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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Miss.Modular
member
from FB: what do you think of this tactic to make a child eat?
Miss.Modular
member
mommie dearest anyone?
"If my kids don't eat what we make for dinner, they get nothing. If they
refuse to eat it or claim not to like it, the plate gets covered and
put in the fridge. That is what they will eat for their next meal and
so on until the plate of food is gone. It usually doesn't take long for
them to eat."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: from FB: what do you think of this tactic to make a child eat?
Sounds like my FILs methodology. He is a true peach. He tried to tell DH that is the best way to raise your child. First time DH tried it, He got smacked upside the head and I threatened to not serve him dinner for the night. He wised up quickly.
ETA: I forgot to add, to this day DH and his brother do not like food. They eat only to sustaine. It is sad. Neither of them have been able to weigh higher than 168 because of their dislike of food. Close to a eating disorder.
I like it, honestly. For older children who can communicate. Also, I would have some stipulations to begin with, like I would not try to make them eat something they already do not like, nor something really spicy, etc.
Now if I make a perfectly good meal, and then kid just doesn't feel like eating that, I may give them one no-cook option, like cereal, and that's it.
This exactly. Every word.
Hmm, I don't think it's THAT terrible. My mom used to do this with us! I'm of the camp that my kid will eat (or choose not to eat) what I make for dinner, I'm not going to make individual dinners for everyone in the family.
However, I would make sure there would be at least one thing on the table I know my kid will eat, and wouldn't save the plate for them to eat later!
OK, yes, I also refuse to make more than one meal, but I make sure that it's at least somewhat toddler-friendly and accompanied by bread and butter and a side of cottage cheese, two things I know my kids will eat no matter what. If they don't want to eat that, there are no other options and they are free to be excused from the table, but to cover it, put it in the fridge, and then insist they eat it for breakfast???? OMG.
yup.
mod.. how old are her kids?
I agree, that is ridiculous.
And I would never try this with a toddler. That's equally ridiculous. But an 8yo who just doesn't want what I cooked? Um, yeah.
I agree...I think it's important for kids to learn to try different things. If they didn't eat lunch though, I'd still give them a seperate meal for dinner...not try to reserve lunch. However if they requested a snack in-between, I'd get the plate out. Obvioulsy, not really age appropriate at this stage of the game...
ITA. My 6 year old niece is a picky eater and her parents bend over backwards accommodating it--to the point where she has Rice Krispies for dinner night after night, or they will end up going to McDonald's at 9 pm to get her food because she wouldn't eat her dinner. I think at some point, you have to draw the line. Kids need to learn good eating habits, just like they learn everything else. I think some parents can take it too far, but I also think some parents don't push their kids enough either.
I think the forcing of the same food over and over again is crazy but I am a big believer in putting a meal in front of kids and that's what they get....if they don't eat it, there's no alternate meal being prepared. That's the way it was in my house (with the exception of specific things my mom knew we didn't like. I hate hot dogs - she always made me something else if she made hot dogs for dinner) and well, we just learned to not be picky eaters. Once we were old enough, we always had the option of making ourselves a sandwich but we were usually too lazy to do that and just ate what my mom made.
Um, no. Parenting as a power trip just doesn't work for me.
Kinda reminds me of my FB friend who told me (publicly) that I was ridiculous for not sleep training my 4 month old, because "as her mother, you need to show her who's in control".
This is how my mother did it. I hated it and won't ever do it that way. She didn't care if it was something we already hated, loaded with onions, spicy, etc. We were expected to eat it and if we didn't then it was straight to bed with no supper. We would for sure be eating it for breakfast and then lunch and then supper again until it was gone.
ETA: My mother and I no longer have a relationship. She is seriously messed up and I don't want to be involved.
Joseph eats what we eat. There are plenty of options provided, but we don't make separate food for him.
However, I'm not about to keep meatloaf until it turns into a science project just to prove a point. If he doesn't eat what I make for dinner, he doesn't eat dinner. At breakfast, however, he will get what I'm making for breakfast.
Aww that's sad
My dad made us sit at the table until we finished our dinner, even if it was something we hated. Example: He made my sister sit for hours at the dinner table until she ate venison and drank her green Kool-aid (don't even ask, there isn't time to explain this). She choked it down, gagged, and threw up right at the table.
I learned very quickly that if I didn't eat something, I'd be sitting at the table until I did. So if I didn't like it, I choked it down. When I turned eleven, I started throwing it up. Hello, bulimia that I still struggle with today.
So no, I will not be wrapping up dinner to serve to my child later on until she eats it. I think that is weird. I will not be subjecting her to that.
DH and I like to eat certain foods that DD does not. I let her try a little bit every time just to see if she ends up liking it, and she doesn't. So, because she tried, I give her other foods.
We all don't like certain foods. We all have preferences. I will always make sure that there is a side dish that my kiddo can eat, and I will supplement if I need to.
