Does your H watch DC while you're at someone's house?

jamie5315 · December 2009

I have observed that most men don't pay any attention to their child while they are visiting someone. They are in their own little world mingling and are totally oblivious to anything the child is doing. I went with my H tonight to his mom's house and spent the whole time chasing DS around and telling him no every time he tried to touch something. It seems to be like that whenever we go somewhere. I've noticed all my friend's husbands do it too. It's annoying and I'm exhausted.

mabst196 · December 2009

DH will if I tell him to. We went to a friend's house last night and we took turns chasing after her.

jennandare · December 2009

We take turns usually. I do sometimes have to remind him though.

Stilts · December 2009

Yes, but I usually have to ask him to. We'll take turns following him while he makes his rounds.

*NNO* · December 2009

My DH is similar to that, but if I ask him to do something (get DS ready for dinner, change his diaper, etc), he does it with no questions asked.

jenbowman · December 2009

Yes & no.......As in my post below, I have had too many situations where I am stuck watching/discipling someone else's child b/c their parents weren't paying attention. Before DH & I had Olivia we discussed, how that wouldn't be the case with our own....we would be responsible for our own children at someone else's home. For instance, Christmas Eve when I needed to go and do something in a different room that Olivia was playing in, I would get DH to come and take over instead of "assuming" someone else would do it.

So yes, I do most of the child watching when we go to family's homes but if I need a break....DH is there to take over. He might just need to be reminded!

SenoraKristin · December 2009

DH aboslutely watches DD while we're at other people's houses. He does most of the changing and chasing her around at public places too - like church this morning - because I'm in my thrid trimester.

rynhales · December 2009

Stilts:
Yes, but I usually have to ask him to. We'll take turns following him while he makes his rounds.

this

LaLaSweets · December 2009

jennandare:
We take turns usually. I do sometimes have to remind him though.

same here

yo.mama · December 2009

This is not my experience. We both watch him, and if we aren't, we let the other know before hand.

britishbride05 · December 2009

nope, dh is pretty good about it. i think it's mainly b/c i'm 30 weeks pregnant and i can't chase after DD too well. he does zone out occasionally, and I'm watching her like a hawk, but when it comes to the physical stuff, he's chasing her!

trizzie · December 2009

We take turns chasing him. I would definitely be exhausted if I had to watch him the whole time, he is into everything!

smacb · December 2009

Dh is too busy talking and ignores him unless I specifically ask him to watch him while I go to the bathroom or something similar.

JulyFiveBride · December 2009

We both do, but I would say most of it falls on me. We usually stick together for the most part and one of us will jump in when needed. But if he gets too into a conversation or a movie or something I know that I have to take over, because he becomes oblivious. But if he notices I'm getting tired or if I ask him to, he will take over. And if he runs out to the car or to the bathroom or something, he makes sure that I'm watching her and know that he's not. He doesn't just assume if he disappears, I'll be waiting to take over for him.

jamie5315 · December 2009

smacb:
Dh is too busy talking and ignores him unless I specifically ask him to watch him while I go to the bathroom or something similar.

This is exactly what I am talking about. It seems like almost all of them do this!

Miss.Modular · December 2009

we both watch our son when out. If one of us is stepping away to do something, we tell the other. i didn't marry a douchebag.

Echowysp · December 2009

Dh is pretty good about it, but I chase ds way more than he does.

He will always hold ds so I can eat first, which I appreciate.

Mrs.Hizzo · December 2009

Unfortunately, you pretty much described my husband. He'll step it up if I specifically tell him to, but usually he sort of forgets he has children in social situations. Also, he always wants to travel out of state to every single event his extended family invites us to (weddings, graduations, anniversary parties, baptisms) and I've pretty much put the kibosh on it because he socializes the whole time while I get stuck in the hotel room for the entire trip napping the kids and putting them down in the evening. He wants to show them off but then have no responsibility for them because he's busy catching up with everyone. It drives me insane.

jamie5315 · December 2009

Miss.Modular:
we both watch our son when out. If one of us is stepping away to do something, we tell the other. i didn't marry a douchebag.

Haha. Well, I actually did apparently. Hence the reason we are getting a divorce.

KristenBtobe · December 2009

Nope, we watch her equally since we're equal parents. He usually chases after her more since I'm getting a little unwieldy with this second pregnancy.

Rah · December 2009

since my dh is pretty shy he prefers to chase our dc around when we're out - i'm the social butterfly....however that said, when we're at our own him he tends to be oblivious for the most part! lol but we're pretty equal for the most part.

