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Northern California Babies
POLL: Things you wish you knew about child birth...
before you had your first kid.
I was chatting with some girl friends last night and we were playing the "hind sight" game... in relation to our birth experience. Its seems that all the ladies who have been there before us... forget to mention some important things!!! (Or maybe its that we don't listen!).
Anyway... I thought it would be fun to reminisce... if you knew then... what you know now........
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Re: POLL: Things you wish you knew about child birth...
I wish I'd known how f-ing painful active labor was...and that they didn't just give you the epidural immediately. I was looking for the no-pain delivery and that just didn't happen.
Oh, and that epi's can wear off/run out.
;-) LOL.. Mine's almost the exact opposite...
I wish someone would have told me ....
Epidurals don't always stall labor. Sometimes they help you relax, and dilate 6 cm in a hour... and when you think you'll have a few hours to sleep the next thing you know you might be pushing and calling family to come back after you sent them home.
I guess the biggest thing for me, is that not everyone's labor is the same. Just because you hear one horror story doesn't mean that it will be the same for you.
Didn't stall mine! Epi at 2cm (supposedly, I still think that midwife was a big liar because I'd been in very active labor for about 2 hours and I'd been dialted to 2 cm pretty much my entire pregnancy) fully dilated in less than 4 hours.
Then the epi wore off.....
Maybe I don't wish they would have told me this..
But here goes another one. There's going to be A LOT of blood, and it may look scary. And just because its an ah-mazing, miraculous beautiful moment, your queesy light-stomach, can't stand to see one drop of blood husband may still not be able to handle it.
I wish they would have went over what meconium looked like if your water broke. I know sounds so lame, but I thought I was passing my mucus plug or had the bloody show but no my water had in fact broke (high break so his head plugged it after the initial leak). I didn't know because 1.)I expected it to be clear and 2.) when I thought of meconium I thought black tar. Nope. I should have went to the hospital earlier than I did. I was GBS + and wound up getting a fever WAY later in labor and that eventually led to my c. I sometimes wonder if that happened because I waited a few hours.
I wish I would have known... that you can have contractions for WEEKS in advance before actually giving birth. And that just cause your midwife tells you that you "won't make it to your EDD"...... you still might go a week over due!
I wish I would have known... ALLLLL the pain related to carring the baby (back ache, heart burn, etc. etc) - totally disappears the SECOND you have the baby. (Only to be replaced but other pains!)
Interesting! I still don't know what it was supposed to look like... Good one!
Not to lay on one side w/ an epi. I layed on my right side while in labor and ended up w/ terrible back labor on left side... cause the meds weren't hitting it.
What about what you learned from your OWN experience? Would you go back and tell yourself anything?
IMHO it was disguisting. It looked very brown/slightly red - hence I thought it was the bloody show. Almost the color brown like a baseball diamond clay. I don't know, I just thought it would be black/dark green if it had meconium. In fact it was my husband who said it after a while. He was like, um what if it was meconium. It never crossed my mind. He was pretty proud of himself in L&D when they confirmed that is what it was.
Did they have you switch sides? Just curious... for the first 10 minutes they had me laying in different positions until the epi fully took affect.
Well, this could just be total momnesia, but I feel like I was pretty well prepared. I pretty much read everything I could, talked to all my friends, read everything here on the board, etc. I mean, I didn't know how things would specifically feel, but I do feel like I wasn't dealt any surprises.
One thing about post-labor and pre-leaving the hospital I wish I would have known is to have been more assertive about seeing a lactation consultant. We were doing fine but I think E could have been a better latcher if we had seen someone before leaving. But L&D was completely booked so maybe the LCs were busy with more needy cases.
definitely this...they didn't think I would make it and I went a week and a half overdue!
I think the main thing I didn't know (and I'm not sure if anyone can really explain it to you) is how intense the experience is. I mean, you know it's going to be the most intense pain you can imagine... but until you actually are in the midst of it, you don't know how it can really take over your whole being. Me being a fairly quiet person, was basically screaming for a couple of hours, and not able to control it at all (and not really caring!) And everything I'd learned about breathing, relaxing, etc was totally out the window. It was just so all-encompassing that any rational thought was gone and I was acting on a more primal level.
One thing I would change is I'd have video and a better camera for right after the birth.
I'm not sure if this was because I had C/S, but I wish I knew you could possible throw up after the operation. It was nasty.
Also, for some reason, my right shoulder hurt like it had been broken afterwards. And the shaking!!! oh the shaking!! that really threw me for a loop.
No. I rolled over on my side... and I soon found out that it is not recommended. All the meds sank to the one side and didn't medicate the other. It was terrible.
Hahaha - this is actually one of the things I worry about the most. Husband + needles = woozy husband. Even needles on TV. We're watching a lot of House and Dexter to desensitize him.
This is a good thread! Anyone have any "I wish I'd known this about having a c-section" advice?
-How I wouldn't be able to walk/get out of bed for the first day or two (I know this isn't for everyone but it I absolutely could not get out of bed or move from the waist down really)
-that you could be +1 station for HOURS without being completely dilated and ready to push...not fun!
-how it could be a different doctor/nurse checking on you every single time....I would have one doctor come in and say you are 5cm and 75% effaced and then another doctor come in 2 hours later and say 5cm and 50% effaced or whatever...how does it go down?!? I know each doctor feels things differently but when all you want is progress, to hear it go in the wrong direction was really irritating
-how the machines in the delivery room would beep (that monitor the baby), and sometimes do the high alert/come check on the baby, was not my monitor...it was the other room...we could see everyone's contractions in the other rooms on the computer and we were hearing other peoples alarms...we learned to look up to see what room was beeping to make sure it wasn't us.
