My SIL is upset that my baby shower is at 1pm (which is during my 18 mo niece's nap time) because she wants to bring her to my baby shower. Is this typical? The two friends that are throwing the shower are both moms, but are not bringing their babies. I can't recall being to many baby showers were kids were present (except for some very tiny infants that can't really be away from mom too long). Isn't the shower supposed to be a relaxing thing for the adults to celebrate the new baby and not be distracted with the other babies? Or am I just being selfish?
Re: Is it typical to bring toddlers to baby showers?
This topic amazes me sometimes. A baby shower, despite it's title, is an ADULT event. Baby shower doesn't[ mean "babies/kids welcome". The fact that people assume this really does amaze me sometimes.
So, no, you're not selfish. I would just gently tell SIL "Well, actually, I dont think the hostesses were expecting kids to come. They are including adults only.".
If she doesn't like it and throws a fit and says "Then I'm not coming", then you say "I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll miss you.".
Plus, heck, having a 1 year old, there are certain events I don't WANT to take him to! My focus is more on him than on what's going on!!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This topic amazes me sometimes. A baby shower, despite it's title, is an ADULT event. Baby shower doesn't[ mean "babies/kids welcome". The fact that people assume this really does amaze me sometimes.
So, no, you're not selfish. I would just gently tell SIL "Well, actually, I dont think the hostesses were expecting kids to come. They are including adults only.".
If she doesn't like it and throws a fit and says "Then I'm not coming", then you say "I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll miss you.".
Plus, heck, having a 1 year old, there are certain events I don't WANT to take him to! My focus is more on him than on what's going on!!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I think it varies. In my family, yes, kids are there. I am pretty sure none of my family members go anywhere without their kids (I will not be like that, but they just are). Basically the guest of honor gets very little attention cause everyone is showing off their kid and talking about how great their kids are. They kind of act like it is a family reunion. I have accepted this and it will be what my family shower will be like. This is why I am having a family shower and a friend shower. My sister offered to throw a friend shower and mom is throwing me a family one (I have a huuuge family). We told my friends it was adults only though I think they would have brought their kids otherwise since they have young ones and like to show them off. Yeah they are cute and all but could we have an adult get together for once??
Anyhow, that was me babbling cause I just got an email from a friend who said she had not yet rsvped to my shower because she was caught off guard when it said adults only. Nevermind that I told her it would be adults only over a month ago!!
I know I will love my baby and want to take her places and let her get to know people and experience things, but I plan to respect (and enjoy) events where adults only are requested (and even some where kids are welcome but I want to attend without her!).
If you are still reading, NO you are not being selfish!!
Ughhh, I'm having 2 showers, and I know that there will be 2 or 3 moms at each shower who will most likely bring their kids. I really don't like it, but I feel like an a-hole saying no, and that they would get mad at me. Seriously.
Oh, and one of the showers is at my house; which is not yet child friendly. The oldest will be just over 2 years old. Arghhh...
Blah...
Thanks for all the replies. Definitely some food for thought. I'd prefer not to have my niece (or other kids) there, but I don't want to be an a-hole and say that to the moms that want to bring their kids. Plus, if anyone CAN'T find someone else to watch their kid, I would rather have them there with their kid than not be able to attend. That being said, I KNOW my BIL can watch my neice that day, so my SIL could come by herself if she wanted to, but says that she likes bringing her daughter to baby showers. My main concern (admittedly selfish) is that my MIL will be paying attention to her existing, 18 mo old grandaughter instead of paying attention and discussing the grandchild that is on the way.
I think I'm going to just let my SIL do whatever she wants to avoid a fight over it, but I'll try to talk to my MIL ahead of time to see if she can help in case SIL starts trying to steal the spotlight, as often happens when she's around. Thanks for all the advice!
Married since 8.17.03
Mom to Richard 7.24.05, Ava 3.27.08, Isabella 5.19.09 & Timothy 10.22.14
Wow, this thread made me feel so much better!
DH's SIL seems offended by the fact that her DD (9 yrs old) wasn't invited to my shower. I love my niece, but it just seems like an adult event to me. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one!
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