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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Mrs.McLovin
member
I will admit I do not like dogs
Mrs.McLovin
member
I hate when dogs jump on me. I hate when dogs lick me. I am just not a dog person. Never been bit, but was terrified of dogs as a kid. Had a terrible experience once.
So yes, I am jumpy about having DS around dogs. ILs' dog is an untrained nightmare. 80lbs jumping on you when you walk in the door.
I am not ready to have my baby around dogs yet.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I will admit I do not like dogs
That's completely understandable. I used to be really afraid of dogs too. Big ones still freak me out a little so your MIL's 80 lb'er would definitely need to stay the f_ck away from me and DS.
In response to your earlier post, that really sucks that your DH isn't on your side with this one. Obviously the dog is no big deal to him but if he knows how you feel he should really try to be more supportive.
Brendan 06.30.08
c/p 02.26.10
I don't really like dogs either, especially around DD. She is terrified of them and with good reason. We over a friends house and the dog almost attacked DD out of nowhere. DD was standing by me next to the couch playing with her toys. I think the dog was also afraid of DD.
I was scared of dogs as a child. My uncle had a small dog and I used to climb up on the tables when the dog came close to me.
Emily 8.8.08
Madeline 1.2.11
William 8.5.12
Tag team the visit. Have your DH on top of the dog and you on top of the kid. When you walk in the door, have your DH go get the dog and keep it away from you.
If you don't break this cycle, you will teach your child your fears and that just might get him bit later in life.
My dad HATES dogs too. He was attacked when he was 5 years old on his paper route (he lived in poverty in Europe... yes, he had a paper route at 5.) He has a terrible fear of them.
But he didn't keep us away from them or places that had them. I am a little anxious about dogs because I wasn't always around one growing up, but instead of avoiding them, I try to adapt to a situation and continue to raise my comfort level arounf them.
There is nothing wrong with not liking dogs and being around an untrained large dog sucks big huge donkey balls. My parents have two 100lb+ dogs who are not trained. The literally knock you over the second you walk through the door. Their obnoxious dogs are only a very small part of the reasons why DS has never been to their house, but I would never ask my parents to keep their dogs locked up for hours while we visit.
I said it in your OP, it's fine that you don't want your child around dogs, but you can't expect others to accommodate you on this.
Ditto.
I have a friend whose DH I find to be obnoxious and annoying, but I don't ask her to keep him in another room when I visit. Why? Because it's HER house.
I am a major dog person, yet I totally respect your opinion on dogs. However, I think in your last post you mentioned you would have a dog in your future. You may want to really reconsider that consider your feelings about dogs. Unless your feelings greatly change, I don't think it would be fair to the dog.
FWIW, our dog is a very close family member. It would be sheer torture for her to be closed off from us for four hours in someone else's house, especially when she could hear people. It would somewhat torture those who could hear her too! So I totally respect your opinion, but like some other posters said, I think it is unreasonable of you to try to dictate what someone else should do in their house or with their dog. I think your opinion may result in you spending Christmas alone, and you need to be OK with that. We have missed out on some things in life due to our commitment to our dog, and we're fine with that. Like some other posters, I think the real issue is that your DH would go without you.
disbride............i love you
Finding someone or something obnoxious vs being terrified / fearful of something is completely different. And comparing a person to a dog is like apples to oranges.
Yea, that's a good comparison. And for the record that is why I said I would stay home. That is why DS doesn't go to the IL's house. But since it is Christmas and the rest of the family was going to be there, maybe they could find it in their hearts to keep the dog in the other room for 4 hours. But I guess a dog is more important. That's fine.
DD loves dogs. Our dogs are around her all the time, so they don't get excited around her. Only when she's eating, haha.
However with guests they do get too excited, so we put them in another room til they calm down. I think that's perfectly reasonable to request they keep the dog in another room either initially and/or all of the time you are there.
Actually, when you are a guest in someone's home, there is no difference. Telling someone that they MUST accommodate your wishes (no matter what they are) or you will not be visiting, is rude. Politely decline and don't complain that the host won't change the way they live their life just for you.
