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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
advice needed on how to cut out a friend
a friend of mine is just a real debbie downer. everything i say, she has to one up. every photo on FB, she comments about it and either says something condescending or talks about herself, every comment about my kid is either "oh, they all do that" or "well, my kid did it sooner". I send her pics of DD and she doesnt even acknowledge that she got them. I never get a thank you note for gifts for her kids. the list goes on and on...
She has always been this way (we have been friends for many many yrs but now live in different states) and I really am getting tired of it. I just feel like there is nothing good from our friendship.
I thought about telling her how I feel but I honestly don't want it to be a huge blow up fight (which is what she does anytime someone tells her something she doesnt like). Since we live in different states, I could just delete her off FB and not answer her calls..but i feel like that is cowardly. also, we have a couple of mutual friends on FB and I worry that i wont be able to comment on their stuff w/o her saying something snarky. or will blocking her eliminate that problem?
I just don't know what else to do.
Mom to 2 beautiful girls, 3 yrs and 22 months old. My 2nd was born at 32 weeks due to Rhogam failure/severe complications from Rh disease and is our miracle. She has bilateral auditory neuropathy and a cochlear implant, activated 4/5/2012 at 19 months.
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Re: advice needed on how to cut out a friend
if you want to say something, just tell her what a jerk she is and then go your seperate ways.. OR you could just delete her from your life.. 2nd way is probably the way i would go bc im non-confrontational
good luck either way, you dont need people like that in your life.
I'm all for open/honest discussion if the situation warrants it. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably just stop communicating with her. It might sound cowardly, but I don't really think you need to have some big confrontation with her about it... it's not as if you see each other often, etc.
I might not necessarily delete her from FB, but I would stop sending gifts (if she is not acknowledging them with a simple thank you!).
Forgot to add that I have an acquaintance (I wouldn't go as far to call this person a friend IRL!) on FB who has a similar attitude. If I post a video, picture or anything about Logan, especially milestone-related, she has to one-up it.
After finally getting sick of her tales of her 7-month old walking independently, talking, and feeding himself sans mess, I came up with the perfect retort. "Wow, that's rare! He must be very gifted. I would love to see a video of that!" No video yet... heheh.
If you don't care about mending or keeping the friendship - delete her as a FB friend and stop sending stuff to her family. LDR are hard to maintain even when you like someone - so if you don't like someone it should be easy to start to wonder a part kwim?
I really dislike people like that - but most likely it means she isn't happy in her own life or with her own life. It's a defense mechanism in the superiority complex family to make her self feel better. If you do like her and want to maintain your friendship then you need to start calling her out on these things. Each and every time. I wouldn't do it via email or FB but by phone - just ask why she says things like and use specific examples. Tell her how it makes you feel. If she cares about you and the friendship then she may see how her actions are causing you harm. If she doesn't then the friendship might not be worth it.
I think this is a good idea. Otherwise I would just block her and pretend she doesn't exist.