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Getting ready to join you... sorry, long

JBsBride36JBsBride36
in Single Parents
I was waiting until after the holidays to file, and I really wish I hadn't waited.  Yesterday was rough.  DH had been up all night and complained about having to open gifts because he wanted to go to sleep.  He didn't get anything for DS or me.  DS and I went to my family alone, he got there 3 hours later.  Long story short, drinking, pills, not working much and when he does I dont get any money towards his bills, passes out in the bathroom with lit cigarettes.  I talked to 2 lawyers, they both said that I would end up having to pay spousal support... about a thousand a month.  I just make enough to pay the mortgage and all of the bills now... how is that fair???  All that I really care about is that he gets no unsupervised custody or visitation.   
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Re: Getting ready to join you... sorry, long

  • kirbearkirbear member

    Sorry to hear what you are going through.  I am not sure about spousal support as each state varies,  but that seems off to me, especially if you would have custody of the kids?  How long have you been married?  Most of the time unless you have been married for a very long time there is no spousal support or if there is, its just for a short period of time to help that person get on their feet.  In my case- my ex owned our home before we got married, he paid me a few thousand dollars- basically a deposit and first months rent for an apartment. If you make substantially more money than your husband does, you could have to pay him child support even if the kids are with you more as the purpose of child support it to have equal lifestyles at both homes.  But that could differ to in that you are hoping for him to not have unsupervised visitation.....

     I would document everything. Document his drinking, time with your son, passing out, work, pill use (how you know etc....)  You'll be surprised at how much you overlook but when writing it all down you collect all of your thoughts.  I have used a lot of my documentation with the lawyer and it has helped many times...  

    Good luck to you....

    Kirsten DD 4-7-06
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  • JBsBride36JBsBride36

    Thanks :)  In PA spousal support is one year of support for every 3 years of marraige, which is how long we've been married.  The 1000-1500 I would pay per month is after his child support is deducted.  I do make more, last year he made $1,600. 

     I really don't care about the money though... just want my son to be safe.  I do have pictures and video of him passing out etc.

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  • kirbearkirbear member

    Wow, that sucks, but you are right- money is nothing compared to your son's safety!!  Obviously there is no pricetag for what we would do for our Loved Ones!

    Good luck

    Kirsten DD 4-7-06
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  • JBsBride36JBsBride36
    Assets?  What are those??  Really, I've been working on paying the 50k in credit card debt from his cash advances...  my parents will help the first year if I have to pay that.  But honestly I don't think he can get his act together to get a lawyer to fight for that.
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  • peeps61308peeps61308 member
    That sucks! my DH also likes to drink and pass out, and he has not really worked since March so he has not gotten DD anything for her birthday or Christmas. At some point you have to worry about the money part later and do what you have to protect your DS. Everything will work out in the end!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • TarponMonoxideTarponMonoxide member

    imageJBsBride36:
    I was waiting until after the holidays to file, and I really wish I hadn't waited.  Yesterday was rough.  DH had been up all night and complained about having to open gifts because he wanted to go to sleep.  He didn't get anything for DS or me.  DS and I went to my family alone, he got there 3 hours later.  Long story short, drinking, pills, not working much and when he does I dont get any money towards his bills, passes out in the bathroom with lit cigarettes.  I talked to 2 lawyers, they both said that I would end up having to pay spousal support... about a thousand a month.  I just make enough to pay the mortgage and all of the bills now... how is that fair???  All that I really care about is that he gets no unsupervised custody or visitation.   

    SECOND OPINION!

    Get another attorney. A thousand bucks is murder for somebody who is middle class and raising two kids!

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