Miss.Modular · December 2009

Mrs.Hizzo:
Unfortunately, you pretty much described my husband. He'll step it up if I specifically tell him to, but usually he sort of forgets he has children in social situations. Also, he always wants to travel out of state to every single event his extended family invites us to (weddings, graduations, anniversary parties, baptisms) and I've pretty much put the kibosh on it because he socializes the whole time while I get stuck in the hotel room for the entire trip napping the kids and putting them down in the evening. He wants to show them off but then have no responsibility for them because he's busy catching up with everyone. It drives me insane.

why do you allow (read: enable) this?

fIowerchild · December 2009

Yes, he does. In fact, he does most of the chasing and I do most of the socializing.

karenmarie20 · December 2009

DH and I actually talked about this recently. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one doing everything when we are at our parents or friends house. I just asked him to pitch in more when we aren't home. He's been much more cognizant about it and so far, so good.

LovingMyHubby · December 2009

fIowerchild:
Yes, he does. In fact, he does most of the chasing and I do most of the socializing.

This.

Mrs.Hizzo · December 2009

Miss.Modular:
Mrs.Hizzo:
Unfortunately, you pretty much described my husband. He'll step it up if I specifically tell him to, but usually he sort of forgets he has children in social situations. Also, he always wants to travel out of state to every single event his extended family invites us to (weddings, graduations, anniversary parties, baptisms) and I've pretty much put the kibosh on it because he socializes the whole time while I get stuck in the hotel room for the entire trip napping the kids and putting them down in the evening. He wants to show them off but then have no responsibility for them because he's busy catching up with everyone. It drives me insane.

why do you allow (read: enable) this?

We can't all have perfect husbands, Mod. He's a good guy with many, many wonderful qualities, but the sad fact is, he has the attention span of a golden retriever. You know that scene in "Up" where the dog is explaining how his master made him a collar so that he could talk and out of the blue he yells "SQUIRREL!!"? That's my man. Multi-tasking is not his thing. I knew this when I married him. And he does try.

Jermysgirl · December 2009

We take turns...I am not going to be the only sucker running after our child.

lite-bright · December 2009

We take turns, so each of us gets a chance to eat, socialize a bit, etc.

Daisy77 · December 2009

Yep. We have had a few times in the past where he has gone off to hang with the guys leaving me to fend for myself with the kids. Notably a holiday where I had *just* had my wisdom teeth pulled and was trying to prep food for DS when SIL came to me holding an infant DD#2 and said I needed to take her because DH was off playing Wii. Wtf? I later explained to him that HE is their parent too, I shouldn't be handling everything because he wanted to play Wii. When do I get to play around and ignore the kids? Never. Now he is much more aware of what needs to be done and not leaving me hanging on my own.

DaisyAdair · December 2009

My family is the same way - including my mother. I have to physically be out of the area for any of them to take any initiative to watch them. There is some belief - whether it's concious or not - that if mommy is around, everyone else gets a free pass.

I was at my parents' on Christmas. I left the room to pee. There were 3 adults and 3 kids....should have been enough, right? I come back to find DD2 had fallen off the couch and DD1 was covered in frosting. Nobody was watching!

It annoys me to the point where I either don't go anymore and force them to watch them because I'm not around or, when we're home, I just leave the house altogether so I have a moment of peace where I don't have to constantly be on alert while everyone around me gets to zone out and watch TV.

exhausted_bride · December 2009

DH usually takes care of DS when we are out. I'm home with him all day so this is his turn to take care of him. He just does it... we never really discussed it.... He feeds him, changes him, carries him for the most part.

gatogrrl · December 2009

Actually, DH is a little more attentive than I am.

annabelle.27 · December 2009

Yes, he does.

skoorbnibor · December 2009

we take turns. I dont think I ever had to tell him, but if I did, it was only once.

Monkeybuttwhat · December 2009

Mine does. For the past few nights he let me party it up while he watched all three kids. He likes to give me a break and spend time with his kids. It's not him watching his kids. It is him being a dad.

andrealynn0707 · December 2009

We trade off who is in charge.

femmeftle9 · December 2009

fIowerchild:
Yes, he does. In fact, he does most of the chasing and I do most of the socializing.

I thought I was the only one (insert embarassed icon here)...

eris1995 · December 2009

DH does most of the time. It means he doesn't have to socialize.

Jeremy'sMom · December 2009

Honestly, no, not really. His logic is everybody loves Jeremy so much, they all want to spend time with him so he can just leave him with whoever's there. I try to tell DH how rude that is but he just doesn't get it.

AmyDrinkie · December 2009

Yes. I have had to pull him aside several times when visiting people and tell him that I'm not having any fun b/c he's not helping out. This weekend I almost left a party b/c of it, and after he talked me into staying he passed Ian off to his friend's wife. I left with Ian shortly after anyway.

lvisser · December 2009

Whoever is holding Kai watches him - the other person is responsible for Rylee. SO yes... he actually watches her more than I do sometimes...

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