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I feel sorry for my niece (SIL vent)

heybabeheybabe
in Austin Babies
We did early christmas with my ILs and BIL/SIL (DH's bro) & their two kids were there. I get along fine with SIL, but she's probably not someone I'd be best friends with otherwise, kwim? It kills me to hear SIL talk about their 4yo daughter, often right in front of her. My niece is probably only an inch shorter but outweighs her short & skinny 6yo bro by about 5 lbs. She's not obese, just a big girl. She's adorable and very sweet. SIL was constantly trying to force nephew to eat rich foods & telling niece that she couldn't have any bc she's too big. And would talk about how much she weighs, her size etc in front of her. Niece is definitely old enough to understand what SIL was saying & just looked so sad. It made me so sad. I told her how beautiful and smart she is, but that's not going to counteract everything her mom says I'm sure on a daily basis. ;( So sad. I really really hope she will be able to have a positive self image & not suffer pyschologically. There is no real question here. Just venting. Thx for reading & letting me get it off my chest.  
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Re: I feel sorry for my niece (SIL vent)

  • rssnlvrrssnlvr

    That makes me so sad. I had a stepmom tell me once if I wasn't careful I'd end up fat like all the other women in my family. I was probably only 7 or 8 but it has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. I wish people thought about the damage they do with thoughtless comments like that.

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  • jennynorenejennynorene
    That makes me feel like crying :-(
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  • clynn58clynn58 member
    That is sad and people wonder why children have bad self image
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  • ditzydi_2000ditzydi_2000

    Poor thing.  Sad  I know you think your words won't be able to reverse what her mom has already been telling her but any little words of encouragement and love you can give her is great.  You're such a great aunt.  Smile

    ETA:  Since I can be a total b!tch sometimes, I think I'd start making comments about SIL and see how she takes it.  Then I would point out that if she doesn't like those comments then she needs to imagine what her 4 yo daughter thinks when she makes those comments to her. 

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  • abbysmom1005abbysmom1005

    Poor thing! Sad

     

    My MIL was always telling Abby how lucky she is to be skinny and how much further that would get her in life, blah, balh, blah.  I put a stop to it pretty quickly.  Why do adults say these things to kids.  I do not want Abby growing up relating body image to sucess in life.  I just want her to be happy and healthy.

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  • MrsChristmasMrsChristmas
    That's so sad. I remember my grandmother making a comment like that one time, and it stuck with me, so I can't imagine hearing that all the time. I hope she doesn't grow up with self-esteem issues. Someone needs to have a talk with her mother and tell her how awful that is (not implying you should do it, just someone in general).
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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member

    That is so sad. Your poor niece :(

    Just keep being there for her when you can, it sounds like you are a really good aunt. 

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  • nanannnanann

    My MIL blurts out with "don't want to eat too much E and get fat" comments at times, and it drives me UP A WALL.  Luckily hasn't done it for a while, but I try to diffuse it immediately with comments in front of both.  Maybe she finally got it?

    I know she means kind of well since the girls do have some cousins that are really obese at 6 yrs old, etc., but the girls don't really know 'fat' yet and I don't want them getting complexes from their grandmother!

    all that to say, SO very sad for your niece.

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  • AbrooksAbrooks
    That is sad.  Do you think you or another family member could say something to her?  It's terrible that she doesn't realize how damaging that is.
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  • heybabeheybabe
    imageAbrooks:
    Do you think you or another family member could say something to her?
    I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing it up. It's not like we chat on the phone or anything.  If it were my sibling, I would. Or even the spouse of my sib, I might say something to my sib, but this is the wife of DH's bro who lives in another city & who we see about 3x/year. Not sure about other fam member. All I know are her ILs (DH's parents). She would be none too pleased with me if I got MIL involved... Maybe I'll just grow a pair & the next time she makes a comment like that in front of me, say something.  
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  • 2H2L2H2L member
    ditto ditzydi. I would make comments about SIL so she would get it.  Your poor niece. I had a mother like that and it led to a lifetime of eating disorders and self-image issues that I'm still working on.  Knowing what it feels like and did to me, I would definitely say something. god help the person who makes those comments to/in front of Ocho or Nove.
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