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anyone else have little family support?

Rolos_girlRolos_girl
in 2nd Trimester

ugh, we are having our first baby and I am starting to freak out. I do not have much support at all from my family, just in general, and do not expect that to change with the baby coming.....

MIL is about an hour away, and she will babysit whenever, but we are not real close, so I am feeling a bit list and already a bit isolated.....

I plan to start seeing a therapist in the next few weeks to deal with some of these issues, but she will not be able to help me with support and whatnot, in general....

Just curious if anyone else is on my shoes and any plans/thoughts you have?.....

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Re: anyone else have little family support?

  • sweetestlovesweetestlove member
    We are 300 miles away from our family/friends and our "friends" here aren't the kind to rely on for childcare and such. So, yes, we are feeling a bit the same way. Just researching child care options has been daunting...at best.
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  • grace416grace416 member
    My mom lives down in the states, (but she flys here when ever I need her)and my dad lives on Vancouver Island , BC. I just moved to a new city last weekend, for my husbands work. We only know one couple, and I really like them, but I don't know how much I will be hanging out with them once the baby arrives. They constantly swear around there 4 year old and they let him do a lot of things I don't want my LO picking up on. So I feel really secluded and alone.
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  • cearleyjaycearleyjay
    i have no idea. my mom is in IL and my MIL is in AR.  im scared too. i have no idea what im going to do. my ex MIL is here to help with my DD but i have no idea what im going to with the LO.  i just plan on trying to stay positive and see how things go that way.
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  • Megan928Megan928 member
    Funny...I was just in tears over this very issue. My mother couldn't seem to care any less about me or my pregnancy. My father is not around. MIL moved 1500 miles away 6 months ago to be with BIL & SIL and their little one and has no intention of moving back. FIL I wouldn't trust with my dog's life. So, I completely get it. I do have some wonderful friends, but they don't necessarily replace family. I think a therapist will help, but it's a touch pill to swallow when your own family isn't interested in your life. Sorry, I'm in a bit of a mood and this post just really struck home. Good luck to you.
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  • amygauntt@windstream.netamygauntt@windstream.net

    Yep, we're pretty much all on our own. My mom has helped a little with DD, but she's moving 600 miles away in 2 weeks. ALL of my IL's live 1hr45min away, and BARELY see DD, which is really sad. So, we can't count on them for much of anything.

    We've made it through, and we will with this one as well. The biggest issue, is we have no one to stay with DD when I have DS, but, we'll figure it out!

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  • ifoundhim!ifoundhim! member
    We are 450 miles from my family, and DHs parents live across the country. I don't feel isolated though because there are so many other people in my situation. You can join a mother's group, a baby play group, or find a women's gym that has prenatl yoga (for now) and mommy & me classes (for when LO gets here). Also, just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't make new friends now. I know, with how tired you can probably feel at times, reaching out to new people might not be top priority. But it's taking care of YOU, which will help you be a better mom to LO. And I do think talking with a therapist is a great idea.  That's what they are there for.
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  • ifoundhim!ifoundhim! member
    Oh and PS, my mom is "excited in here own way" LOL, just like she was "excited in her own way" for my wedding, and my sisters. I can't take it personal, although it's hard sometimes, especially when I hear what my friends do with their mom's including all the child care, etc.,  But at the end of the day, some parents are really just into their own lives at this point (50s, 60s), so it is something I work on accepting!
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  • wildfloweragainwildfloweragain member
    I will say MIL was super helpful with my first, but no more, my mom was helpful 1-2 nights a week she'd come over in the evening for a few hours and hold the baby while i showered or took a nap and this time I have a good friend (but neither grandma.) So we're not totally alone.  Dh isn't home much at all and might be away for 3 months around when this baby comes.  It gets harder with each kid, too.
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  • katenneykatenney

    Like so many others I'm in a simular situation. My mom and sis are in Michigan and my IL's are in Massachusetts/Connecticut. It's hard knowing that I'm so far away and don't have the support my sister and my SIL had/have. My husband knows how I feel about it, and he tries to reassure me that we will be ok and that we can handle it. It's times like this I do wish I lived closer.

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  • epona3epona3 member

    I totally feel your pain.  Our parents live 3+ hours away, and so do our BFFs.  Here, we have some friends, but I don't consider them super close friends.  Also, both of us work outside the town we live in, so most of our friends here (that we know through work, mostly) live 30+ min. away.  I worry about never being able to find babysitters or go out again.

    I guess I'm still in the "I'll worry about that when it happens" phase...  Not terribly helpful, I know, but you're definitely not alone!

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  • CMSullivan326CMSullivan326 member
    My Family is SUPER excited and very supportive. DH's fam. seems like they could care less.
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  • Kim B.Kim B.

    My father and older sister live about seven hours away. They were planning on coming up to see me once the baby comes, but then my dad slipped on ice on Christmas Eve and broke an arm and a hip. The chances of him being able to travel in less than 10 weeks is slim. And since my sister has to take care of him, the chances of her being able to come aren't looking so great either...Needless to say, the arrival of my child is no longer that exciting to either of them.

    My husband's family all live in the same town. Heck, my ILs live right across the street. But this is grandchild #7 for them, so the excitement isn't really there either. 

    ::sigh:: I know how it feels to just want that one person to make a big deal about welcoming your baby into the world...

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