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I like having control, which is unfortunate. (too long)

BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member
in Babies on the Brain

Since I feel like I have had none over the past few months.

Things are so insane that my usually christmas-whore-self did not get a tree and hasn't put up any decorations.  Oh, and I have only bought a couple presents.  My grandfather is holding on, but he is very weak.

I got myself so upset today after a comedy of errors in court and having managed to miss a payment that is now going to mess up my credit ... that I finally found the energy to do a massive cleaning of my house.

Normally I get teased because my house is so clean. It had gotten AWFUL, so awful that a friend finally realized what a state I have been in when he dropped something off last week. The contents of my car (goodwill, yoga, emergency stuff, and a landfill of trash) had been on my floor for a while.  The leaves from my dining room table hadn't made it down to the basement after THANKSGIVING. Never mind the kitchen and the laundry and the excess shredding from my massive office reorganization.

It isn't done.  But progress was made. I want to get this difficult life stuff over with so that I can enjoy the good stuff, but I am not sure life ever works that way.



http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg



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Re: I like having control, which is unfortunate. (too long)

  • nlvadennlvaden member

    Even if you are late on some things, they don't actually report it until you are more than 15 days late...right?

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  • iowandfwiowandfw member

    Right there with you sister...no tree, hardly any decorations.

    I am just burnt out. 

    I hope you get some time off soon. 

    One Beautiful Gift Delivered 11/08 One Beautiful Angel 8/10 4 Clomid/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative 2 Gonal F/Ovidril/IUIs= Negative Please Lord, I love this baby already, we are ready when You are.
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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member
    imagenlvaden:

    Even if you are late on some things, they don't actually report it until you are more than 15 days late...right?




    http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg



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  • nlvadennlvaden member
    imageBostonGayGal:
    imagenlvaden:

    Even if you are late on some things, they don't actually report it until you are more than 15 days late...right?

    I paid one loan twice last month, and hadn't paid the other.  Then I was late for this month's, so I am more than 60 days=screwed.  Money trouble makes me feel irrationally out of control and horrible about myself.

    I feel the same way sometimes.  Things will get better after the Holidays.  I hope.

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