This is pretty much us, too. When we have people over, holidays, parties, etc. the dogs stay downstairs. I don't think it's that big of a deal. We have about 400lbs of dog in our house and, while they're well behaved, they can be intimidating to non-dog people.
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FWIW, our dog is a very close family member. It would be sheer torture for her to be closed off from us for four hours in someone else's house, especially when she could hear people. It would somewhat torture those who could hear her too! So I totally respect your opinion, but like some other posters said, I think it is unreasonable of you to try to dictate what someone else should do in their house or with their dog. I think your opinion may result in you spending Christmas alone, and you need to be OK with that. We have missed out on some things in life due to our commitment to our dog, and we're fine with that. Like some other posters, I think the real issue is that your DH would go without you.
To an extent... but if you go to someone's for dinner and have a food allergy, I can't imagine not being able to tell them you can't eat shellfish or whatever... or if you have vegetarian needs. Just like if someone were to have a pet allergy, I can't imagine not letting a host know that they need to put their animals away.
So maybe you should have told them DS is allergic to dogs.
this is a bit dramatic..don't ya think?
At the moment, it really is the dog or B and me. I understand that some people are hard core dog people and some people are understanding that not everyone is a dog person. That's life.
Whoa. I never said I would dictate / demand someone to keep their dog in another room. I said that I understood why someone would ask another person to do so. I have asked others to keep their large dogs in another part of the house because I AM THAT fearful of dogs. But I certainly would never demand that they do it.
The post wasn't complete without your 2 cents. Thank you.
Again, you are asking a whole houseful of people to bend for YOU. Why is it that YOU can't be the one to bend here? Since it's Christmas and the rest of the family is going to be there, maybe YOU could find it in your heart to let your child visit people who have a dog in their home. It goes both ways.
No point in arguing with you since you miss my point or you just don't care.
Oh if she had an allergy, we would be in full support of this conversation she is having. That is TOTALLY different.
Dh wants one. I do not want one.
Ha, I have to agree. It's kind of similar. My mom and I are also allergic to most cats and my sister would clean extensively and put her cat in the basement when we would visit so that we weren't so bothered.
I mean, when people host others, don't you try to make your guests as comfortable as they can be? Obviously I don't expect people to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone, but my point is that if someone you've invited over is that fearful / allergic / uncomfortable with something, wouldn't you want to be as hospitable as you can?
It has nothing to do with being a dog person. And for the record, you are the one who is making your family make the choice between you and a dog. You are forcing them to make the decision. And honestly, if it was me making that decision, I would say fine, stay at home, alone on Christmas.
It's 1 dog. Not a whole houseful of people. We are going to put our dogs up at X-Mas. Oh no!! Call the Pets Board!!!
Glad I am not in your family. I always tried to accomodate guest. But hey, that's me.
Sorry, I wasn't necessarily referring to you, but the OP is demanding that the dogs be kept penned up or she won't visit. It's one thing to politely ask if it's possible, but if the answer is no, then it's rude to hold that over your family's head and say, well if the dog isn't penned, then we aren't visiting.
One more question: if YOU are scared of dogs, can you send DS with DH? So DS doesn't have to miss out? Are you using not wanting to have DS around dogs as an excuse so you don't have to be around the dog?
I can't imagine the rest of your family wanting to put your son in any danger. I am sure if they thought it would be at all bad, they'd put the dog away... plus with that many adults vs. one dog, I am sure it's a completely managable situation...
Ok, so answer me this - how many people are going to be there? How big is the house?
To comment on someone else's post, I am not trying to be rude by saying I won't come if the dog isn't penned up. It's I don't want my baby around a dog. If they don't pen up the dog, fine I won't go.
There will be about 15 adults there. They all mean well, but it isn't their job to keep the dog and baby seperated. It's my job. I'm not trying to be mean here. DS won't be around an unknown dog now. He does get a little rough. Before DS, I would go around dogs, but was uneasy about it. DH would help keep the dogs away from me. I never demanded dogs be put away. But now with a running baby who can get a little rough, I don't even want to go there.