My kid isn't picky at all. In fact, she loves a huge variety of foods.
Exact same thing we do with our Joseph. If he let him, he would say no to everything in front of him until we gave him fig newtons or nilla wafers. I will not force him to eat stuff I just know he doesn't like, but he always has an option he eats on a regular basis at every meal. Sometimes he just wants to be fussy and eat snacks for a meal. Not happening, buddy.
Frankly, if it's something they usually liked and didn't want for some reason, that would be all the more reason I wouldn't force it on them. Obviously, they didn't want it for a reason, like they didn't feel good, were too tired to eat, or just flat out weren't that hungry. If Joseph doesn't eat a green bean, I know he's not hungry.
I'm ok with the first part, if they don't like what's for dinner too bad that's all they get. But I think it's kind of extreme to keep offering the same plate of food meal and meal until it's gone.
?ETA: This isn't something I would do with a toddler obviously, but when Gwen gets older, yes.
Which is why it would probably make a good lunch the next day. If they normally like it, they'll usually want it again by the next afternoon. If not, they can have a sandwich or whatever else I'm making. There is no "force" involved. It's not punishment, just trying not waste perfectly good food that they usually like and will probably want to eat later when they're in a different mood.
Yes, I agree totally. I make one dinner, if DS doesn't eat it, fine, but I'm not making him something seperate. If there are leftovers I may try again for lunch but I would never keep forcing until he eats it. That's insane.
If my neice doesn't eat a meal (which is most meals) my brother and SIL will make her PB&J, a granola bar, or go get her fast food. It's ridiculous and makes me want to scream at all of them!
yes. If it's a brand new food, and they don't like it, that's fine as long as they at least try it. I would then give her something I know she likes so she'll eat something. BUT i refuse to make her or any of my future kids separate meals. They will eat with us. Also, if they don't eat it, that's fine. they don't get a new meal..but at the next meal, I will then offer them what I make for that meal.
There's a difference between showing your kid that they eat what you eat, and going on some power trip and making eating stressful. I am not a picky eater, but there are a few things I won't eat to this day. Give me a plate of sauerkraut every meal, and I would rather starve to death.
Well, my 11 year old dss either eats what is for dinner or he must not be hungry. Usually when I remind him that there won't be a snack later, he musters up enough to eat most of his dinner.
Now, if he came home not hungry, that's another story. We only use that when he whines that what's for dinner isn't his favorite.
For a toddler/preschooler, I don't see anything wrong with taking the meal and offering it to them later. My family did that with their kids and no one was harmed. The idea of the meal being their meals until it's gone is weird and controlling though.
My mom hated her mother's policy of "you eat what's being served and you sit at the table until you eat your entire meal" and remembers her older sister sitting at the table in the dark at 10pm one night because she refused to eat her green beans. She swore she would never do that to us. I think my grandmother's rule stemmed from being a child of the Depression when you didn't waste anything.
My mom's dinnertime rules were pretty simple. You had to try everything- at least one bite. If you didn't finish- no dessert. I do remember one night I went to bed with no dinner because I mouthed off to her about how I hated quiche, but I was old enough to know better. If I had just tried one bite, she would have let me have cereal.
This is how we do it, too. There is a grey area between shoving liver and onions down a 3 year old's throat and making them 17 different dinners to see which one they'll nibble at.
I just have to comment once more on this. I think the first part is healthy and encourages good eating habits. I'm not a short-order cook, I don't prepare "special" meals for my children, I expect them to eat what we eat and I make sure that what I prepare is not going to be difficult or offensive to them. I also always have bread and butter and a side I know they'll like, in case the main dish falls flat. If they don't eat, I tell them they may be excused from the table and I don't give them anything else until the next meal/snack.
But this thing about re-serving a meal until they eat it, to prove a point, is positively redolent of control issues. Who does that? Seriously? If your kid isn't hungry and doesn't want to eat, who cares? It's not like we as adults always feel like eating a meal.
Agreed. I'm not a short order chef. But I think age is important to keep in mind here.
eta: also i don't agree at all with the "you have to eat everything on your plate" idea - i think eating past the point of being full is why there are so many fat kids running around. that and the lack of movement, but that's a whole other story.
Okay, I'll buy that.
This is exactly what I do. I'm not about to throw away perfectly untouched food just because. Now if DD refuses for some reason to eat it the next day then it's trash. But I always try twice if it's something she usually eats. Hell if it's something she never had before I'm still going to try twice. I don't understand what is so crazy about that.
Wow, when I was a kid, me and my siblings never whined about what my mom made. We ate what we were given, that's it.
If I know DS doesn't like something specific, then yeah, I won't make him eat it. You can't force kids to eat. I will just offer it... put it on his plate.... I don't see the big deal here. Meals are a usually a protein, vegetable and starch. Surely he'll eat at least two of those things.