If you were an only child..

Meg&Jesse · December 2009

what was your life like? Postives and negatives?

Most days we really want another child, but not for a few years. Somedays...I am very happy with the way things are now. Just want to know what it is like for people who grew up as the only child in their family.

sevans1975 · December 2009

I was an only child and then when I was 10 years old, I became the "baby" when my mom got remarried and I gained 2 older stepbrothers.

Anyway...it was fine being an only child. I had friends that I played with instead of siblings and I also have a pretty good imagination and had no problem playing by myself with my Legos and Barbies and stuff. I will fully admit that I was spoiled, but not to the point of "rotten", KWIM?

There were times when I would actually ask for a little brother or sister, but I realized that it wasn't really going to happen and it was cool.

I do really want another LO if we can afford it, but I know we can't right now. My DH, on the other hand, does not. He says that our DD is enough and because he was too worried about me when I was PG to "go through that again"...this is because I'm diabetic.

lovebook · December 2009

I was an only until I was 5 and my mom remarried and I gained 3 step-brothers .. then my dad remarried and I gained 3 step-sisters. That said, all my step-siblings are a lot older than me (youngest is 4 years older) and only 1 lived with us full time, my oldest step-brother who is 16 years older then me. So, really, I was the "baby" but also the "only". What was it like? Well, if I hadn't had step-siblings I wouldn't know any different and would have loved it. I had the constant one-on-one attention of my mom & step-dad (and oldest step-brother). But, since I saw what all my step-siblings had with each other - I was actually really lonely. I saw what I was missing out on with their shared memories and the special bond they have with each other. My step-siblings have never made me feel left out or unloved but I know how I feel about them and vice versa is vastly different from how they feel about each other. We're going to give (hopefully) DS at least one sibling (prefer close in age) because I don't want him to be lonely throughout his childhood.

brideofaussie · December 2009

I didn't get a little sister until I was 7. Honestly I was lonely. My parents weren't the kind that played much so I was often by myself.

To me the hardest thing about being an only child would be taking care of my elderly parents all by myself. I watched my mom help take care of my grandmother WITH the help of my aunt and felt sorry for her. I know she would not have wanted to do it alone.

lilcrablegs · December 2009

I am an only child, and overall I've been really happy about it. There were times I thought it would be nice to have an older brother or sister like my friends had-especially when I got into high school-but I never wanted a younger sibling. I wasn't lonely, and I'm still very close to my parents. So, a positive experience here

cmrand4 · December 2009

I come from a family of five children so I can't really speak from childhood experience but ironically my current two best friends were only children. They are the most thoughtful, generous, hardworking people I know...not "spoiled" at all. I would never have guessed that they were only children. On another note, being a teacher for nearly ten years I've seen lots and lots of only children in the private school I worked in. Most of them were well-adjusted and polite kids...some, on the other hand, have a terrible time sharing and interrupting conversation. Taking turns just isn't their forte yet. This leads me to believe that it's in the parenting---parents of only children can raise great well-adjusted kids--they just have to work a little harder at some of the things that having siblings naturally nurtures. Scheduling playdates and perhaps having cousins to interact with to keep from being lonely would be key. I think like PP'er said, loneliness and responsibilities of adulthood would be big factors but certainly surmountable. I know what you mean about being very happy with just one...

Dragonfly_Bride · December 2009

I'm an only child and I have mixed feelings about it. I don't begrudge my parents for not giving me a sibling (plus, they divorced when I was 2, and were only married for about 3 years, so it's not like they had a lot of time to make more than me)... but I did feel a tad lonely at time, and?definitely?felt envy of those that had?siblings. But, on the other hand, I was able to easily entertain?myself, and I felt comfortable being by myself, which lead to being pretty independent in adulthood. I was also very comfortable around adults and I think more mature than other kids around me, and I think it's because a lot of my interactions were with adults.?

I also had cousins, including one who was just a few weeks younger than me, so that was nice to have her around and we are still best friends. My older cousins were mean, so I always assumed thats what having a brother would be like, so no thank you ?

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Chrysallys · December 2009

I'm an only and I've always enjoyed being an only. Because of it my mom could take me everywhere with her since it was easy. We were also able to travel a lot. The only thing I could see being a negative is being "alone" when my mom passes.

rebus82 · December 2009

Well, I'm still an only child as my parents never had another. I loved my childhood, and it's why DH and I aren't having more than one child either.

I was raised not to take money for granted and not ask for anything from people other than my parents, and even then, not to be ridiculous. I wasn't allowed to beg grandma to buy me toys, etc. However, if there was something I wanted, 90% of the time I got it, if not just because, than for a birthday or Christmas. I wasn't spoiled, my parents wouldn't allow it. Because of that I avoided the biggest only-child stereotype.

I learned how to play by myself, how to entertain myself in bad weather, on vacations, etc. Sometimes my parents would let me bring a friend on mini-vacations with us, the way most kids would have a sibling to hang out with. This kept the "I wish I had a brother/sister" issue at bay. Not that I ever wanted one, I LOVED being the center of my parents' world.

When I was older they got me a car. Since I was the only child to buy for, I got a new one. Nothing extravagant (Honda Civic) but something safe that I didn't have to work for.

They paid my entire college tuition. Again, not a big name school, but I didn't have to take out loans.

They paid for my wedding. DH and I budgeted our money so that what they gave us paid for the honeymoon as well. It wasn't big or fancy, but it was easily the nicest wedding I've ever been to.

DH has four siblings, one full, three half (two on one side, one on the other) and none of them received cars, tuition, weddings or anything else in full because there were more of them to cover. DH said he would rather do for our son what my parents did for me, than have two kids and have to tell them "tough luck, your brother/sister needs it more."

I know that, to this day, if I ever had an emergency, my parents would be there for me. Not to bail me out of irresponsibility, but in a situation that can't be helped where we're not prepared to cover all the costs currently (hospital emergency, etc.)

tmp-214118062502913 · December 2009

Thank you for this post. We have no desire at this time to have another child - we are happy as a family of three. I was raised with a younger sister (3 years) and we had a really wonderful relationship. However DH has a sister less than 2 years younger and they have a TERRIBLE relationship and have from the get-go

We have lots of pressure from family to have another so DD isn't lonely and knows how to play with others etc. Our friends who are only children keep telling us that they wish they had siblings, that they were oh so lonely. However we have many cousins and friends with kids the same age, we chose to live in a community that is full of kids and DH is a SAHD so we think it won't be as much of an issue.

Dobie_Mama · December 2009

I'm sorta an only child ... only between my mom & dad. My dad had children from a previous marriage but they were grown by the time I came along, never lived with us, etc. Honestly, I loved being an only child. I loved having the undivided attention. I am really grateful that I was able to take part in some of the extracurriculars that I chose which wouldn't have been possible (financially or time wise) if my parents had other children together.

I never felt lonely - I had lots of friends. My friends became, and still are, very much like siblings. I can't think of any downsides, really.

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