-seriously, that everyone's labor is different...completely different. No matter what you go in knowing....your birth story will always be different from everyone else.
Another one...
How comfortable I would be to share the birth experience with others (other than my DH).. (I had my mom, SIL, and SMIL in the room)
Once they tell you that you'll begin to push.. nothing else really matters. Pooping on the table.. having stuff "cleaned up" down below... who sees what.. shirt on.. shirt off... breathing techniques.. I don't remember ANY of it.... I didn't CARE about any of it.. I just remember the amazing joy and love I felt the moment she was out.
Oh yes...the shaking....I couldn't stop the shaking...it was uncontrollable.
And like PP said, all breathing techniques went out the window...I did what I needed to in order to get through the contractions and pain/pressure between the contractions...for me....I did take deep breaths during contractions (long deep breaths) in the earlier stages of labor but once it became more intense, I just was breathing (not really sure how) and I swayed my head back and forth (like a pendulum clock) to the rhythm of her heartbeat that I could hear on the monitor...it was the only way I could get through it...I just concentrated on her heartbeat and kept my heading swaying in rhythm to it.
Here's another one: I had a C/S, and while I was in the room, I could have sworn there was some sort of gas leak or something going on in the op room. Because there was this horrid smell. Later I found out... it was burning flesh. They used some sort of heated instrument to cut through and get to baby. LOL I remember asking my mom repeatedly, "do you smell that?? what IS that??" she explained it to me later. (thankfully)
- That when my water broke I would continue to keep leaking........... ummm gross
- After my water broke I didn't " have " to go in to the hospital. They said it was a risk of infection. But as long as they don't check your cervix, the risk of infection hasn't begun yet.
- That the recovery for a v-birth was tougher then i imagined
I'm sure there is alot more but that is all I can think of for now !
that having an Epi would not be as big of a deal as I imagined it would be, that is it was painless and I had no problems with feeling totally numb. (Alta Bates does a light one).
That the doctor would put the baby on my chest and walk away while I was on the operating table. I could barely hold her I was afraid I was going to drop her on the floor because my arms were shaking. Thank fully DH helped me out.
Oh, and that they have to prep you before DH can come in the operating room. That freaked me out a bit I wanted him there the whole time.
Wow! Really?!?! I don't *think* that was the case in my c/s... but I suppose it is possible.
Emmie asked for more c/s input... With my 1st, I wished that we had thought to have my DH take photos of Caden right away. He was so focused on me and in my state I hadn't thought to remind him. It was nice to have him up by my head holding and supporting me, but there is no turning back to get those very very first photos. (We have them of Alana.)
I had an emergency c/s, so there were other things I didn't know ahead of time that you (Emmie) and anyone else w/ a planned c/s prolly already know. I didn't know that only my DH could come into the OR. I was hoping my mom could too. And as someone else mentioned that my DH couldn't come in there w/ me at first- until the last minute... to keep the room more sterile. Luckily my OBs and anesthesiologists were great and SO supportive.
I also shook a lot and was coooold and threw up (well t/u- only after Caden) after giving birth. Luckily the anesthesiologist was totally there and ready to turn my head and catch the throw up in a little bin thing.
The one that sticks out in my mind:
Everyone has always said "you will know when you are in labor". I had a planned c/s with DS and had one with DD, but ended up going into labor with DD. I HAD NO CLUE I was in labor. I honestly didn't think I was in labor until my water broke. I had some strange pains in my groin area for a few hours and the next thing I knew, my water broke and then the contractions started.
... I wish that I would've realized that just because I'm a first time Mom doesn't mean that my labor will be long. I fully anticipated that it would be, bought stuff to 'entertain' me while in the hospital thinking of at least a 12 hour labor. There just wasn't time.
... pre term labor starting at 34 weeks along with doctors telling you you're going to have the baby early doesn't yield a child early. 6 weeks of contractions (from BH to painful ones) doesn't mean you're going to have the kid early.
... the shaking was terrible (and I had no meds)... my body just bounced uncontrollably for hours. It stunk.
... My husband is stronger than I ever thought he would be. He was my rock and exactally what I needed.
... that my 'pee hole' would and could tear. I always thought tearing was backwards... well, I tore there too.
... recovery is worse than childbirth.
AND how SORE you can get from delivering... 2 hours of pushing because the cord was wrapped around her neck = being so sore it was hard to hold her.
Oh...a heated instrument for cutting. Just the thought makes me want to boot. Shudder.
We are planning on taking my camera into the OR, I'll make a point of asking someone to remind us to actually take pictures.
Also - it's already in my chart (on their pre-registration) to give me nausea meds. I'm still on them for morning sickness.
Thanks for the info/reminders!
Great Post!!!!! This info is priceless. Keep it coming.
My BH are so bad that they take my breath away, I'm worried that when actual labor and contractions come I'll just think they are really really bad BH.
We have our first childbirth class tonight and I'm honestly a little nervous. DH is super excited, but I'm anxious and scared.
I wish I wouldve known that Id want video of it. At the time I thought that was the craziest idea in the world but I wish I had it. Its such an amazing time. Itd be so neat to have it recorded (no crowning shots or anything, just right after)
Oh, I forgot - I wish I knew I wouldn't miraculously drop half my pregnancy weight after delivery...in fact, I really wish I'd known I would GAIN weight!
I was so swollen from my IV's (I had GBS so I had 3 bags of antibiotics, plus the water for my epi, plus pitocin, plus zofran) that I was unrecognizable for days. Literally, I looked like Shrek.
i was thinking long and hard last night about what i wish i had known .. for the most part there wasn't alot that shocked me ... but luna reminded me .. after having the epi ... my ability to tell when i had to pee returned a lil bit the day after she was born but was hit or miss for a few days .. thank god for poise pads !