fighting against crying every day, fighting against the fears, the darkness, the disappointments..
I am just so unhappy with everything. Everything seems so messed up. I'm not looking forward to anyhing. Nothing seems to cheer me up.
I just cry and cry and hate myself more and more.
It's come to a point where I can't think of one thing I like about myself. I feel as though none of my goals and plans for future will be met.
Why can't I snap out of this? I feel so pathetic..
I can't sleep because I am plagued by my irrational fear of death.. My death, my children's deaths, my husband's death.. I can't stand it.. but it won't get out of my head. I'm terrified and on edge every waking moment..
I'm crying as I type this and I am so ashamed to admit it.
I can't find help in my area for people who don't have insurance..
I don't know what to do anymore.