? I would hate for you to make such a switch and then find out you didn't like the job you thought you would.
Jobs are funny like that. I HATED being a teacher, but being an attorney for children I LOVE. I could never have expected that.

That's a really good point...and no i don't' know for sure! I FEEL like it would...but who knows!

That's why i'm not sure it's the right time in our lives for me to be "selfish". When my husband starts earning some money...ANY money (lol) we would have more leeway for me to take that gamble.

I just sometimes need to say it out loud...or i feel like I lose myself a little.

BoxTer · January 2010

Is this a job that you would be guaranteed to get, or just something you saw that sounded interesting to you? Do you have the skill set for this type of work? As tempting as it might be to make a leap into something new, I might use the time until your DH is out of school and earning money to do some volunteer work at a shelter or any place that might give you a better idea of what the work will be like. I know that when you're working at something you don't enjoy that the grass always seems greener, but there is no such thing as a perfect job and there will always be something that's less than ideal. GL! I hope you can make it work.

momofolivia · January 2010

Osco13:

I just sometimes need to say it out loud...or i feel like I lose myself a little.

sounds like you and I are soul sisters. LOL I've been going through the same thought process for the past 3 years. 3 years. That's a long time to waste on a job I hate.

So my resolution for 2010 was to sh!t or get off the pot. I'm tired of complaining. Tired of my job affecting my marriage and my child and my happiness. Yes, I make a nice salary, but I dread coming to work daily.

So with the support of an amzing DH, I am starting classes to become a teacher. Yes, it will take a few months. No, I am not sure *this is it*. I have no idea. I may hate it. I may regret taking a 40% paycut in my salary.

But I have to do something more than scanning the (lack of) want ads for a job that sounds just like what I have now. I have to try. Because just sitting here, day after day, year after year is chipping away at me. I am honestly less of myself than I was 3 years ago.

I can live without cable TV and dinner trips to Carrabas.

There will always be a reason not to take that job. There will always be a good excuse to stay comfortable.

You said it yourself - this job was MADE for you. What will you do if you don't take it? Always wonder what if? If you haven't applied yet - go for it.

Mel&Jason · January 2010

Im in a similar situation right now too. I actually put in for the entry level job that is half my salary ... but would make me and my family so much happier. It's def worth it for me ... lets just hope I get it!

shouldbworkin · January 2010

I think it's all about balance. Having a job you love (or at least can tolerate) really does help. With that being said, we all have responsibilities to our families and I'm not sure if I could cause my family to go into more debt to make my dreams come true, any more than I would want my DH to do the same thing. If I did, the benefits would have to outweigh the cost (e.g. one of us going for an advanced degree that would require a loan for school, but increased pay once the degree was acheived). In your case, I might muddle through where you are until your DH was done with med school/residency and then I'd go after my dream job. That being said, I just turned down an opportunity to make $10-$20k more b/c more money would have been the only way my life improved. So, in that case, fulfillment was more important than $$.

Osco13 · January 2010

I really really value all of your opinions. It's never easy being a workin' momma but it helps to hash out the challenges with intelligent women like all of you.

TY

gniddew · January 2010

Jaylea:

If I am going to be away from my child FT, then I had better be doing something I enjoy, which I feel good about.

We're fortunate to be able to have some choices in what we do. I would be miserable stuck in a job I hated and the difference in income wouldn't make up for that.

I say go for it.

This and one thing to add. Apply. See if you get an interview and, if you do, go wtih your gut and follow your heart - those two organs won't steer you wrong! Good luck with your decision.

peanutrocks · January 2010

You didn't say what exactly you would be doing, so this advice might not apply to the specific job you are thinking about. I'm going to put this out there anyway...

Have you done work like this before? Working with abused children is extremely hard, and would be especially hard for you having a little one at home. There can be a lot of secondary trauma for the people who are working with the children, and it's most difficult right at first when you're hearing all the terrible things that go on for the first time. I would definitely recommend volunteering in this field before quitting your job and doing this full time.

Also something to think about-where does the organization get it's funding from, and is that funding secure? A lot of non-profits are having to lay off staff because grant money is not coming in because of the economy.

mysticporter · January 2010

I think being part of a family means that sometimes you have to make sacrifices. I fully agree that it is important for decisions to be made for everyone to be as happy as possible in the long run, but sometimes in the short term tough choices have to be made.

At the moment, if you need your present income for your family to have the life that you want for them, then stay put and take pride knowing you are doing what's best for them. Not that your desires will always take a back seat, not that your happiness isn't important, just that you've got to choose the best path for all of you. If the other position is entry level, chances are, you will be able to find something similar down the road, whereas if you bail for that job and hate it, or the change in income level/change in lifestyle puts stress on you and your family, going back may be impossible.

alwaysduke00 · January 2010

I think things depend on DH a little bit too and exactly how far he is in med school and what he is planning. Let's say he's a first year med student and wants to be a pediatric surgeon. That's 4 years of med school, 6 years of residency and 2 years of fellowship...oh yeah, and if he really loves research, maybe he do an extra couple low paid years of research. Sure he'll make $ as a pediatric surgeon (less than any other type of surgeon, peds always pays the least) but we're talking about 12+ years from now.

Also, there are a couple of matches in there. So, he'll need to match for residency and also possibly for fellowship. How committed are you both to the area or will he be looking all over the country or choose a super competitive specialty where there may not be opportunities locally?

So I guess this would depend on how it fits into the 5 year plan (or lack thereof) for your family? That being said, I love what I do and genuinely enjoy going to work every day and would hate to have to choose anything else. And right now, I earn about half as much as I would for a job I would like alright and could get right now and about a fifth to a tenth(!) as much as I would have if I enjoyed a lucrative specialty.

Good luck! (Would this job pay for you to get a Master's in Social Work or other degree? Then you could continue doing the type of work you enjoy while eventually earning a bit more...)

chrisandchris2008 · January 2010

I hear you on this! Who knows how I will feel after spending time with the little one. I work full-time in the corporate world, but I decided to also become a rep for a candle company in my spare time. That way, I can still make some fun money while home and have fun doing it and not feel like I have to do something. I also love having the product displayed in my home and that always makes me feel like I'm doing something for myself.

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Money vs. Fullfillment: LONG!

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