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Getting LO to sleep without being held

kklickkakklickka member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

We still have to hold DS for naps (if we don't hold him he sleeps for about 15 minutes at a time and then he's overtired and cranky, if we hold him he'll sleep for an hour or more) and we rock him to sleep at night, which I don't mind at all except that if he wakes up in the middle of the night he has an issue going back to sleep unless I rock him again - which leads to crappy sleep for both of us.

For those of you who have conquered this issue, how did you do it?  We tried Ferber, but he has his daddy's temper and his mama's stubbornness, which just meant that he got more and more p!ssed every time we went in to "comfort" him, which led to him screaming for hours.

Do we just have to cut him off cold turkey and he'll get used to sleeping without me or DH holding him?

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Re: Getting LO to sleep without being held

  • pkate98pkate98
    can you put him down and rub his back and head?  That's what I do.  But I also CIO most of the time and it works fine for us.
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  • adncarrieadncarrie
    It took us quite a few nights... and hours.... of crying/checking before Ferber worked.  (Took a week before we saw significant improvement in night wakings)  It was really tough :(  I don't have any other recommendations, but I feel your pain!
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  • kayte710kayte710 member
    Try the Sleep Easy Solution.  I ordered the book online.  It's similiar to ferber, but you dont touch them.  When you go in for your checks, you just comfort them by talking.  The book says if you touch them, it tricks them into thinking you are going to pick them up and that by patting them, you are actually stimulating them.  It worked for us for night time. I'm going to start using it for naps tomorrow.
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  • Delight781Delight781

    With my DD, I transitioned her during naps first. This was the hardest week ever. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I would do the pick up comfort and put back down and it seem to only piss her off more and cry longer and louder. I called my SIL freaking out because I had not slept in days but she just encouraged me to continue the process. After that week of HELL my DD finally accepted the new method during the day time and would not fuss as much then go to sleep. After I was able to get her to do it during the days it was easy for her to except the new method at night. Now, I can hold her and talk to her before I put her down. I let her know that everything is going to be okay and I will be there when she wakes up. I lay her on her stomach and leave. Sometimes she may fuss but most of the time she goes straight to sleep and; will sleep for an hour to two hours. I think it is very important for you and your husband to be on the same page and continue the process. Once you two start it do not given in. It will be the HARDEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thing but continue to encourage each other. Also, I think my DD having her pacifier to calm her down when I leave helped tremendously.

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  • peachypearpeachypear
    We broke DD of the habit slowly. Much less painful than CIO! We put her down more and more awake, until finally we could put her down awake and have her fall asleep on her own. The No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book to read for a longer description. Good Night Sleep Tight also describes it. GL!
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  • mynaturalbabymynaturalbaby

    I didn't follow any book advice per se, but would put him down and check on him at regular intervals to make sure he was OK.  I didn't touch him but did speak to him in a soothing voice to reassure him that I was still there.

    I found that playing his mobile was a great way to distract him as well.  Have you tried that? 

    Photobucket Follow my journey into raising two babies using all natural products on my blog and on Twitter - mynaturalbaby.
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  • JENNIGERJENNIGER
    ***YOU ARE NOT ALONE*** This is US!!  We just started the no-cry sleep solution 3 days ago...we have seen slight improvement during naps, night time is conquered.  Best advice...pick a method, stick to it, and be on the same page with anyone else that puts your child to sleep.  Good luck!
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