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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
brownidgrl611
member
Help! I'm getting custody of my SIL's twins
brownidgrl611
member
So I'm kind of a lurker around here and I did post this on the multiples board as well, but thought I'd post here for more traffic. So I can't really go into details but my DH and I will be getting custody of my SIL's twin boys on Monday. They are one month old and a few days. My ds is 15 months old and quite demanding so needless to say I'm a little freaked out at the thought of caring for newborn twins on top of a toddler. I'll be going from 1 kid to 3 in a matter of days! I could really use some tips, advice, anything you're willing to give me! Thanks ladies 
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Re: Help! I'm getting custody of my SIL's twins
Do you have any friends or family who can help out with housework, cooking, etc. for the first week or so til you sort out a new schedule with the twins and your DS?
Good luck and hang in there!
Seriously, get some help if you can. Do you have family nearby that could come over? I'm not going to lie to you, twins are really hard at first. Just remember that it does get better, usually around 6 months.
Also, try to get them on a schedule. I was much more firm with that when the boys were babies. It helped me with some of my sanity. Finally, remember to let the small things go. The only thing that's important is that your family is happy. The house and whatnot are not that important.
Wow! That is such a loving and awesome thing to do for those little boys. I am sure it will have it's challenges, but will be very rewarding.
I would definitely get some scheduled help and establish some sort of schedule. My mom had a 4 year old, a two year old and then twins. My dad is a truck driver so she was essentially on her own most of the time. Grandparents and friends really stepped in to help.
I am sending prayers for strength, patience and peace your way.
You totally can do this! it will take some time to get used to. Do the twins have any medical problems?
Your priority will be the kids. Housework will have to wait. breath.
You are awesome for doing this.
Can you set up a few stations around the house where you can all be? Maybe a few new toys or books for DS - so you can pull something new out every 2-3 days. Make a safe enclosed play area for him (move couches, etc) so he is close by and contained and you can set the twins up too during feedings, etc. I don't think I am describing this well.
Luckily they are both healthy but one of them does have a broken leg. It doesn't seem to bother him at all and their orthopedist says babies heal really fast so I can still do normal diaper changes and dress him without it hurting him.
Organization is the key! Have a dedicated diapering area so you can keep everything within arm's reach (diapers, wipes, ointment, etc), and a space for bottle preparation. I would also make bottles in batches to save time.
Make sure they are on a tight schedule: bottle for Twin A at 8:00, bottle for Twin B at 8:15, breakfast for your LO at 8:30, etc. Don't deviate from the feeding schedule if you can help it - that's the big thing with having multiples or taking care of multiple ages.
Try to do two loads of laundry per day. Start it before you put everyone down for a nap and then change it to the dryer when everyone is asleep. (Hopefully the twins are good nappers, lol!)
Good luck! You can do it!
Personally, I've always had a hard time asking for help, but I think now is the time to make new friends who will lend you a hand. I had a great experience in the newborn group hosted by a nearby hospital. If they don't have one nearby for you, find out what resources they know of in the community for new parents, especially for multiples.
Know that when you ask even strangers for help, you are helping the twins -- it's not something you are doing for yourself. And it sounds like you are already willing to do whatever it takes to help out these little babies.
What an awesome thing you are doing! Goood luck!
First of all. What amazing people you have to be to take this on. That in itself will give you the power that you need to do this. I hope you are so sincerely proud of yourself and your openness to help in what must be an awful situation. You've already proven you can do this.
My advice would be to try and work into a routine as quickly as possible. It will take the stress off of you once you get in to it. Be consistent. Always.
Best of luck and please update us when you have a moment. I'd love to hear how you are doing.
you are AWESOME! you can totally do it. those babies are so lucky to have you. they really just need to eat, be changed, and be loved on when they're that little. find ways to enlist your 15 mo old's help. teach him to bring you diapers, find a paci, and sing songs to the babies.
you're going to do great!
Wow, girl, that's pretty amazing of you!
You can do it! The others had good advice, I can't really think of anything to add.
My DS was 15 mos when we brought DD home. He was barely walking so it was quite a handful, but absolutely do-able! You'll be fine!! I would definately set up a schedule as much as you can with the twins, but more so with your DS. He will need structure with this big change in the house! Make bottles for the whole next day at the end of the night. Do laundry during naps and if the toys are everywhere at the end of the day, it's ok!
What kind of hours does your DH work? Hopefully he will be hom ein the evenings for bath time and bottle prep!
And as far as the broken leg goes, little ones heal very fast! My DD (15 mos) and I fell down the stairs in October and she had a lower leg fracture. It healed in 4 weeks! She was even trying to walk with the cast on. With a little one who is not mobile I can imgaine it would heal even faster.
You are doing a wonderful thing for these babies! Good Luck to you!
this is so amazing of you. really wonderful.
i'm sure it is going to be stressful, so tomorrow get as much organized as you can. i imagine it will be a bit of trial by fire. i would also reach out and ask anyone you can to help. even if that means in the evening hours. you'll need a break at some point. you can totally do this. give it a few weeks, and i'm sure you'll get into a good groove.
please know that if you need anything at all, or just need to vent, we're here for you. good luck to you!
I just died of shock reading that.
I agree with those who said housework and stuff can wait. I would focus on getting them used to your routine. If you don't have a Moby then order one. You can wear the twins at the same time leaving hands free for other things. Make a bunch of snacks for DD, and make sure you are stocked on things you will need this week.
((((HUGS))))) I am sure this isn't the idea situation for you or SIL but I am so glad she has you to take the twins rather than an unknown foster family.
I would invest in anything I could to save time. Loads of bottles so you can have the liners (if you use them) and the formula already pre-measured in so you only need to add water. I would buy lap pads to put under the twins while they sleep so if they have a blowout you don't have to change the sheets, just change the lap pad. A ton of Aquaphor to put on everyone's rear-ends each diaper change (since you may not be able to change them as frequently due to being so busy) to minimize the chance of having diaper rash.
I would also get something like the FP Rainforest activity set for the twins to lie under, make sure I had 2 bouncers, and have a swing handy. Oh, and get a sound sleeper (they sell them at BB&B) so they can have white noise to sleep.
Finally, I'd make sure you had special time with you and DS alone (if possible during the twins nap) so he doesn't get jealous.
Good luck. What your family is doing is an amazing thing
Everyone has such great advice for you, so I just wanted to say good luck and God bless.
Also, maybe your family who offered to help would be willing to cook up a few meals for you to freeze as well.
Do you have an older neice/nephew or a neighbor who would be willing to help out a few days a week for a little bit of cash? I don't know it's financially possible, but hiring a teenager to come in and help you with the babies 2 or 3 days afternoons a week might be worth it. That way you can go to the bathroom/shower in peace, put in a load of laundry, etc. Or just have someone to help with diaper changes, playing with the kids and feeding them.