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Selfish? I don't want to have another

AprilsiesAprilsies
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Ugh....I feel terrible....I just don't think we can do it...unless we magically start making double what we're making now.....

Also....I HATED being pregnant.....but my daughter is perfect I am scared of having another with complications or issues. 

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Re: Selfish? I don't want to have another

  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    My BFF is like you, she is just talking about another and her DD is 4.5.  She will be in public school next year, so the daycare expense will be gone.  She has also forgotten about the joy of pg.
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  • readyin07readyin07
    Honestly, I don't think it is selfish not to "give" your LO a sibling - anymore than I think it is selfish for ppl whose finances are tighter to have a second child because that's what they want to do (unless it becomes an issue where it's really irresponsible - you know what I mean). I am an only child - my mom could not have any other children.
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  • readyin07readyin07
    Oops. I responded too quickly. Anyway, I don't feel as though I have been deprived of anything. There are times I would have liked to have a sibling and times I am happy to be an only. It's up to the individual to do what they want to do.
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  • Leila'sMommyLeila'sMommy
    I don't want to have another, either! It isn't selfish at all. For us, it is not financially doable. Even if it was, we both decided very early on we were one and done. Totally happy about the decision.
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  • MrsBeckaT615MrsBeckaT615

    Money ALWAYS has a way of working out. I wouldn't even consider money as a reason to not TTC (of course, if you're homeless that's another thing). My DH and I are teachers.. If we look at it on paper, there's no way we can afford 4 kids, but family is important to us. We know things will work out. My FIL told me his biggest regret in life wasn't having more children. He thought they couldn't afford more and later realized that money works itself out. 

     There's a bond that siblings have... I want my kids to experience. It doesn't make you bad for not wanting another one, but if you could possibly bare another 10 months of pregnancy, I'd give it a shot.  

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  • rebus82rebus82

    There is nothing, NOTHING, selfish about having only one child. To say it's selfish means that there's something wrong with only children, or an only child is innately deprived of some glorious "thing." Having a sibling doesn't guarantee anything in life except less time/affection/help from your parents. 

    Frankly, with the ridiculous overpopulation issues this world is facing, I consider it far more selfish to have multiple biological kids than to just have one and stop or adopt. 

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  • TheFannins729TheFannins729 member
    ditto every point you just made.  every second child in my family makes me want to only have one.  lol.
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