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2nd Trimester
Brother's Wedding in Mexico
Alright.... I am due June 16th and my brother just recently booked his destination wedding in Mexico for July 30th. Our baby is going to be about 5 weeks old when the wedding comes around. What do I do??? I told him and his fiance that I am going to try my best to go but I do not know if I am going to be able to leave my baby!!
My sister in law, who has something to say about everything said, "Well, you should have thought about this before you went and got knocked up, knowing he was having a destination wedding!" Am I at fault here? Should I really base my life around someone else's?? She then said that I should bring the baby!! My DH says no way in hell we are bringing a 5 week old to Mexico. He also says that he will stay home with the baby and I can go, but I have trouble leaving my dog for 3 days, nevermind a newborn!!
Any input would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Brother's Wedding in Mexico
Why wont you bring the baby?
Just curious. I assume you are going to be staying at a nice resort/ hotel if it's a destination wedding. People travel with newborns all the time.
Apparently people's opinions differ but like I said people travel with newborns all the time.
We took DD to Myrtle Beach, SC from WI when she was 3 weeks old. She's just fine.
It's your decision. It will not be detrimental to LO's health, I promise. GL with the situation. Sorry your SIL came at you that way!!!
No, you are not at fault. That is absolutely ridiculous.
That said, quite honestly you have no way of knowing if you will be able to go, and your baby certainly won't be able to. For one thing, your due date (as I learned) is not an expiration date...the baby may come early, and you may have a 7-8 week old at that point, OR the baby may come late, and you may have a 3-4 week old at that point. The baby won't have time to get the vaccinations that would make that kind of trip safe, and you yourself will probably still be physically recovering. My OB didn't want me to travel ANYWHERE for 6 weeks, much less internationally.
I honestly don't see where it's likely you or the baby can safely go, and that's the priority for your family. Don't feel even a tiny bit guilty.
WTF to the nerve of "you should have thought of it before you got KU" Did they have a date set before it happend. And either way I dont think I would travel with my newborn or leave it either. I would hope that your brother would understand this. And from reading that he just booked it. I would think that he would have thought of others maybe not being able to attend. We wanted to do a destination and didnt due to knowing it was important for our fam to be there and not all would have been able to for various reasons. I wish you luck for him to understand
If anyone could have rearranged plans, it would be your brother and his fiance! I would make the decision that you feel best about and stick to it, they will either understand and accept it, or be total douche bags.
Caring for your child is your #1 priority now, they will get over it if you can't go.
No, you shouldn't base your life around someone else's plans, just like they shoudln't base their lives around yours(I'm not saying you think that way, just saying). Your SIL is a douche.
I wouldn't take a 5 week old out of the country. And it would really be hard for me to be gone from my newborn.
If it were me, I think I would have to send my brother an expensive bottle of champange to their hotel room and send my best wishes.
They knew that I was pregnant before finalizing everything. Half of my family can't afford to go and they knew that before booking as well.
I guess I have to think about myself here, since they are thinking about themselves too!!
Your brother's fiance sounds like a ***.
I would take the baby. Your life shouldn't stop because you have a child. I went to Mexico in October and there were probably 5-7 couples on our plane that had children under the age of 1. It would be easier to travel with an infant than a toddler.
YES!!!
Last year my husband and I got married in the Bahamas. My nephew (SILs son) was six weeks at the time. She actually went three weeks early but insisted that NO MATTER what she would be there. She is family first and very easy going when it comes to her kids. To be honest I don't know if the situation was reversed if I would have gone but I'm a much more nervous person than she is. The baby was totally fine and they just made sure to keep him out of the sun.
I already replied once, but as I am thinking about this more I have something else to add.
It really depends on how close you are with your brother. You can travel with your baby, whereas if you were on bed rest you could not travel and the situation would be different. My brother's wedding would be WAY too important for me to miss. I would never leave my baby or my husband behind for such a special occasion. DH would never leave me or our daughter if the situation were reversed.
So he planned the wedding AFTER he knew your due date or before? If he did it afterwards... I wouldn't feel bad AT ALL!! It wouldn't have been a big deal at all the push it 2 or 3 months!! (or at least not have expectations that you go). What if you are breast feeding??
I had a similar situation where my cousin was plannnig a wedding in October out of state, then said she was going to push it to late May... then went back an forth. In the mean time, we were TTC and I got PG and my due date is mid-June. As soon as I found out, I called her just so that she knew I was PG and wouldn't be able to go if it were in May... not to make her feel bad or ask her to change it...simply because they hadn't made a decision and I thought she would want to know in case SHE wanted me there...
I think there was fleeting thoughts of... why didn't we take a month or two off from TTC... but the truth was, they didn't have a set date and I wasn't going to plan TTC around that! I think that would have been ridiculous... and look, if I had, I wouldn't be brewing this particular LO!
I don't think I could leave a 5 week old, and I say you just tell them that you are sorry you won't be able to attend. For all you know... you might be a week or two late and have just a 3 week old and waste all that money! Or a c-section and need to recover... there are too many issues.
Oh... and in the end, they pushed the date up to mid April so that I could attend.
It was mostly the fiance. She does everything and my brother just goes with it. He needs to grow a pair IMO. She is having this wedding to save money (her parents are giving her $10,000), and that is all she wants to spend.
Some days I feel bad and others I don't. She asked me to be in the wedding to boot. So now what? I buy a dress and hope to go? Now I am out more money!!
I am soo stressed about this. I do appreciate all of your responses. That is also a fear of mine... have a c-section and a late baby. Then you are right.. I have an even younger baby.
Wow. That's pretty annoying of them! If they planned this date knowing that you would have just delivered a baby, I say skip the wedding. The SIL comment made it seem like their date was planned and you got pregnant. They *knew* it would be difficult if not impossible for you to go when they set the date & location. You're not at fault.
My DH and I got married in Mexico and we took our 5 month old DD. But she also had her 1st shots. We brought premade formula that we didn't have to mix with water and we got the drop ins for the bottles so we didn't have to wash anything except the nipples and we washed with bottled water. she was fine and never got sick. we had a pack and play for our room and brought our stroller. She did great. Its a choice up to you and your hubby. My sister is planning a destination wedding in jan 2011. i just asked her to have a kid friendly place for my other 2 LO. this baby will be around 6 months old. so we plan to do the same thing if i am not BF.
Dont feel bad, I wouldnt go with a 5 week old baby anywhere, let alone another country. Will baby even be vaccinated by then?
You shouldnt plan your life around someone elses, especially for one day. Your SIL-to-be sounds like a real b!itch saying that to you, I give them 3 yrs max...
If you are really thinking you might not want to go, here is a list of when they get vaccinated. Usually they dont start til about 2 months. GL with whatever you decide.
Birth- Hepatitis B 1-2 months- hepatitis B 2 months- DTaP (diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis) vaccine, Hib vaccine, polio vaccine, pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV) 4 months- DTaP, Hib vaccine, polio vaccine, PCV. 6 months- DTaP, Hib, polio (6-18 months), PCV, hepatitis B (6-18 months) 12 months- MMR (12-15 months), Hib (12-15 months), chicken pox (12-18 months), PCV (12-15 months) 15 months- DTap (12-18 months)