Is it typical to bring toddlers to baby showers? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Is it typical to bring toddlers to baby showers?

My SIL is upset that my baby shower is at 1pm (which is during my 18 mo niece's nap time) because she wants to bring her to my baby shower.  Is this typical?  The two friends that are throwing the shower are both moms, but are not bringing their babies.  I can't recall being to many baby showers were kids were present (except for some very tiny infants that can't really be away from mom too long).  Isn't the shower supposed to be a relaxing thing for the adults to celebrate the new baby and not be distracted with the other babies?  Or am I just being selfish?

 

Re: Is it typical to bring toddlers to baby showers?

  • It's not typical to bring children at all. Usually it is for adults only. And just to throw this out there because I am still bitter. My sister threw a baby shower for me and invited my in-laws. My SIL decided to bring her boyfriends 2 kids (5 and 6 years old) with her. I was LIVID! Not only did she not RSVP to let my sister know that she would be in attendance but she didn't bother to ask if it were ok for her to bring along two children. My sister rented out an old garden home for the shower and the kids were running around like it was a playhouse. So rude and inappropriate.
  • It is extremely rude to bring children to baby showers.  I've seen it happen and it's annoying.  It definitely takes the attention away from the mom-to-be...it's a party for her, not for other babies.
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  • This topic amazes me sometimes.  A baby shower, despite it's title, is an ADULT event.  Baby shower doesn't[ mean "babies/kids welcome".  The fact that people assume this really does amaze me sometimes. 

    So, no, you're not selfish.  I would just gently tell SIL "Well, actually, I dont think the hostesses were expecting kids to come.  They are including adults only.". 

    If she doesn't like it and throws a fit and says "Then I'm not coming", then you say "I'm so sorry to hear that.  I'll miss you.".

    Plus, heck, having a 1 year old, there are certain events I don't WANT to take him to!  My focus is more on him than on what's going on!!

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • This topic amazes me sometimes.  A baby shower, despite it's title, is an ADULT event.  Baby shower doesn't[ mean "babies/kids welcome".  The fact that people assume this really does amaze me sometimes. 

    So, no, you're not selfish.  I would just gently tell SIL "Well, actually, I dont think the hostesses were expecting kids to come.  They are including adults only.". 

    If she doesn't like it and throws a fit and says "Then I'm not coming", then you say "I'm so sorry to hear that.  I'll miss you.".

    Plus, heck, having a 1 year old, there are certain events I don't WANT to take him to!  My focus is more on him than on what's going on!!

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I would actually be hurt if my sister didn't bring my nieces to my shower.  In my opinion they are an important part of my life, they know me, and they are excited for me to have this baby too, so why shouldn't they be there????

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  • I think it varies.  In my family, yes, kids are there.  I am pretty sure none of my family members go anywhere without their kids (I will not be like that, but they just are).  Basically the guest of honor gets very little attention cause everyone is showing off their kid and talking about how great their kids are.  They kind of act like it is a family reunion.  I have accepted this and it will be what my family shower will be like.  This is why I am having a family shower and a friend shower.  My sister offered to throw a friend shower and mom is throwing me a family one (I have a huuuge family).  We told my friends it was adults only though I think they would have brought their kids otherwise since they have young ones and like to show them off.  Yeah they are cute and all but could we have an adult get together for once??


    Anyhow, that was me babbling cause I just got an email from a friend who said she had not yet rsvped to my shower because she was caught off guard when it said adults only.  Nevermind that I told her it would be adults only over a month ago!!

    I know I will love my baby and want to take her places and let her get to know people and experience things, but I plan to respect (and enjoy) events where adults only are requested (and even some where kids are welcome but I want to attend without her!).

    If you are still reading, NO you are not being selfish!!

  • Hubby and I just had this same conversation. Unfortunately it was dealing with a 15, 13 and 10 year old. Which in my opinion is just unnecessary. So I told him it was an adult thing, and they all have an 18 year old sibling that can watch the kids for an afternoon. I just don't feel like having children at a baby shower is appropriate. Just my thoughts.
  • It is not appropriate to have children at a baby shower.  Your guests will thank you for it (if you don't have kids).  I have kids and I leave them home for a reason.  I certainly would not hesitate to leave early a shower that I attended where kids were running around.  I agree with the others...it definitely takes the spotlight off the guest of honor.  I guess if the mom-to-be is very shy and doesn't want any attention and wants "help" opening the gifts then she should encourage people to bring their kids.  A shower is NOT a family reunion if there are people there who are not family.
  • A shower is about celebrating a Mom-to-be, not giving her the attention left over after making sure the little ones are fed and aren't tearing up the presents. Ugh, I really can't imagine why anyone would do such a thing!
  • Ughhh, I'm having 2 showers, and I know that there will be 2 or 3 moms at each shower who will most likely bring their kids. I really don't like it, but I feel like an a-hole saying no, and that they would get mad at me. Seriously.

    Oh, and one of the showers is at my house; which is not yet child friendly. The oldest will be just over 2 years old. Arghhh... 

    Blah... 

  • My nieces(ages 7 & 9) are "co-hosting" with my SIL so children will definitely be there...DH also has 4 nieces and I'm sure that if their mother and my BIL(it's co-ed) come then then girls will be in attendance also...I would consider having coloring books or some type of craft project for kids if you know that they're gonna be in attendance. I would also give them a special table so that the adults can enjoy the shower.
  • Thanks for all the replies.  Definitely some food for thought.  I'd prefer not to have my niece (or other kids) there, but I don't want to be an a-hole and say that to the moms that want to bring their kids.  Plus, if anyone CAN'T find someone else to watch their kid, I would rather have them there with their kid than not be able to attend.  That being said, I KNOW my BIL can watch my neice that day, so my SIL could come by herself if she wanted to, but says that she likes bringing her daughter to baby showers.  My main concern (admittedly selfish) is that my MIL will be paying attention to her existing, 18 mo old grandaughter instead of paying attention and discussing the grandchild that is on the way.

     I think I'm going to just let my SIL do whatever she wants to avoid a fight over it, but I'll try to talk to my MIL ahead of time to see if she can help in case SIL starts trying to steal the spotlight, as often happens when she's around.  Thanks for all the advice!

  • I think it all depends on the atmosphere...I'm throwing a shower for my friend this month & she put the kids names on her guest list (w/ the moms), so she is obviously open to having children there....I have 3 small children under the age of 4 & since it's being held at my house, my 2 girls will definitely be there.....I'll probably have my husband go out for the afternoon w/ my son....I've brought my kids to showers before.  I think it just depends.
    ~Jen
    Married since 8.17.03
    Mom to Richard 7.24.05, Ava 3.27.08, Isabella 5.19.09 & Timothy 10.22.14




  • Wow, this thread made me feel so much better!

    DH's SIL seems offended by the fact that her DD (9 yrs old) wasn't invited to my shower.  I love my niece, but it just seems like an adult event to me.  I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one!

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