Who raises your child?

abpdjs · December 2009

yellowcar:

DH and I raise our children. We make the rules and decisions, pay the bills, make the appointments, etc. The teachers at daycare assist in that, but they don't raise them. To be honest, I don't get all caught up in this, because I am secure enough in my own parenting to know that I'm the mama. Period. I have them for a lifetime and make the most of every minute with them.

totally agree with this and very well stated.

as far as grandparents whining about "their" time - tough.

basically our sitiuation was Carson was watched by my il's for the first year and they had their fill during the week. then we switched him to parttime daycare and they still had him 2 days a week and they had their fill during the week.

when i switched him to full time (at 2 years old) i knew i would hear the whining and i did. he sees il's every couple of weeks which is fine by me. il's know that i am not sacraficing our time as a family together all the time or every weekend. he sees my parents about every weekend b/c they live 5 mins. from us and it's for a couple hours here and there.

fIowerchild · December 2009

I am a believer that it takes a village to raise a child. I won't pretend that the teachers at his daycare don't have great influence over him - and I'm okay with that. I miss him during the day, but I'm happy he has others besides just me and my H to help him learn and grow.

I don't actually 'need' to work, but I need it for reasons that are not financial. I guess I'm not in your situation and I'm sorry you feel the way you do - I certainly don't share your feelings.

JLSBWG · December 2009

I do miss my DS, but I do really like a being a working Mom. I work part-time, so I think I have the best of both worlds. My DS is 2 and I love that he loves his daycare, talks about his friends constantly and just overall, seems like a happy, well-adjusted kid. Daycare has been such a positive influence on him that I do that think they contribute to his upbringing, but my DH and I are raising our son.

shouldbworkin · December 2009

I think it's pretty normal to feel that way when your baby is little. But, as they get older it is easier to see how much of an impact you have on their life and how important you are to them and you know that you really are "riasing" your child. My ILs watch my kids for half the day, but I still don't feel like they're raising them. They (the ILs) miss them when they're not with them too, but I really love that my kids are so close with their grandparents and love them so much. Many people have some influence on my children, but no matter how much time DH and I do or don't spend with our kids, we still seem to be the ones that have the most influence on them. Also, I don't measure the time they are parented by us just by the amount of time I spend with them. DH and I have flexible schedules, so he's with them more in the morning and I'm with them more in the afternoon. We're both their parents and are raising them together, it's not just my job to do it. And, we not always doing things witih our kids either. Sometimes we're just hanging out and that is good for us too.

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