Just found this board...good timing — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

Just found this board...good timing

So I've just admited to myself and FI that I have PPD.

I feel soooo helpless and I just want to live in a dark hole. Ive been telling myself that its just the baby blues , but its more than that. I just spent the last 2 days solid crying....for so many different reasons.

I feel so overwhelmed with DS, hes such a fussy baby and Im literally afraid to leave the house with him bc he screams so terrible for no reason. Its so embarassing the way people look at us when hes loosing his mind like that. So day after day I sit in the house and try to wish the hours go by faster.

FI works ALOT and long shifts so im home alone most days and nights. I have great friends and family but you can only have them help so much and then they have to live their own lives too. Im already back on my anxiety meds but I just made an apt for Mon with my Dr. to see what his opinion is on this.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

Re: Just found this board...good timing

  • hey, I hear ya ... but I think other mothers understand when they hear a fussy baby, its not the mom's fault, its just the child. But your child may amaze you - sometimes a change in scenery is just what they need?! Vancouver is pretty mild right? You might be more able to take a walk with your baby outside, even for a half hour, to get some fresh air. (here in ontario its a wee bit colder and I wouldn't dare walk with the slushy streets)

    DH works 12 hrs/day, 6 days/wk. I'm right where you are. And when I talked to my dr about my ppd meds I had to wait 2 wks (till jan 8) to get myself checked out with her. waiting sucks and its hard to rely on family and friends for help while we wait. What has helped me tho is talking to a friend/commiserating with someone once a day. Like a check-in system. Talk to someone. Call your mom, call your hubby, call your best friend. Just talking will ease the loneliness and isolation. If you're able to, go to a municipal mom's group... there's bound to be something in a city that big. Even an outing to the library might help.

    ((hugs)) we're here for ya anytime you want to vent.


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  • I'm soooo thankful that when I called my dr. after I realized I had PPD they got me in an hour later.  Now I've been waiting 2 weeks for an appt. with a psychiatrist to dial in the meds. better.  I'm home alone a lot, DH is gone for work about 14 hours a day (but only 5 days a week).  Thankfully I'm ok alone now with DD but the problem is, I'm sooooooo alone. 

    Have you tried finding a PPD support group?  There is one through my hospital and I looooooove it!  The girls in it are great and I look forward to it every week.

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  • I'm so sorry. The first step is admitting it though and talking about it. I'm glad you got an appointment with your doctor and are back on medication.

    I know how hard it is with a fussy/colic-y baby. I was always afraid to leave the house so became a shut in for the first few months. It was so difficult and I felt like a horrible mother when I would be walking through the store with an inconsolable baby. The more you get out with him the better you will get at handling it though. I know I hated hearing this when natalie was at her worst but it DOES get better.

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  • So much of what you are saying sounds like the way I felt at the beginning.  A fussy baby is so tough, especially when you are the only one there most of the time to take care of them.  My DH worked a lot too, and he is also in school.  I was crazy trying to comfort DD and do anything at all for myself.  She would not let me put her down, even to use the bathroom!  I know that played a role in the development of my PPD.  I had a hard time adjusting to my life as a parent because it didn't seem to be an easy transition with my fussy girl. 

    Hopefully you are proud of yourself for realizing you have PPD.  It is wonderful you are getting the treatment you need.  Good luck to you and please keep us updated on how you are doing!

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